


happenstance

by FrostybWitch



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU-verse, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Starcrossed Lovers, anti-villain Lena, dark and possibly disturbing themes, don't let the fluff in the first 4 chapters fool you, happy end, reluctant enemies, unwillingly evil lena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-05 02:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12785325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostybWitch/pseuds/FrostybWitch
Summary: Kara supposes that like most superheroes, even villains have their own (not so) secret identities to retreat to during the day. As disturbing as that thought is.Though, in knowing that however, certainly does not prepare her with the mental fortitude for running into any of them out of working – or should she say, hero – hours.In the midst of reining in her surprise, Kara inwardly wonders if there’s a standard proper protocol somewhere for running into the little sister of her cousin’s greatest nemesis at some run-of-the-mill supermarket in town.Or.Even in a universe where Lex Luthor runs rampant and free, and Lena inevitably sides with her family, Kara has never once stopped believing that she is nothing but good.





	1. a chance meeting

There are two kinds of evil in the world.

There's the one that involves giant corporate companies, running solely on the fuel of corruption and the blood of their overworked employees. And that, unknown to anyone who doesn't pay enough attention, owns more than half of the entire city and may or may not be involved in some very dubious investments and operations. Not to mention the possession of the kind of power to ruin or make an individual with just a simple snap of the fingers.

And then, there's the world-dominating kind of evil that leaves nothing but a fiery trail of mass hysteria and carnage in its wake to promote their cause, and will not stop at absolute nothing to achieve their one and only goal – world domination.

The Luthors just so happen to be both.

That is, if you were to replace the whole world-dominating plot with the complete eradication of the alien race on Earth. (Though, that's already cutting it pretty close if you were to ask Kara. Potato, potahto. The same kind of difference.)

And when they're not out for alien blood or coming up with wildly nefarious plans to take down her and her cousin, they're usually out playing the role of the richest, most blueblood family the world can possibly offer.

Which includes smiling for cameras, appearing on various magazine covers (read: Forbes' Most Influential Family of All-time) and morning talk shows, doing interviews and evading the press. Basically, looking every bit like the picture-perfect family of wealthy aristocrats.

Kara supposes that like most superheroes, even villains have their own (not so) secret identities to retreat to during the day. As disturbing as that thought is.

Though, in knowing that however, certainly does not prepare her with the mental fortitude for running into any of them out of working – or should she say, hero – hours.

Oh, not at all.

Hence, it is safe to say that when Kara realises the hand that had reached out for the last tub of cookies-and-cream ice-cream, the same time as she did, belongs to none other than Lena Luthor, she had been more than just completely taken aback.

In the midst of reigning in her surprise, Kara inwardly wonders if there's a standard proper protocol somewhere for running into the little sister of her cousin's greatest nemesis at some run-of-the-mill supermarket in town.

 

* * *

 

Bare-faced, with her hair twisted up in a messy top-knot and dressed down in jeans and an oversized MIT sweatshirt, stands Lena Luthor in all of her Luthor glory, literally an arm's length reach away from Kara.

Gone are those uptight no-nonsense buns, pressed blouses and dark red lipstick she's so frequently pictured wearing in most press covers. And if it weren't for the one too many confrontations Kara has had with the infamous Luthor clan, she definitely would have passed her by without a second glance. Though, looking at how she's dressed for the occasion, that must have been the intention.

Without the sharp edges of her heavy make up and the armour of her business-formal regalia, she is every bit softer. Normal even, without the whole Luthor bravado and arrogance. Though, her beauty is still very much apparent.

Seeing her up close like this, she's in fact, a lot smaller than Kara remembers her to be, standing just a couple of inches shorter than herself.

_Must be the heels_ , Kara thinks, briefly taking in the youngest Luthor's worn-out pair of white vans.

Then again, she can never be too sure. Considering how the woman's usually standing along the side-lines with her head down, face schooled into that ever-present blank mask of indifference or working, bent over behind some kind of machinery or contraption while her brother and mother take to centre stage with the execution of their plans of grandiose and destruction.

Apart from being LuthorCorp's present CFO and having graduated from MIT with a doctorate in Bio-engineering at a tender age of twenty – all of which is public information that a simple Google would tell you – little is known about the youngest member of the Luthor pack.

As far as Kara is aware, Lena Luthor has always been seen as some sort of an elusive enigma by both the press and public – and to Kara, as well – with her uncanny ability to frequently fly under the media's radar. A social cryptid, as some would put it. She would disappear for months on end, only to reappear again in some magazine feature or some random charity event.

Which makes it all the more surprising to chance upon her at a place like this; where Kara is pretty sure her total net-worth itself could buy out the entire supermarket, including its various chains, and the corporation behind it, no sweat. Last time she checked, LuthorCorp's headquarters was situated right in the heart of Metropolis.

So what on earth is Lena _**Luthor**_ doing in the sequestered west side of National City of all places?

So caught up in her thoughts, it is then does Kara suddenly, albeit rather dully registers the movement of lips before her and it takes her a little more than a belated second to realize that Lena Luthor had just spoken to her. Reeling just a half step away from the open freezer door, the Luthor gestures to the sole tub of cookies and cream ice-cream sitting on the rack in polite offer, her intention clear as day.

_Oh._

But Kara makes to wave her off immediately with a nervous titter. "Oh no, it's fine. You can have it."

She glances up, and nearly does a double take at the hypnotising pale swirl of colours present in the Luthor's eyes.

_Have they always been this green?_

In them, she sees the bright spark of genuine sincerity and a quick flash of… _something_ … that she can't exactly put a finger too. Something indecipherable that fades away quickly behind a flutter of a blink.

The youngest Luthor purses her lips, parts them, her shoulders rising with a quiet inhale, though Kara can already just hear the words of objection from the imperceptible furrow in her brows alone. But before she could even utter a single word of protest, a shrill squeal had pierced through the air, abruptly knocking the words right off her tongue.

"Mommy, mommy! Look, ice-cream!"

A child, no older than five, screeches within ear-shot, totters up to the freezer, and points to the tub of ice-cream that is the very reason for the polite fight between the Super and the Luthor.

As ironic and absurd as that is.

Who would have thought, really?

And without missing a beat, cues the frantic patter of the child's harried mother around the corner, who immediately lunges for her child as soon as she notices their tiny frame by the towering freezer box. She skids to a stop, flashes a sheepish smile to both Kara and the Luthor beside her, then turns pointedly to her child with a placating smile.

"Oh, sweetheart, there's only one left." The young mother coos, coaxingly, and there's a certain weariness to eyes that speaks of countless other exasperating situation similar to this. "How about we pick another one from this side of the freezer? Look, there's one with your favourite strawberries."

"But I want this one!" The child stomps at their feet unyielding, with all the tenacious insistence of a petulant five-year-old.

And going by what little experience Kara has had with kids, unless someone acts fast, the child's red face, puffy cheeks and pouting lips are more than a good indicator of an impending temper tantrum.

The mother only sighs, looking on at her child helplessly.

"Sweetie…"

Just as everything is starting to look like it's going down south, with the young distressed mother clearly at wits end to dissuade her child away from the open freezer, Lena Luthor is already on the move; her hand swiftly ducking into the freezer for the last tub of ice cream before Kara can even react.

Next thing she knows, the Luthor is already crouching down low to the child's height, hand outstretched.

"Here, you can have the last one." She croons quietly, her voice low and soft, and inexplicably gentle.

And when the child merely blinks up at her blankly, all wide-eyed and rosy cheeks, she simply pushes the tub of ice cream into their tiny grubby hands, with a curl of a patient smile on her lips – an expression Kara never would have thought she'd ever see a Luthor wear.

With a hand over the child's shoulder, the mother urges on gently, "Now, what do you say to the nice lady?"

"Thank you, Nice Lady!" The child chirrups brightly, face of an angel beaming up at Lena with the tub of ice-cream hugged protectively to their chest. All in the mean while, the mother mouths a silent word of apology and thanks to both Kara and Lena.

With a final wave and a nod goodbye, the Super and the Luthor watch on fondly as the mother-child duo makes their retreat around the bend of the produce food aisle, fading away into the sea of shoppers.

_Well, that's one crisis averted without the need of Supergirl._

"I hope you didn't mind me giving that last tub way."

Snapping to attention, Kara turns her gaze over to the youngest Luthor.

Who happens to be staring intently back at her, watchful green eyes holding just the barest hint of mirth. Her head is tilted slightly, lips twirled into a small coquettish smile, and it all serves to fluster Kara a little.

She coughs, sputters, then pushes at her glasses – a nervous tick that she hasn't been able to quite outgrow since her early days on earth. Fighting down on a blush, Kara fumbles for a reply, laughing sheepishly. "Oh no, not at all! I would have probably done the same thing too if I was only a little bit quicker."

"Oh, is that right?"

Kara pauses, glances up.

With a single raised brow, the Luthor regards her for a moment, gaze unwavering and smouldering in its intensity as her eyes slowly rove down Kara's form. She tries to ignore how the smile on Lena's face is looking more and more like a smirk by the second and does her best to stifle the urge to fidget under her scrutiny to no avail.

Then, like a panther on a prowl, Lena moves in, taking a slow deliberate step forward into Kara's personal space as every cell in the Kryptonian body tenses upon instinct.

She could feel her muscles coiling and pulling taut, her senses honing in onto the woman before her, all in preparation to act at the drop of any sudden movement that could be deemed as potentially destructive.

Another step and the Luthor leans in.

She's so close to Kara that she can catch the faint fragrance of her hair, see right down to the pores of her flawless porcelain complexion and make out the tiny flecks of grey and blue in her eyes. And in any other occasion, Kara would have more than likely been reduced to a babbling-blushing mess at being within such close proximity to such an attractive person.

But today is not the day.

Her arm rises – just as Kara holds her breath, feels the thrum of her powers just beneath her skin, her ice breath chilling the tip of her tongue – and ever so languidly, reaches over and past Kara's shoulder making to grab at something behind her.

"I suppose we'll just have to make do with another flavour then," the Luthor sighs affectedly, shoulders shrugging carelessly.

And just as abrupt as this whole… _**thing**_ had been, she draws away with a step – though not without purposefully brushing her front up against Kara – then drops a tub of chocolate ice-cream into her shopping basket with all the nonchalance in the world, leaving Kara staring, gaping dumbly back at her in her wake.

There's that quick lift of a brow again, albeit accompanied closely by an impish smirk this time; lips curling on one end, drawing back slightly to reveal just a hint of teeth. The pools of her green eyes flash bright with mirth and amusement, and again with that smidge of _**something**_ that Kara now suspects to be recognition.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening." Lena Luthor lilts, tipping her head politely to Kara before whisking off and away into another section of the supermarket.

Later that night when Kara is tucked safely away in the confines of her bed, she will think this all through; playing their timely encounter over and over again in her head till the moon goes down and the sun comes up.

It's all so very surreal to her, and even now, she is still reeling from the shock and novelty of running into Lena Luthor – a _**Luthor**_ of all people – at the supermarket, just three blocks down from her apartment.

She just can't stop thinking about it.

Lena Luthor and her polite smiles and her soft cooing voice. (And that _**frustratingly**_ attractive smirk of hers.) The way she had stooped down to the child's level and spoke with such slow gentle patience that practically threatens to go against all the preconceived notions and thoughts Kara has ever had about her, construed from their earlier confrontations in a less than friendlier setting.

It all vaguely reminds Kara of this one, slightly less than pleasant memory; one that she has been actively trying to repress, stashing and stowing it far back in the crevices of her consciousness.

Till now.

 

* * *

 

_Kara tried again as she weakly struggled against her restraints. Her hands were bound, and so were her legs. The skin around her wrists and ankles were wealed and raw, peeling from her constant tugging and pulling, and there was a distinct ache in her chest that seared, throbbing painfully with every breath. Broken ribs. No doubt from all the manhandling she'd been put through._

_Slowly, but surely, she could feel the tendrils of panic rising in her despite herself, twisting knots and kinks in her stomach, and making her feel sick to the bone._

_For the first time in Kara's life, she had never been more helpless than she was at the very moment; with her powers nullified from the tiny chink of kryptonite embedded in her cuffs, the only viable option she had was to simply wait for help to arrive._

_Though, it only seemed more and more unlikely as the minutes – turned hours, turned days – go by._

_She_ _**was** _ _being held captive in one of Cadmus' many elusive labs, after all. It would go without saying that Lillian Luthor would no doubt go to great lengths to keep her far less charming side-projects out of prying eyes. Considering how secretive the organisation was, Kara was more than certain that her current location would barely even incur a blip on anyone's radar – including the DEO._

_Not even Superman could save her now._

_But that didn't mean Kara would go down quietly._

_Yes, she would resist them – fight them for every tooth and nail – her lack of powers be damned. She was a trooper. A fighter. A child from the House of El. And she will not surrender until the very end._

_Not to a Luthor, she won't._

_The door to her holding cell swung open._

' _Supergirl.' Lillian Luthor drawled with a sneer, floating in with all the grace of a panther._

' _Lillian Luthor.' Kara spat back through her gritted teeth, past the gravel in her throat._

_The cruel curl of Lillian's lips only grew. 'I'm afraid your days are numbered, Supergirl. While your…_ _**assistance** _ _… may have proven to be useful in the past couple of days…' she trailed on mirthlessly, eyes glinting dangerously under the light. 'Your presence is no longer required.'_

_A snap of her fingers and a quick jerk of her head, sent a rush of burly goons through the doors, storming in to pin Kara down as she writhed and thrashed violently against her restraints with a new burst of vigour, now that her life was clearly at stake._

_Lillian merely watched on in amusement, a scathing smirk on her face, looking fairly pleased with all that's happening at the present moment. She casually turned to look over her shoulder, throwing out another command breezily._

' _Deal with her.'_

_As the tall, imposing stature of Lillian Luthor whisked out of the cell, there stood the smaller, diminutive frame of one Lena Luthor, hovering by the door._

_Her face was grim, and apart from the deep-set frown on her lips, her expression was blank and devoid of any other emotions. Standing there, by the entrance to Kara's cell, she had looked like spectre, almost like a grim reaper of sorts, and when she moved, her heels clicked after her like a death march._

_Then the world faded away when Kara's attention finally zeroed in onto the syringe in her hand. And suddenly, it was all she could see – the foreboding shade of luminescent green swishing about in the vial._

_Liquid Kryptonite._

_Her eyes widened, breaths now coming out in sporadic spurts of wheezing gasps, as she squirmed, kicked and screamed in her last ditch effort to escape, desperate to do anything –_ **anything** at all _– to get herself away from that syringe._

_Pure, unadulterated fear was pulsing through her, beating drums in her ears and when the youngest Luthor stopped right before her with the syringe held overhead, she could feel the familiar sear of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes._

_She looked to Lena imploringly, and noticed for the first time, the soft regret in her eyes._

" _P-Please… don't do this." Kara pleaded, and if she had been paying attention right then, she would have noticed the imperceptible tremor of the Luthor's hand when she lowered the syringe, pressing the flat end of the needle up against the exposed skin of her inner forearm._

" _I'm sorry," Lena whispered._

_And then she pressed down on the plunger, setting Kara's blood aflame._

 

* * *

 

She had survived, though. Having woken up in a daze at the DEO with all sorts of wires and appliances strapped to her body, injured, but still very alive – albeit just barely.

And safe.

Alex had called it all to be a miracle. From the part where the DEO had managed to retrieve her in the nick of time, following after a ground-breaking lead that Winn had managed to pick up with his tech-genius; to the bit in which, the dose for the lethal kryptonite injection she was given had been a microliter short of killing her.

Back then, Kara hadn't thought much of it – not wanting to delve headfirst back into that traumatising experience all over again – and had played it all off to luck, simply happy to be alive and well, and surrounded by her family and friends once more.

But now, looking back, it all feels too much of a coincidence.

Because the one thing Kara knows about the Luthors is that they don't make mistakes. Not ever. Every step and every turn is a calculated move across their convoluted chess set. Nothing is ever done without meaning or purpose.

And that lethal kryptonite injection failing to ultimately kill her?

After her encounter with Lena Luthor tonight, something tells her that it hadn't been just a fluke.

She still vividly remembers the remorse in her eyes from back then, framed by the shadows of guilt. The same pair of eyes that had held nothing but kindness for the mother and child pair from hours earlier.

Lena Luthor is capable of many things. Some of which includes the design and construction of some of the most intricate machinery used by the Luthors. So for her to commit an amateur mistake as simple as mucking up the dosage of a lethal injection is beyond baffling. It's unheard of.

Unless.

Kara sucks in a breath, holding it as her heart stutters for a split of a second. Lying on her back and blinking away in the dark, she takes in the sheer silence – the general quietude – of her room and  lets the startling revelation sink in.

She doesn't dare to think any deeper of it.

But she's not going to deny the possibility either.

That maybe.

_Just maybe._

Lena Luthor did intentionally save her that one time.

Who would have possibly thought that there might be such thing as a good Luthor after all?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love it, hate it? let me know what you think in the comments or come yell at me on tumblr @[frostybwitch](http://frostybwitch.tumblr.com/)


	2. encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One second saw Kara going on about with her mundane routine of picking up her usual coffee order in a trance-like, autopilot kind of state.
> 
> And the next, finds her colliding quite bodily up against a decidedly female stranger after a particularly sharp turn away from the counter, inevitably spilling her coffee everywhere but herself. Super quick Kryptonian reflexes be damned.

The next time Kara meets Lena Luthor, it's on far less amicable terms – with them standing on opposing ends of the playing field.

"Oh how nice of you to drop by, Superman!" Lex Luthor crows animatedly, as soon as the Supers had made their presence known from their – quite literally – earth-shattering entrance through the roof.

Standing in his Armani-tailored suit, he is every bit as Kara remembers him to be. Tall, broad-shouldered and clean-shaven, and while he might be somewhat lacking in the hair department, he is still undeniably striking with his chiselled profile and angular features – handsome, albeit in the roguish sense.

He saunters over towards them with large open arms, a swagger of arrogance to his steps. Though he doesn't exactly quite follow through with his gesture, stopping with a good fair amount of distance between them. He drops his arms, turns it into deafening clap and looks between the two cousins, a twist of a disarming smile on his lips.

But the wild glint in his eyes says otherwise.

"And I see you brought your dear ole' cousin with you too."

Standing beside her, Kal stiffens, and bites out a stilted growl, "Lex."

The Luthor heir laughs, booming laughter bouncing off the walls of his secret warehouse. He raises his hands in mock surrender. "Now, now, my old friend. There's no need to get so testy."

Considering the fact that this isn't exactly Kara's first rodeo with the infamous Lex Luthor, it's easy to tune out the dramatics that roll in soon after. Unlike Lillian, whose approach is far more methodical and straight to point, Lex has always been a little more inclined for the theatrics, wanting to draw things out as long as he can with his twisted mind games and smooth talk – which Kara supposes is probably where his narcissism shines the brightest. Though, it is also what makes him the most unpredictable amongst the Luthors, and also hardest to deal with.

Keeping half an ear out on Kal and Lex' back and forth banter, Kara finds her attention waning as her eyes begin to wander. And it is right about then does she catches sight of a familiar mop of dark hair peeking from behind a computer in an obscured corner, not too far off from the ongoing confrontation.

Lena Luthor.

She watches her for a moment. Watches as she works away at her computer, fingers flying across the keyboard, typing furiously at a relentless pace with her brows furrowed in concentration. Her eyes are a steely shade of green, blank and otherwise, detached, devoid completely of the playful warmth they had once held a few moons back at the supermarket, and if she had noticed the presence of the two Supers, she certainly didn't show.

It's almost strange to see her look the way she is now, hair all pulled back into a sophisticated bun without a single strand out of place and lips, painted a dark cherry red, with a sleek black business blazer hanging primly off her shoulders; when Kara has gotten so used to seeing her all dressed down in some scruffy oversized sweatshirt or hoodie and a dirty old pair of vans, hair haphazardly tossed up into a messy knot from the few encounters she has had with the youngest Luthor.

Yes, as it turns out, the supermarket (the one that's three blocks down Kara's apartment) is a frequent haunt of a certain Luthor, and she has spotted her leisurely going down an aisle, perusing the back labels of various food products with a shopping basket at hand more than thrice now.

And there had even been a minor run-in, involving a loaf of bread, wherein, as luck would have had it, they had coincidentally reached out for the same object once again.

_('At least this time there's one for each of us.'_ Kara remembers Lena saying, albeit with an amused chuckle and a smile, as she offers the loaf of bread to Kara before slipping one into her basket for herself. _)_

But apart from that, their interactions have been kept mostly to the bare minimum – a simple nod or a smile whenever they pass each other by. And if Kara were to dare say it, they might even be acquaintances at this point.

However, looking at Lena now, it's almost hard to believe that this is the same person from before – the very same person who had been all smiles and nothing but kind to a child wanting the last tub of ice cream in the freezer box.

Because right now, sitting there in her chair with her back ramrod straight and posture nothing short of impeccable, Lena is the very image of cold hard professionalism at its prime. A _**Luthor**_ in every sense and word.

"Well, enough of the pleasantries. As much as I would love to stay and chat with you all day," Lex drawls, the deep baritone of his voice snapping Kara out of her inattention.

He turns on his heels, and proceeds to languidly amble further into his warehouse, footsteps echoing after him, almost forebodingly. And when he pivots to look over his shoulder, there's a distinct crazed look to his eyes.

"I'm afraid that time is of the essence."

He sneers, lips pulling back into a warped, twisted grin. "Ever wonder what's the physical limitation of a God? Just how far would you push yourself to save the precious people of Metropolis _**and**_ National City? Well, let's find out."

He snaps at his fingers and signals over to Lena by the computer, who shoots to her feet with a final push of a button, eliciting a loud, ear-piercing hiss from the walls and the roof. And before either Super can react, the warehouse is flooded with a thick noxious gas that brings them to their knees, doubling over, gasping and choking for air.

Kryptonite laden gas. Of course. She should have expected no less from a Luthor.

Kara wheezes, struggles to take in what little oxygen she can against her lungs, that feel very much like it's collapsing on itself, and the mind-numbing pain – like fire coursing through her veins. With what little strength she's left and all the willpower that is imbued in her, she forces herself to raise at her head, squinting at the outline of the two Luthors through the fog that is only starting to clear.

"Two bloodthirsty aliens have been set to wreck some havoc in the city square of both Metropolis and National City. While they might not be of your calibre, they can and will cause quite a bit of collateral damage if left unchecked."

Before them, stands Lex Luthor, tall and proud with his hands in his pockets in all of his glory, his hulking frame towering over the two Supers.

In the meanwhile, his sister – Lena – merely lingers behind him like a shadow, face blank and impassive, gaze pointed to the space in front of her stoically, not staring at anything in particular as Kara tries to catch her eye to no avail.

He turns his nose up at the both of them, a clear look of derision on his face.

"Tick. Tock."

With a final condescending sneer, Lex plunges a couple digits into his phone as the earth begins to tremble beneath them, splitting and forming an entrance to an underground lift – a means of escape.

"Lena," he calls out, beckoning his sister over with a slight tilt of the head. "Watch your step." He points out quietly, voice a touch tad softer – tender – than Kara is used to, with a hand pressed protectively against the small of Lena's back as he gently guides her onto the platform. And judging from the context, it's probably words not meant to be overheard, but Kara hears it all the same anyway.

It still doesn't make him any less of a Big Bad, caring elder brother or not.

She gazes weakly after the retreating form of the youngest Luthor, whom have not once looked her way since the very start of their altercation, and thinks back to their brief encounters – to the time back at Cadmus' lab with the lethal injection, to the polite fight at the supermarket with the ice-cream and the child, to right this very instant.

And all Kara can wonder is:

_**Why?** _

 

* * *

 

Lena Luthor disappears following after their skirmish at Lex' secret warehouse.

And if Kara hadn't known any better, she would have thought that the woman had dropped off the face of the earth for good.

There had been no news of her in the press. No further appearances on talk shows, TED conferences or gala fundraisers. No features in the latest magazines, whatsoever. Nothing.

Not that any of this information should be new or alarming, of course. Lena Luthor _**is**_ well known for her constant disappearing acts after all; or at least that is what Kara keeps telling herself. Because what does indubitably unsettles her, is that she doesn't even show up at their usual supermarket anymore.

Every Wednesday and Tuesday. Twice a week, at eight in the evening. She'd usually be there with a shopping basket over the crook of her arm, dressed as casually – as sloppily – as the next college-age student in the store.

Not that Kara has her shopping schedule memorised down or anything, more like just a casual observation of sorts. (Lies.) But the fact that Lena Luthor hasn't been down to the supermarket in _**months**_ has gotten Kara a little antsy.

Maybe she has swopped her routine around.

Or maybe she just doesn't frequent the same supermarket as Kara does for groceries anymore.

Kara supposes she will never know, and she tries her best not to let that get to her. (It does.)

But as fate would have had it, just as Kara has gotten into thinking that she might probably never see her again – in a casual setting, at least – she eventually does run into her, albeit quite literally, at a little known coffee shop called Noonan's.

One second saw Kara going on about with her mundane routine of picking up her usual coffee order in a trance-like, autopilot kind of state.

And the next, finds her colliding quite bodily up against a decidedly female stranger after a particularly sharp turn away from the counter, inevitably spilling her coffee everywhere but herself. Super quick Kryptonian reflexes be damned.

It didn't even occur to Kara then – to whom she had just bumped into – having been so focused on her blunder, with her eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets at the way her coffee is starting to seep through into the sheer expanse of the expensive-looking silk blouse set before her, no doubt belonging to someone important.

Boy, will she be even considered lucky if the dry-cleaning fee for that blouse turned out to only cost her a month's salary than say, an entire fortune. But either way, it's time to bite the bullet and face the music once and for all.

Swallowing dryly, Kara plucks up her courage and steels herself, prompting herself to raise her head and look up, only to find herself staring straight into the depths of an all-too familiar pair of viridian green eyes – and _oh_.

It's _**her**_.

For brief moment, Kara could hardly believe her eyes, the irrational part of her insisting that she's staring at a ghost.

Because there she is. After five months of complete radio silence and nothing.

Lena Luthor.

In the flesh.

And before Kara can drink the sight of her in properly, her eyes happen to drift down lower, right below her neckline to the growing stain across her chest – and oh.

_**Oh.** _

She panics.

Hence, after a torrent of apologies later, followed by some frantic fussing to salvage the situation, finds the two of them huddled away in the tiny washroom of Noonan's, standing over an open sink.

"I, uh, really, _**really**_ am sorry about everything." Kara mumbles abashedly, just barely loud enough to be heard over the rush of running water.

She's pretty sure that this is the hundredth time she's saying this, but just like all the other times she'd apologised, the Luthor merely laughs it off with a careless shrug and an amused half-smile.

"Accidents happen." She says, simply, fingers working away at the stain with a damp napkin methodically, leaving Kara to hover by her awkwardly, watching.

She fidgets about with her fingers and shifts her weight back and forth between legs, not entirely sure to what she should be doing now, after having prepped yet another damp napkin for the woman by the sink. It isn't like she could dive right in and help her out with the stain, considering it's precarious location over her rather ample chest.

So instead, Kara opts to make use of the brief lapse of silence to study the Luthor surreptitiously, her eyes scouring over the planes and curves to her face, mapping them out as she silently marvels over the fine work of the woman's features – her high cheekbones and strong jawline. She takes in the elegant bun that is coiled at the back of her head, the powder of foundation and blush on her cheeks and the blood red of her lipstick, painted in bold shades meant to intimidate, and catches her breath when it suddenly hits her then.

Because the only other time she has ever seen Lena looking like this – all dressed to the nines, flawless makeup, heels and all – is during their far less than friendly confrontations when they're both busy playing the role of a cutthroat Luthor and a right-minded Super.

And it's honestly so jarring to see her, standing there in her frigid Luthor attire, talking and smiling at Kara with that gentle warmth to her eye, in the way Kara has only seen her behave in her comfortable, albeit at times shabby-looking clothes at their local supermarket.

It's all feels so bizarre, and maybe in some sense, amusing even. But Kara can't help but find her curiosity piqued – as it has been since the first time she had encountered her at the supermarket.

Just who is Lena Luthor?

And which one of her personas is the real her?

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Kara starts, nearly trips back on her footing, as she clumsily shoves at her glasses, trying to fight down the heat that is steadily creeping up her neck, burning the tips of her ears. "I-I, um–"

Lena laughs, a rich mellow sound that rings like bells in the distance. Really pretty.

"Relax, I'm only teasing." She says, smiling, meeting Kara's sheepish gaze through their reflection in the mirror, green eyes twinkling in mirth.

Turning the faucet off with a quick twist of the wrist, she reels back away from the sink with one last dab at her stain – that honestly looks no better than before with the dark blotch of brown going against all of that white – and straightens her posture, smoothening out her blouse once, twice, maybe thrice.

"This is as far as it would come off, I suppose." She murmurs with a sigh, frowning at herself through her reflection, fingers still rubbing at the eyesore of a stain on her blouse that is completely ruined now, no thanks to Kara.

"I'll pay for it!" Kara pipes in immediately, jumping at the chance to do something – anything – to at least right her wrong somehow. "Your dry cleaning, I mean."

The Luthor turns over at her with an arched brow, looking almost surprised. "This is Gucci, you know that right?"

"I-I, uh…" Kara gulps, staring down at the linoleum-tiled floors of the washroom in nervous contemplation as she worries her lip between her teeth, fingers tugging at a loose thread of her cardigan. And after a moment of careful consideration, she raises her head up with a breath, eyes steeling in wilful resolution. "I'll pay for it."

Lena blinks, and for a second it almost seems like she is taken aback by Kara's answer, staring back at her with something closely akin to amazement and awe, but she quickly reins herself in, regaining her poise with a chuckle and a smile.

"How about…" She drawls, humming, albeit musingly as she leans in a fraction towards Kara. Her eyes are alight with a playful spark, setting sea-green orbs aflame, dancing brilliantly under the light. "You just buy me another cup of coffee?"

"C-coffee?"

"Mmhm, and we'll call it even. Deal?"

"Deal." Kara squeaks, her throat suddenly feeling painfully tight and dry at the way the youngest Luthor is staring her down at the moment, with a kind of glowing intensity that has every intention to smoulder and burn; in which if Kara hadn't known better, she would have thought that Lena may be actually trying to flirt with her.

Blood-red lips curl, its corners slowly twirling into a pleased grin and instinctively, Kara follows after the movement, swallowing.

_Wait._ **Is** _she flirting with me?_

"With that settled, I should probably get going if I want to make it in time for that meeting I have at three." Lena sighs, checking herself in the mirror, with a tug here and there at her ruined blouse. "And probably get myself a new blouse while I'm at it too."

Swiftly swiping her purse off the side of the sink, she turns to Kara pointedly, coquettish smirk in place. "See you around, Miss…"

"Danvers! Kara Danvers."

"Miss Danvers…" Lena tests, letting her name roll off her tongue once, before looking to Kara appraisingly with a strange glint to her eye, but it passes as quickly as the lights that flicker overhead. She flashes Kara a small cordial smile, dipping her head in a polite nod. "Now, if you would excuse me–"

"Wait!

She catches the Luthor as she brushes past her, fingers winding around a dainty wrist in a firm hold, efficiently halting the woman in her steps to manoeuvre across the confined space of the restroom for the exit. A soft, near imperceptible gasp escapes the Luthor briefly, thinly-veiled surprise colouring her features when she swivels to look over at Kara in question.

In one fluid movement, Kara shrugs her pastel-blue cardigan off her shoulders and all but shoves it into Lena's hands. "Take this."

The Luthor blinks, glancing down at the cardigan, then back up at Kara again, brows scrunched in perplexity.

"To, um, last you till you get to the shops?" Kara gestures vaguely to the stain, albeit using herself as a model, and blushes, reaching to awkwardly fiddle with her glasses with an embarrassed cough.

She hadn't meant for it to come out as a question. She really didn't. It just came out as one before she can even stop herself. Because for the life of her, there's just something about Lena Luthor that greatly flusters her to no end, and Kara blames it all on her attractive face and gorgeous green eyes.

The Luthor makes for a soft contemplative hum, fingers clenching and unclenching around the fabric of Kara's cardigan tentatively, and finally, with a faint smile, she reaches to fit her arms through said-cardigan.

"Thank you." She says quietly, wholeheartedly, running her touch along the sides of the cardigan to ease out any wrinkles. "It's perfect."

Kara grins, preening just a little, glad to finally be of some kind of service.

While the cardigan might seem a little out of place, with its vibrant hue standing out amidst the rest of the Luthor's monochromatic business-formal attire, it's still provides a fairly nice touch – a softer, much endearing one, as Kara would reckon. And it's almost serves as a reminder to her that this is the very same CFO who does her grocery shopping in sweatshirt and jeans, with hair looking like it hasn't been washed for days. The version of Lena that she very much prefers.

With a final check in the mirror, she tosses Kara a grateful smile over her shoulder and leaves the restroom in a breeze, leaving Kara to stare after her with a small – dare she say, dopey – smile.

Though it's only when she's seated comfortably back at her desk at CatCo that it suddenly dawns on her.

That she has no real way to contact Lena Luthor for that cup of coffee.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow, colour me surprise. i really did not expect to receive this much love for this story. but nevertheless, im really grateful for all the wonderful support – in the form of comments and kudos – so far. hopefully I haven't lost any of you with this chapter, haha. but anyway, much love to all of you, and do stay tune for the next chap. xox.


	3. in hindsight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena saunters in forward, just a hair off treading into Kara's personal space.
> 
> "Are you…" She drawls, sultrily, in the way that Kara has to suck in a breath to keep herself from going weak in the knees. "By any chance, asking me out on a date, Miss Danvers?"

Their next run-in doesn't come till much later in the month; which is honestly a fair bit too long to Kara's liking, especially after the way they had left things off the last time – with a promise for coffee and no proper means of contact. It had very much left her in a constant state of unrest as a result. A constant state of wondering and pondering to when (not if) they would meet again, and it all manages to bleed into her daily activities.

She finds herself craning her neck out more now, consciously searching through faces in crowds, in hopes to catch a sight of a familiar mop of dark hair and green eyes. Though, her efforts are mostly in vain, considering that the Luthor will only be found when she wants to be found, as how it usually is.

Lena Luthor finds her, and not the other way around.

So Kara waits. Twiddles her thumbs and waits. Tries hard not to think about the _**when**_ , and how it evokes this strange flutter to her chest, and waits.

Then comes a seemingly typical Wednesday evening at their local supermarket, where all her waiting finally sees to fruition.

Grocery Night.

While most might consider the whole notion of grocery shopping to be as mundane and dull as the next mind-numbing chore, to Kara, it's one of the few greater things in life. The act of buying food. To produce _**more**_ delicious mouth-watering food. The concept of it is simply genius. Magical.

As compared to the manufactured ways of acquiring sustenance back in Krypton – with a simple push of the button. Food just came to be. There had been no preparation. No behind-the-scenes cooking, whatsoever. It's just what it is. Sustenance to survive. Based off the Kryptonian utilitarian standards of complete efficacy.

Now _**that**_ is mundane.

And then there's the concept of junk food too, or what Kara fondly refers to as humanity's greatest invention of all time. Ice-cream, chocolate, cookies and potato crisps. She never had that back in Krypton. And when she finally had a go at it for the first time on Earth, it had been love at first taste, and there was no coming back from that afterwards.

Which hence, finds Kara doing her rounds down her favourite aisle – the confectionery aisle – where she wastes no time in demolishing the shelves, shoving all of her much loved snacks into the growing pile of her shopping trolley without so much of a second thought. Just because she can – as she would frequently rub it in Alex' face. Kryptonian metabolism and all.

Like a shark out for blood, her eyes zeroes in onto the neatly stacked Mars bars on the shelf, where right by its price-tag screams the word – in large, red blocky letters – 'sale'. Without a second to waste, Kara dives right in.

And it's purely all fun and games for her until the Mars bar she had been reaching out for gets swiped away right before her very eyes.

Oh, then things start to get a _teensy_ bit personal.

Feeling distinctly outraged and scandalised by the audacity of this very stranger, she turns over sideways sharply, ready to give her perpetrator a good piece of her mind as her eyes narrow down into the dirtiest, nastiest glare she could muster and–

"I believe someone still owes me a cup of coffee."

–and her breath hitches in throat with a soft gasp at the sight of familiar viridian green staring right back into her own pair of baby blues, twinkling with its usual spark of mirth.

Lena.

And like all the other times they had chanced upon each other at the supermarket, she's in her usual sweater and jeans getup, with the only exception being that her hair is down this time, albeit slightly mussed up and tousled in the way that is highly suggestive that she had just gotten up from lying down for long periods of time. Bed hair, as some would call it. Though, Kara finds it especially becoming – almost endearing – on the woman.

"Looks like you're a _**wee**_ bit too slow this time," the woman laughs, eyes flashing brightly at Kara, filled with playful tease.

She wags the Mars bar in her hand. "Miss Danvers." She says, her greeting rolling off smoothly in deep velvet tones. With just the barest tilt of the head, and a killer smile fixedly in place, she is no doubt the picture of a devastating beauty.

Kara blinks, tries her best not to flounder and gape, but ends up squeaking out her response all the same.

"H-hey."

And she has never cringed so hard at herself before in her life, kicking herself a million times over for stuttering over something as simple as a 'hey'.

She is _**Supergirl**_ , for crying out loud.

The Luthor merely raises a brow at her in turn, amusement twirling the corners of her lips. Kara can feel the weight of her green stare bearing down on her, watching her intently as she coughs and straightens at her spine, regaining what's left of her poise without actually succumbing to the urge to blush.

"I'm sorry again about the other time." Kara swallows, gesturing awkwardly with her fingers. "You know, with the coffee and all."

"It's fine, no harm done." Lena assures airily, waving Kara off with a good-natured smile and a flippant shrug.

As if Kara hadn't completely ruined a blouse that may have worth enough to pay off a struggling student's tuition fee.

Freaking Gucci.

"And I should probably thank you for your cardigan too. Which is still with me, by the way. It lasted me well enough for me to get to the shops. Really comfy. So thank you again for that."

"It was the least I could do."

And this time, Kara does end up blushing, albeit faintly. She pushes at her glasses – a knee-jerk response to her getting flustered once more – and smiles sheepishly back at the Luthor who's gazing at her warmly with something closely akin to appreciation in her eyes.

Silence falls upon them briefly, having reached the point wherein their small talk and pleasantries have begun to peter out into polite smiles and bashful glances at one another, both not quite wanting to end the conversation, yet not knowing how else to proceed on further from that.

"You know, my place is actually pretty nearby." The young CFO begins all so very abruptly after a beat, her voice a low, buttery drawl.

She gazes, almost coyly, up at Kara through her fluttering lashes and draws her bottom lip between her teeth – a movement that Kara can't help but follow with her eyes. But when the seemingly subtle implication behind the Luthor's words finally sinks in, she finds herself backtracking and reeling away so quickly that she isn't even sure if she had just exposed herself with her possible use of super-speed.

Because for a second there it sure sounded like she had just been propositioned by Lena Luthor.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out that way." Lena laughs, catching on quickly from Kara's deeply reddening cheeks and her wide-eyed, shell-shocked look. "I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to drop by real quick so I can hand you back your cardigan."

"Oh." Kara breathes, shoulders sagging slightly.

"Why, is that disappointment I hear?"

"W-what? No!"

"So quick to deny. I must really be that unattractive to you, huh."

"I-I didn't say that!"

"No?"

"No! W-wait, I mean yes… No! Ugh, I don't know."

Lena only laughs a little harder at that, eyes brimming full of merriment and cheeks bursting with a large toothy grin. It's clear that she's enjoying getting a rise out of Kara.

"Don't beat yourself up over this. I'm only kidding."

"Of course you were."

Kara frowns, though from the way her lips are pursed, cheeks puffed almost indignantly, it would have come across more as a pout than anything else.

The Luthor bites back on a chuckle, shaking her head in amusement. "So what's it going to be? Do you want to come by or not?" She lifts a perfectly arched brow at Kara, the lines of her laughter still evident on her face, and it makes Kara huff a little. "I promise I'll stop with the teasing."

She sends her a pointed look, which softens considerably at the sight of said-woman smiling back at her, lips curled blithely and eyes alight with a gentle glow. There's something about the way she carries herself at the moment – the way she's able to throw her head back and smile and laugh so freely in all of that carefree abandon – that Kara finds to be extremely alluring. Refreshing. She forgets that she's a Luthor for a split second.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

"Great!" Lena echoes, appearing to be genuinely thrilled at Kara's reply with the glow in her eyes burning a tad brighter; the smile on her lips splitting just a little wider, revealing rows of perfectly straight teeth. "I've a little more shopping to do so I'll meet you outside in say… fifteen minutes or so?"

Kara nods, smiling. "See you in fifteen."

A wiggle of her fingers and dip of her head later, sees Lena breezing past her gracefully with her shopping basket on arm, and just like how their encounters normally play out, Kara watches her go.

Though, right before the young CFO makes around the bend, she turns to look over her shoulder with a devilish smirk.

"Catch."

Super-quick Kryptonian reflexes coming into play, Kara instinctively makes for a wild grab at the blur hurtling towards her, and finds herself cradling a Mars bar – the very same one that had been taken out of her reach by the Luthor from before – to her chest.

Bemused and perplexed by this, she glances up, expecting an explanation of sorts.

Only to find that Lena Luthor is no longer there.

 _Huh_.

 

* * *

 

Standing aside as she awaits for Lena to unlock the door to her apartment with a quick fiddle of the keypad next to it, Kara begins to think through her actions a little more carefully, the reality of her current situation settling solidly over her shoulders.

Okay, so maybe in hindsight, following a _**Luthor**_ – of all people – back to their apartment isn't exactly the wisest of ideas.

For all she knows, she may be walking straight into a death trap, lured in by the beguiling smiles and fluttering lashes of the young female Luthor before her. And into the lion's den she goes, like an unsuspecting little lamb. Such is how she'll meet her end and her ultimate demise.

But could anyone really blame Kara?

Lena has been nothing short of nice to her so far. Cheeky, vague and at times, a tiny bit flirtatious, but still nice. She doesn't think she has ever detected any hint of malice from her before. Not even during their… less than friendly confrontations. It's honestly hard to think someone as evil when all you've seen them be is nothing but kind.

And while that may not seem like a lot, it has definitely proven her worthy enough to earn Kara's trust. Or at least somewhat.

"Here we go."

The door swings open with a final beep as Lena wafts right into her apartment, groceries in tow, albeit not without courteously holding the door out for Kara, who shuffles past the threshold with a tentative step forward.

With all that talk about death traps and evil Luthors, Kara had been mentally steeling herself for the worse case scenario of possibly walking into a travesty of a home – of a place that is cold and bleak. Something straight out of horror flick, like gothic palace with dangling shackles and dried bloodstains for decoration, take for example.

But looking at it now, the place is everything and nothing Kara could ever imagine. It really isn't so much of an evil Luthor lair than it is – just a humble living space. One that is warm and vibrant, filled with shelves after shelves of books, and a cosy-looking lounge with some quaint art decoration hung up at a random corner or two.

It would also appear that a makeshift work area has been established in the heart of the lounge too. Whereby, littered across the coffee table are essentially stacks and mountains of papers – documents of the important kind – and files. Heaps and tons of files. Some barely hanging off its hinges at the edge of the table. And sitting in the centre of it all, is one open laptop, with a stained coffee mug to its side.

"I hope you don't mind the mess. I wasn't really expecting to have any guests today."

Comes Lena's half-hearted explanation as she bustles way over to the kitchen island. She drops off her bags of groceries with a short huff, leaving Kara behind in the lounge to drink in her new environment in quiet awe.

You would think that for someone who'd possessed as much wealth as Lena, she would be living in the lap of luxury. Maybe in an opulent penthouse of sorts with high-reaching ceilings, Versace designer furniture and full-length glass windows that provide for a killer view overlooking the city.

But no.

As lavish as the condo had appeared to be on the outside, most of the furnishing on the inside is surprisingly modest. Simple even. The kind that you'd find in any other Ikea store from across the country.

"Do you want anything to drink? Coffee, tea, water?"

Kara shakes at her head, finally tearing her gaze away from her scrutiny of Lena's apartment to veer her attention back onto the young Luthor. She looks to her searchingly, curiosity now thoroughly stoked.

Just who is Lena Luthor, really?

"No, I'm good, thank you."

"In that case…"

The Luthor rounds around the bend of her kitchen island, coming up to the front as she props a hip up against it, folding her arms soundly across her chest. "I prefer my coffee black, thank you." She says, with a wickedly roguish grin curling off the ends of her lips.

Kara blinks, nonplussed.

"Excuse me?"

"You do still owe me coffee, remember?"

"I–I… What?"

A soft muted 'thump' resounds in the far distance, and it takes Kara a belated second to dimly recall the bags of groceries she had in a grasp, which has now fallen to the ground by her feet.

The smirk on the Luthor's face only grows as she watches Kara fumble to get a grip of herself, albeit in a rather clumsy attempt. And Kara's is starting to think that she gets a kick out of rattling her on purpose.

"The coffee maker is where it is on the counter," Lena starts off breezily, though there's an underlying hint of authority hidden away in her voice that the personal assistant in Kara quickly latches on to.

She languidly pushes off from the counter, and immediately Kara is on the move, hurrying over to fall in step beside her.

"The grounds should be in a jar right by it and the mugs are up on the shelf to the left. I trust that you know how to work a coffee maker?"

"Yes." Kara answers without missing a beat, righting her spine with a quick fiddle of her glasses. She gets the vague impression of stepping into the shoes of Cat's assistant all over again, and wonders if this is how Lena is at the office. All power and intimidation.

A taste of the infamous Luthor arrogance.

"Perfect," grins Lena broadly, looking thoroughly pleased. "Let me go grab you your cardigan and I'll be back in a few."

"Perfect." Kara parrots, for lack of anything better to say.

With an amused chuckle, the Luthor then disappears off into the hallway of her home as Kara sets off to work without a moment's hesitation.

A deal _**is**_ still a deal, after all.

She pads around the fairly ordinary kitchen, briefly getting herself accustomed to the layout of the place while she gathers the items required for the task. Idly, Kara wonders if Lena uses some kind of exquisite coffee grounds.

Nope. Just some off the shelf regular old coffee that's not even worth mentioning. How typical.

Flipping the switch on for the coffee maker, all that's left is for the coffee to brew, and she does away with the time with a quiet hum to herself to keep herself entertained.

It's probably about then does Kara hear the unmistakable rumble of a chuckle from behind her. Amidst her extremely keen sense of hearing and the relative silence in the kitchen, the abruptness of the sound had caught her completely off guard, scaring the soul of her as she gives a violent start, whipping around sharply and nearly knocking over the mug by the counter in the process.

Standing right behind the kitchen island is none other than Lena herself, looking entirely tickled by Kara's display, if the mirthful smile on her face is anything to go by.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She apologizes, though not without a quiet laugh. "I just… I just can't help but find this whole situation a little amusing."

At Kara's raised brow, she merely chuckles and shakes at her head, stepping around the island to face Kara properly.

" _ **You**_ , of all people, standing in _**my**_ kitchen. Pouring _**me**_ a cup of coffee." She gestures with her hands, a humorous, yet knowing glint to her eye as she watches Kara pours her said-coffee. "It must be a cold day in hell." She chuckles wryly, sighing softly to herself.

"You know." Kara says, with a breath. And it's honestly more of a statement – a point of observation – than an actual accusation.

Lena doesn't respond, only opting to smile cryptically at Kara. Though, that is enough of an answer for Kara.

"And you've known for quite some time now, haven't you?"

The smile on her face doesn't falter, but when she drops her gaze to sidle up into the high stool by the kitchen island, Kara thinks she might have caught a shadow of melancholy behind it just then.

"It's not exactly an easy feat," Lena begins, quietly, green eyes taking up on a wistful quality once she settles herself comfortably in her stool. "To forget the eyes of those who had once lain at your feet, begging you for mercy."

Her shoulder sags, the burden of the world weighing off of her shoulders in an enormous, silent sigh, and when she finally glances up at Kara, all she can see is this deep unending sorrow buried deep behind the green of her eyes. In that precise moment, she had looked so much like a war-torn soldier just sitting there – weary and so full of regrets.

Kara thinks that this might be her first real glimpse at the true Lena Luthor, as tiny as that window is. It makes her wonder just how much blood she had spilt; just how sullied her hands are with the murders she had committed under the name and title of being a _**Luthor**_.

"But you saved me."

"I did."

"Why?"

Lena smiles then, a tiny rueful smile; one that is almost heart-wrenching to see.

"Would you have believed me if I were to tell you that I only did what I'd thought was the right thing to do?"

Staring up into green depths, all there is in them, is genuine sincerity, laid out bare before her, and Kara thinks back to all of their encounters, each one of them playing out in her head – the things Lena had said, the acts of kindness she has shown. And she can only come to one conclusion.

"Yes," Kara says, voice barely above a whisper, eyes never once straying from the woman before her. "Yes, I would." She repeats herself, with a little more conviction this time, and watches the way Lena glows at that, a brilliant smile lighting across her face.

It's a pretty sight, one that Kara savours with a smile of her own as she watches the way the light dances away in her green eyes, unbidden and free. It's all so very enchanting, and for the life of Kara, she can't bring herself to look away.

So maybe, they spend the next minute or two in comfortable silence, simply soaking in the preciousness – the fragility – of the moment. It's almost hard to ignore it at this point. The headiness in the air as their gazes remain firmly fixed on one another, growing heavier and heavier with… _**Something**_. And Kara wonders if Lena feels it too. This powerful allure. The gravity between them that inevitably draws them to one another.

The moment probably would have lasted on forever. Where finally, Lena breaks away after a couple of flustered blinks, dropping her gaze with a bashful smile and an embarrassed cough while Kara fumbles to fetch her the promised cup of coffee, movements unusually awkward and gangly.

And just like that, the spell over them is lifted.

"You make a surprisingly good cuppa." Lena remarks a moment after sipping at the freshly fragrant dark brew, looking fairly impressed.

Kara preens.

"I owe it to Alex. My, uh, adoptive sister. She takes her coffee black too. Don't know how you guys do it, though."

"Can't handle a little bit of bitterness, _**Supergirl**_?" Lena quips, voice playfully mocking as her eyes sparkle with that usual hint of tease. She swirls at her cup of coffee pointedly.

Kara laughs, and waves her off carelessly.

"I'm more of a cream and sugar kind of girl myself. Though I should have expected no less from a _**Luthor**_ – black coffee and all."

Now, that earns her a chuckle and an undignified snort. "Oh, you flatter me."

With that, their banter closes off with a brief moment of shared laughter, and it's almost a strange sight to behold. Because who would have believed it?

A Super standing in a Luthor's kitchen, having a relatively friendly exchange of jibes and snark without a single trace of animosity or the intention to tear each other's throats out. It's almost unconventional. A paradox. And it's fresh and new and oh, so refreshing that Kara can't help but find humour in their current situation.

But alas, all good things must come to an end.

"I should probably get going." Kara mentions, after putting on an obvious show of checking her phone for the time and making a move off from leaning against the counter.

Now that the cat is finally out of the bag and friendly relations have been established between them, she's not about to go pushing at the boundaries so soon by overstaying her welcome, as much as she would love to stay and chat for a little longer.

Ever the gracious host, Lena walks her to the door.

"Your cardigan," she offers, just as it suddenly occurs to Kara. So wrapped up with the issue of keeping to their deal and the coffee, she had completely forgotten about the whole purpose of her visit.

And with this finally in her possession…

She runs an absent finger along the trim of her cardigan, standing lingeringly by the open door.

"I want to see you again." Kara ends up blurting before she can even stop herself.

She had no idea where on earth that came form. Just that the brief thought had spontaneously materialised in her head, and she had been compelled by this strange urge. The next thing she knows, the words have already travelled past her lips to hang thickly in the air between them with no point of return.

"Wh-what I meant to say is." Kara clears her throat awkwardly, backtracking. "Let me take you out for lunch. Or coffee. Whichever works better for you, just so I can make it up to you properly next time." She nods to herself, satisfied by how that probably came off sounding. Friendly and platonic.

Though, when she chances a peek up at the Luthor only to be greeted by an arched brow and an impish smirk, something tells her that she had inevitably dug her own grave.

Lena saunters in forward, just a hair off treading into Kara's personal space.

"Are you…" She drawls, sultrily, in the way that Kara has to suck in a breath to keep herself from going weak in the knees. "By any chance, asking me out on a date, Miss Danvers?"

Kara chews at her lip, in her vain attempt to still her racing heart, and prays to Rao that she isn't looking anything like an unattractive giant tomato at this very juncture. She purses her lips and rights herself a little straighter to tower an inch or two over the Luthor, trying to muster up her confidence – or more like her inner Supergirl.

"Maybe?"

Lena holds her gaze for a long excruciating second, unflinching and unreadable, and right when Kara is starting to think that she may have read into it all wrongly, she draws back with a laugh, green eyes sparkling brightly under the light.

"Lunch sounds good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

With that, finds themselves in another short lapse of silence, with Kara grinning away dopily at Lena and Lena smiling just as sweetly back.

Not wanting a repeat of her mistake – of forgetting to get her number, only to realise it a little far too late – Kara whirls around sharply with barely a half step out of the door.

"Oh, and–"

"–Here's my personal number." Lena says smoothly, reaching in towards Kara with a pen as she scribbles a set of digits across her forearm.

Looks like she had been thinking the same thing too.

Capping her pen with an audible click, she falls back away from Kara with a wink and a charmingly devilish grin.

"Feel free to contact me whenever for 'lunch', Miss Danvers."

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's another chapter down. Hope I didn't fool anyone of you into thinking that this story is going to be all fluff and rainbows. Cos it's not. Well, at least not for another chapter or so. Just enjoy the fluff while it lasts. In the mean time, thank you all for the kind comments and the kudos. Much love xox.


	4. the calm before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, I was actually pretty disappointed. You never did call.”
> 
> Kara sputters, nearly loses her grip over her pen. A familiar heat sears at her skin, starting from the base of her neck and slowly creeping up to her cheeks.
> 
> “Oh, I uh…” She stalls, her eyes darting, falling onto everything and anything that isn’t the woman behind the desk. “I might have lost your number.” She admits in a tiny voice.

She doesn’t end up calling Lena.

Because just as every single cliché in the book would have had it, Kara loses her number.

Though, it’s most certainly inevitable – as it is unfortunate – that she had to be caught up in a brawl against some rampaging alien downtown, no less than minutes after her visit to Lena’s place. It’s honestly times like this that she can’t help but curse the sporadic nature of her world-saving gig. But it’s really not like the city can choose when exactly it needs her help – or that she can choose not to heed it either.

She supposes that Lena’s number must have rubbed off somewhere along in the fight, because by the time she was done subduing the threat and had glanced down at her arm, the number had already been smudged beyond belief. No one can blame her for being a tad rougher with aforementioned alien when taking them back to the DEO afterwards.

The next hour or so was then spent on trying to decipher what’s left of the black streaks on her forearm. Which saw Kara sitting alone in her bedroom, holding her arm up close to the light and squinting like her life depended on it. She had tried using her x-ray vision, and even her super sight to look down into every single pore of her skin that had been stained with ink, and still came up with nothing.

Nothing.

But at least, if it’s any consolation, she now knows where Lena lives; which is merely two streets down from her own apartment. Not that it actually matters at this point. As if knowing where she lives could somehow – magically – get Kara her number back on her arm.

And no. She is not about to go flying back to Lena’s place just to get her number either. Because that would be pathetic.

Eventually, she resigns herself to her fate that maybe – ****_maybe_**** – she isn’t meant to have lunch with Lena after all.

A Super and a Luthor.

It’s probably too good to be true anyway.

She tries not to let herself ponder too hard over just what Lena might think of her not calling. Would she be upset? Disappointed? Or maybe she’d be apathetic over the whole matter. Who knows. Kara can only hope that things wouldn’t be too awkward the next time they meet.

And so, life goes on.

“Hey, Ponytail!”

Kara freezes on instinct, spinning around only to be greeted by the permanent scowl of one Snapper Carr. He breezes past her heedlessly upon meeting her eye, though at this point, she knows fair well that it’s cue for her to fall in step beside him.

“I have an assignment for you.” He mutters, in his usual uninterested grumble of a voice, when they get to his desk.

At that, Kara immediately perks up, unable to contain her excitement. “Really?”

He sends her a pointed look that causes her to deflate a little. Only a little. She has long grown accustomed to his ill temper and glowers at this point, a fact that she relishes and one that he despises thoroughly.

“I don’t know how informed you are, but there’s been a newly established company in National City by the name of LCorp.”

And if the announcement of Kara getting a new assignment hadn’t gotten her full attention before, this new titbit of information definitely did. She straightens at her spine, eyes narrowing in all seriousness as her lips presses into a firm line.

“LCorp? As in–”

“–Yes, yes. If you haven’t already picked it out from ‘L’ in LCorp, it’s a subsidiary company to LuthorCorp of Metropolis, and by default – the sister company to LexCorp.” Snapper nods, fanning her off brusquely with a careless wave of the hand.

He sets and drops a small stack of articles onto his desk, spreading it across his desk’s surface with a small flourish. Kara sucks in a breath, recognition flooding her as soon as she catches sight of the strikingly familiar face that is strewn across all of articles like a recurring theme.

“And pulling at its reins as the company’s CEO, is none other than the elusive Lena Luthor, herself. No surprise there.”

Gingerly, Kara holds up one of the articles, fingers absently gliding across its glossy veneer. It’s a candid shot of Lena brisking past and away into the glass doors of a tall, albeit posh-looking building. Her face is unsmiling, just as her green eyes are cold and impassive, looking every bit like a Luthor brood in that high and regal way they’re known to carry themselves. Very unlike the visage Kara remembers of her.

It’s been barely a week since she had last a saw her and she definitely hadn’t count on running into her any time soon.

But she supposes fate works in funny ways.

“Not a fan of the Luthors? Me neither.” Snapper remarks curtly, having mistaken Kara’s silence for contempt. “But don’t let that get in the way of your reporting. I want a full unbiased report of her appointment as LCorp’s CEO and the direction she’s going for with her company. I want you to go down there and find out what her true intentions are. Though, knowing the Luthors, it should be anything but good.”

Kara frowns, setting the article of Lena down carefully. Though, the edges of it, where it had been previously under Kara’s grasp, are noticeably wrinkled. If Snapper had noticed, he didn’t say anything, only sipping noisily out of his coffee mug.

“An interview with Lena Luthor has already been set later in the day at two. It was hard enough getting a slot in with her so don’t be late. And whatever you do, don’t botch this up. Take this as a step up from writing all of those fluff pieces you’ve been doing.”

“Understood.” Kara says, already getting herself geared up with a quick swipe of a pen and a notebook off some random’s desk, unable to hide her anticipation and excitement of her first, real assignment.

“Now go make yourself scarce. I don’t want to see the swish of your ponytail anywhere near my desk until you’re done with this assignment.”

 

* * *

 

Lena’s home apartment may have been humble and modest, but the brand new LCorp building is anything but that. Grand, modern and every bit imposing, it towers up high into the skies at what Kara estimates to be about sixty floors or so, with its giant iconic L – for Luthor – logo plastered proudly across its highest point. (Way to count on the Luthors and their need to staunchly proclaim their presence wherever they go.)

And past those sliding glass doors of an entrance, Kara is treated to freshly polished marble floors and an open, just as impressive, lobby with some of the most state-of-the-art security system at its front. All that’s missing is a fancy chandelier hanging off the centre of building to complete the lavishness of the place. Though, Kara supposes it’ll clash with the whole futuristic sort of theme that’s going on with the entire building.

Standing in the centre of it all, in her simple white button-down, chinos and oxfords – an ensemble she had gotten from Target – Kara has never felt more out of place. But if its any consolation, at least the receptionist with the flashy black blazer and immaculate hair had been fairly warm towards her after flashing her press pass and introducing herself.

Quickly afterwards, Kara had been ushered away into a spacious elevator – one that can easily put Cat Grant’s personal elevator to shame – and was promptly sent off to the sixty-third floor, in which she now finds herself at the highest floor of the building, standing before the desk of the final gatekeeper to Lena Luthor’s hold – her personal assistant.

“How may I help you?”

It’s amazing how even when Kara has fought down big burly aliens, twice her size, she still can’t help but feel intimidated by the steely stare of a petite Asian woman behind a desk.

“I’m with CatCo. Magazine,” she swallows nervously, holding up her press pass, “Kara Danvers. I, uh, have an interview with Len–Miss Luthor at two?”

She doesn’t miss the dirty look Lena’s P.A sends her way at her brief stumble with her words. Kara blushes, standing herself a little straighter in response.

“Miss Luthor’s been expecting you.” Lena’s P.A remarks curtly, rising to her feet after quick shuffle of the documents at her desk. “This way, please.”

Without another word, she leads Kara off into hallway, where at the end of it, stands two large, looming doors.

Lena’s office.

A quick rasp against the doors and then Kara’s allowed in, with Lena’s assistant quite nearly slamming the door behind her, jolting Kara a little. And as it would seem that her abrupt entrance had also alerted Lena to her presence in her office.

“Miss Danvers.” Lena breathes, jaw slack with surprise at the sight of Kara standing in her office.

The pen that she has grasped between her fingers falls from her grip, rolling across her desk and the sheets of papers – important offical documents by the look of it – on it. She blinks. Once. Twice. And the look of bewilderment washes off her face as she regains her poise, standing from her plush chair to receive Kara properly.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you.” She says quietly – measuredly.

Kara sends her a sheepish look, tentatively padding her way over to her desk. _Neither was I_. She wants to say, but doesn’t. Her eyes take in the image of Lena by her desk.

Long straight raven hair falling carelessly over her shoulders, cladded in the same stylish black blazer Kara has seen her don a couple of times during their Luthor-Super confrontations, and riding beneath it is a blood-red business blouse. Blood-red like the colour of her lips, it brings out the green of her eyes – the shade of the ocean glistening on sandy white shores on a clear sunny day. And with the sunrays spilling over her in golden hues and the view of the city as her backdrop, she is no doubt a sight for sore eyes. Breathtaking.

She extends a hand out to Kara as soon as she reaches the edge of her desk, a playful smile curling at the corners of her lips. “I’m guessing this isn’t some kind of a social call?”

“Miss Luthor,” Kara smiles, taking her hand in a firm shake, tries to ignore the way their touch seem to linger on for a second more than is required.

Lena chuckles, green eyes sparkling brightly under the light. “Lena, please.” She moves to take her seat back in her chair, just as Kara does the same. “It’s good to see you again, Miss Danvers.”

“Well, if I’m calling you Lena…”

“Kara, it is.” Lena smiles winningly, and Kara tries not to glow at the sound of her name rolling off Lena’s tongue.

The young CEO shifts, lacing her fingers together as her posture straightens in her chair and her smile begins to turn into something that’s more contained – more withdrawn. Immediately, Kara senses the change in the air. Almost as if a switch has been flicked, the ambience surrounding them takes a sudden dive, turning impersonal and professional in a span of seconds.

“So what can I do for you today?”

“I’m here to ask you a couple few things about you and your new company, if you don’t mind.” Kara answers, pointedly drawing out her trusty notebook and pen from her satchel, and settling them down on her lap, pen clicked at the ready.

“Right, the interview.” Lena nods.

She leans languidly back into her chair that creaks beneath her weight and regards Kara for a moment, arms crossed across her chest and a smile twirling at her lips contemplatively.

“I definitely didn’t peg you to be a reporter. Much less, one for CatCo at that too. It’s a publication not known for its hard-hitting journalism. More like high-waisted jeans, yes or no?”

“More or less.”

Lena laughs easily, leaning herself forward in her chair. “Well, shoot away. My time is yours." She says, in an almost half-purr that reverberates through Kara’s body like a pleasant tingle down her spine.

And there’s that smoulder to her eyes again.

In response, Kara quickly drops her gaze to her notebook with all of her pre-constructed questions, willing herself to not get sucked in by Lena and her pretty green eyes so easily. She pushes at her glasses and rights herself properly in her vain attempt to come off as professional as she can.

“Why come to National City? Why not just stay back in Metropolis with the rest of your family and be close to HQ?”

Lena arches a brow at that, looking particularly amused, as well as a fair bit impressed.

“Right off the bat with the hard-hitting questions already, I see.”

“I strive to deliver.” Kara quips back, chin tilted and shoulders squaring in challenge.

That earns her a chuckle from Lena, her gaze warm on Kara.

“I like it here in National City.” She says, quietly, and in the next moment, Kara watches as the corners of her lips fall imperceptibly, her smile turning wistful.

With a soft sigh, Lena swivels in her chair, her body half-angled towards the full-length window behind her as she stares out into city’s skyline with a sad faraway look in her eye.

“Away from all the hustle and bustle that’s known of Metropolis. Away from the epicentre of attention, the drama and the hype. It’s peaceful. Quiet. I feel like I can breathe a little more easily here.”

And it almost sounds like a private admission of sorts. One that is not meant to be publicly written down as quote for an article, but an answer purely for Kara’s ears only – an answer from her heart. Immediately, Kara is taken to the time back in Lena’s kitchen. She had that exact same look on too back then.

That same distant, sorrowful look.

Inwardly, Kara wonders if there’s more to her story of her just getting away from the hubbub of Metropolis.

“So, the move is actually for a personal reason than… a professional one?”

Lena pivots back over to her, and just like that, her brief moment of longing is gone. All trace of melancholy, gone. And it would almost seem as if it didn’t even happen in the first place. But Kara knows better.

“For the most part, yes. And you know how it is with family. Stay too close to one another for too long and you’ll start driving each other up the wall.”

A wry laugh at her own airy jest. But it doesn’t seem like there is a single speck of humour in her eyes.

“Though, I suppose you can also say that I’m here in National City to establish our Luthor roots and to keep our influence as far-reaching as it is.”

Kara catches on to that, eyes narrowing subtly at the woman before her. She taps at her notebook with her pen musingly, frowning.

“When you speak about influence… Immediately, LuthorCorp’s notorious stand against aliens, as well as its anti-alien tech, comes to mind. Will you be promoting such views and technology with LCorp as well?”

Without missing a beat or even batting an eye, Lena proceeds on to explain herself steadfastly, voice calm and pragmatic even when broaching on the more controversial topic of her family’s longstanding enmity towards aliens. Touchy, Kara knows, and as much as she would love to avoid that whole topic all together, it has to be done. (Though a small part of her won’t deny that she’s at least a little bit curious to where Lena stands in all of this – if she is any different from the rest of her family like Kara is starting to think she is.)

“As you would probably know by now, LCorp is a subsidiary of LuthorCorp. And apart for my blood relation with the CEO of LuthorCorp, the two companies are virtually as unrelated as it is. Two separate entities that are completely independent of each other.”

It had all sounded so rehearsed and well structured that Kara has to wonder just how many times over has Lena repeated herself with that same few lines. From the shadow of weariness lurking behind her gaze – probably way more than she would have liked.

“While LuthorCorp’s main focus may be on its anti-alien tech, LCorp’s direction is veered towards a more humanitarian cause – creating tech that will hopefully improve the life of people everywhere in the world. A force for good.”

“So basically, the good cop to LuthorCorp’s bad cop.”

Lena shoots her a wan smile. “If that’s what you want to call it.” She reaches for a device – a remote of some kind – across her desk and pushes at a button, causing the screen by the side of her desk to flicker to life. “Here’s a small preview on what LCorp’s been working on lately. It’s a high-tech sieve that will make water from the ocean drinkable.”

Kara watches on in awe at the short, but extremely impressive demonstration of LCorp’s alleged new tech. She’s not exactly one for the sciences – lies, she would have been the youngest of the science guild if Krypton hadn’t been destroyed – but the clip she’s been shown is convincing enough for her to actually ****_believe_****.

“That’s amazing. But does it actually work?”

“It’s still currently being tested down in the labs, but we’re making great progress with it. As soon as it’s ready and fully functioning, we plan on distributing and making it readily accessible – at a low cost, of course – to the various countries where drinking water is a scarce resource.”

Kara blinks, blown away by the ingenuity of it all.

“I… Wow.”

Lena laughs, head tilting back in amusement, looking particularly pleased with herself. Her green eyes twinkle, almost provocatively at Kara. “Never thought you’d see a day where a Luthor finally does one good deed for the world?”

“No offence, but yeah.” Kara admits softly, pushing at her glasses in a sheepish gesture.

She chances a quick glance up at the young CEO, only to find Lena staring back at her with a rueful smile.

“I know LuthorCorp, and by extension LexCorp too, has created and committed many… unspeakable things.”

She sighs, looking forlornly over to the flashing screen with her latest invention on it. She watches as the clip loops on over and over again, the fluorescent lights of the display dancing across her face, casting shadows beneath her features. It makes her look weary. Tired. Far older beyond her years.

“And I also know that I can’t erase the things we’ve done. But the least I can do is to try to make up for it. ”

Lena turns back over to Kara, fixes her with an unwavering stare. There’s a fire burning in her eyes, a look that Kara recognises – sees it in herself sometimes. An honest-to-god, determination. And it all strikes a little too close to home.

“I’m just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside her family. Do you understand that?”

“Yeah,” Kara nods, meeting her stare head on, matching it with her own fire that is equally unfaltering and earnest in its own ferocity. “I do.”

Their heated gazes remain locked onto each other for a long moment, both refusing to back down when Lena finally relents with a chuckle and a smile.

“You keep surprising me, Miss Danvers.” She says softly, almost musingly.

“Miss Danvers?”

“Kara.” Lena corrects herself. “You’re different. Nothing like your cousin in the way I had first assumed you to be.”

“I can say the same for you too.”

Lena smiles, though this time, it doesn’t reach her eyes. When her gaze flickers down to her hands, a dark look washes past her briefly. But in a blink of an eye, it’s gone. Possibly a trick of the light.

“I suppose that’s all the questions you have for me today?”

Kara nods, beaming brightly. “Yep, thank you for your time, Lena.”

“Anything for you.”

And as Kara begins to gather her notes into her satchel, she could feel the weight of Lena’s gaze, boring a hole into the side of her skull.

“You know, I was actually pretty disappointed. You never did call.”

Kara sputters, nearly loses her grip over her pen. A familiar heat sears at her skin, starting from the base of her neck and slowly creeping up to her cheeks.

She had been hoping that Lena would have glossed over this whole entire issue. Maybe leave it for a later day, but apparently not.

“Oh, I uh…” She stalls, her eyes darting, falling onto everything and anything that isn’t the woman behind the desk. “I might have lost your number.” She admits in a tiny voice.

“Did you?” Lena asks, tone arching – the tease in voice as clear as day – which only serves to fluster Kara further.

She takes in a calming breath, reeling in her nerves.

“There was an emergency with an alien.” She says slowly, thankful that her voice hadn’t betrayed her. “And one thing led to the other… Next thing I know, your number was gone.”

“That is certainly unfortunate.”

Lena makes for a musing hum, tapping at her desk with her fingers as she regards Kara hard and long, expression unreadable.

“Do you like dumplings?”

Kara gasps, perking up at the mention of her favourite food in the entire universe. “Hell yeah, do I.” At Lena’s raised brow, she immediately catches herself. “I mean, who doesn’t like dumplings?”

“In that case…” The tapping of Lena’s fingers increases in its tempo, soaring up to a crescendo when she finally slams down onto her desk with her palm, rising from her plush chair with all the elegance in the world. “I know of a Chinese place nearby with really good dumplings.”

“Oh!” Kara blinks, stumbling out of her seat as it slowly begins to dawn on her. “Wait, so lunch?”

Heels clicking noisily after her, Lena saunters over to the stand with her purse. “Unless you’re planning to take back on your offer, then yes.” She swipes at her purse, throws Kara a smirk over her shoulder. “Lunch.”

Without another word, she makes for a beeline to her door, not giving Kara the chance to flounder for her reply as the Super clumsily hurries to fall in step beside her.

“Oh, except that it’s on me.” She says, glancing at Kara sidelong.

The corners of her lips twitches into her signature tell-tale smirk of mischief.

“I’m still rich.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not too late for a christmas update. (I know I am. Like a day or two late. Depending on your timezone.) But at least this chapter is all done and uploaded, right? But yep, not a lot of fluff for this chapter I'm afraid. Quite a bit of dialogue in this one, mainly to flesh Lena out a little. Is she really as 'good' of a Luthor she appears to be? Things are going to go dooowwwn in the next one. So hopefully that'll get you guys to stay tuned until then. Anyway, much love and a Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all of you readers out there! xoxo.


	5. the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In that very moment, something deep within Kara finally snaps, and all she sees is that one colour and one colour only – red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: dark, disturbing themes ahead.

Lunch with Lena Luthor, despite all of that initial flirting and sexually-charged tension building up between them up to that very point, had surprisingly ended up being much more of a tamed, casual affair than what was initially intended to be – some kind of a nervous first date of sorts.

Not that it was explicitly stated any time that lunch was supposed to be a date, only that it was heavily implied. But knowing Lena and her tendency for being a huge tease, she must have only put it that way to get a rise out of Kara.

And Rao knows she has a knack for doing that.

But anyhow, their conversations, for the most part, were light-hearted and fun, with witty banters sprinkled in between here and there. They spoke about everything and anything under the sun – all except for their alter egos and family, of course. From the string theory of quantum gravity to quantum entanglement itself, to the economy crisis in Greece to what standing dog breed is most likely to conquer the world in the years to come.

It had given Kara quite a bit of an insight – a good grasp – of the person Lena truly is. A shrewd businesswoman. A genius. A flirt. A tease.

A kind soul with a warm heart.

A Luthor.

If there’s anything she had learnt about Lena over lunch, is that she is multi-faceted – and is very much everything yet nothing she appears to be. An enigma, as everyone would call her. But a puzzle to Kara, one that she is determined to solve.

By the end of it all, saw them exchanging numbers; on the account of more future lunch meetups where they can continue their discussion on the pressing possibility of an NSync reunion at greater length.

And this time, fortunately, Kara doesn’t end up losing Lena’s number, with it now carefully stored away in the confines of her phone.

In the weeks to follow, it would soon appear that they have managed to strike up an unlikely friendship of sorts. Where now, bumping into each other at the supermarket is less of a ‘hi-bye’ – a silent nod in your direction, a smile right back at me, and off we go – kind of a thing, and more of a ‘stop-and-chat-and-maybe-even-shop-along-with-you’ thing.

It’s definitely quite a step up from where they’ve first started off. Though, not one that is unwelcoming. It’s nice to shop around with someone else for a change. A little bit of an eye-opener, Kara should say, to the diet of a typical human being. Then again, Lena may not be exactly ‘typical’ in the sense that her shopping basket is almost always filled with those pricey organic food products that no one ever bothers with and greens. Lots and lots of greens.

_(‘Have you ever had a taste of junk food before in your life?’ She had once asked Lena, after a quick glance and a cringe down at her basket filled with nothing but all things healthy and nutritious._

_In Kara’s defense, it was an honest question. But Lena, in turn, merely sent her withering look and a sniff of disdain at the sinfully tall pile of confectionary in her shopping cart._

_‘Hmm, I don’t know, have_ ** **you**** _ever had veggies before in your life?’_ )

Even now, just thinking about it, Kara’s ego is still nursing on that burn that Lena had so intentionally inflicted on her a while ago. But it doesn’t stop her from at least attempting to get Lena to try things that isn’t just purely organic or healthy. So maybe she drops tiny bars of chocolate into her basket when she’s not looking.

And almost as if in retaliation, she finds herself paying for random pieces of vegetables – vegetables that weren’t previously found in her trolley before – at checkout.

Well, at least that’s one way to get Kara to eat her greens.

By forcing her to pay for it with that tiny pay check of her.

(A way that Eliza should never find out.)

Later that night she had sent Lena an image of her eating her much-hated greens for the first time in months.

To which, she had received an image of a half-eaten Snickers bar; that is subsequently followed by a video of Kara blowing raspberry. Which in turn, brought her to the video of Lena flipping her the bird.

An unlikely friendship indeed.

But it works, somehow.

It would also seem that the tentative rise of their given friendship had closed off most of the doors on the romantic overtures of their relationship. Though in saying that, it’s still there in trace amounts – in the charged moments when their gazes happen to get affixed on one another for a second too long than is required and the brief brush of their fingers whenever Kara passes Lena something off from the highest shelf in the supermarket. Moments that are easily glossed over.

(Or so Kara thinks.)

Over time, they had even come up with an easy routine between them.

Lunch on Wednesdays.

Dinner, if Lena’s schedule ends up being too packed for lunch.

And grocery night on Saturday evenings, which sometimes lead to Kara dropping by Lena’s place for an extended cuppa or tea.

For a while, all is good.

But of course, in life, nothing ever comes easy.

And eventually, that blossoming friendship of theirs is put to the test when they’re pitted against each other, forced to step up into the roles of their birthright – as a Super and a Luthor.

 

* * *

 

In true Supergirl fashion, Kara bursts right through the steel doors with a powerful punch, easily tearing them off from its hinges.

“I’m in.” She relays off to the transmitter by her ear.

The voice of Alex instantly crackles to life.

_‘Good, now remember. You’re going into this blind so don’t do anything reckless. Hold back for further instructions.’_

“Got it.” Kara mutters, doing a quick security sweep of her new environment – of this long empty hallway that the doors had led her to.

It had been a tough find, locating this underground facility. Not only is it hidden far, far beneath the earth and away from the prying eyes of civilisation, its walls are noticeably lead-lined too, which could only mean one thing – that whoever is behind this had been prepared for a Kryptonian.

Quite a preventive measure for what is purported to be just an alien-trafficking ring.

To think that a few days ago they were very much at their wits end in their search for this elusive syndicate – coming up with empty warehouse after warehouse – with their only lead in the investigation being this random trail of missing alien reports.

And after an extremely vague anonymous tip-off one morning.

This.

Ever so furtively, Kara makes her way down the hallway, footsteps silent, hovering just barely over the ground. Already, she’s getting a really bad vibe from this place – from this hallway alone, actually – considering the fact that her x-ray vision is practically as good as moot here and she can’t see anything past the walls ahead or surrounding her.

But what is truly unnerving about this whole set up, other than her lack of foresight, is the absence of sound around her; where even her superb hearing can’t pick up on the faintest murmur of a heartbeat in the distance or the endless droning of the air-conditioning somewhere.

Anything.

All except for this eerie silence that seems to reverberate on forever.

Just what kind of a facility has she just stumbled on to, Kara wonders. One that is so covert, that not only are the walls lead-lined, they’re soundproofed as well.

She does another survey of the area; all in her strive to allay the growing uneasiness in her chest.

Surrounding her are practically white walls, white floors, and white ceilings, where white fluorescent lights hang overhead, shining almost glaringly into her eyes.

It all looks innocuous enough, with the sterile shade of white blinding her at every point and turn.

But there’s just something about this place – something that Kara can’t exactly put a finger to – that feels… sinister. Foreboding. Something about how it reeks of antiseptic, bleach and everything clean that gives Kara this vague sense of familiarity.

Like déjà vu.

Almost like–

Kara’s breath hitches, her heart catching painfully in her throat as she reaches the end of the hallway.

_‘Supergirl, what’s wrong?’_

The sizzle of Alex’ voice in her ear is almost a comforting distraction. That is, until she’s faced with the reality of her situation once more.

Unbeknownst to herself, her hands have begun to tremble.

“The missing aliens…” Kara swallows, takes in a shuddering breath. “They’re here.” She whispers, unable to tear her eyes away from the atrocity of a laboratory before her.

Aliens.

All of varying stature, size, and form locked up in glass cages, gagged and bound in chains like some feral animal.

And from where she’s standing, she can vaguely make out the barest trace of dried tears, streaking down some of the bound aliens’ faces. Some young, some old. And some of which, Kara knows, has a family or a loved one somewhere, just waiting for them to come home. But if there’s one thing they all have in common – is that same wide-eyed, fear-stricken look of sheer terror.

Though, that’s not even half of the horror.

To her left are several rooms – rooms that are completely transparent and see-through, likely to be also made out of glass – of what appear to be makeshift operating theatres. And in each room, there is at least one alien being strapped, restrained and dissected upon, picked apart by the shiny silver scalpel – or laser, if their skin is apparently too tough to be pried apart by metal – of the scientists working over them.

Most of them are lying limp, dead as Kara presumes to be, but there are still a prominent few who are notably writhing, thrashing under the knife of the scientist before them. But instead of being met with blood-curdling screams, Kara is met with nothing but an endless silence.

A dead, jarring silence that comes with the extreme soundproofing of this wretched laboratory.

And there.

Right there, working away in one of the operating theatres at an obscure corner, is an unmistakably familiar face, hidden away behind a surgical mask.

Lena.

Kara watches on in absolute horror – in a sick, twisted kind of fascination – at the way her hands seem to manoeuvre around dextrously with a scalpel, almost like a seasoned professional. Her eyes are a stone-cold shade of green, detached and utterly blank, and it’s the most impassive Kara has ever seen her. She doesn’t even bat a lash when blood splatters across her surgical mask, her gloved hands sullied, drenched and dyed completely in the colour of red.

In the blood of the innocents.

Alien blood.

Kara wobbles unsteadily on her feet as she props herself up against the nearest wall, fighting down on the bile that is quickly rising up her throat, as with the urge to retch and to empty out the day’s meal from her stomach.

She feels oddly light-headed and sick.

Sick.

So very fucking sick.

She doesn’t even know what is worse at this point. Seeing Lena commit acts of extreme brutality without a single trace of that compassion she is known to be so full of – without a wink of remorse.

Or the fact that ****_this_**** – being dissected apart and reduced to nothing but a blob of Kryptonian skin tissue to be studied under the microscope – could have very well been her fate awhile back ago.

Knees buckling slightly, blurry memories begin to flood her in quick, rapid succession.

_(Luminescent green, swirling about in a syringe._

_Voices murmuring indistinctly all over and around her, threatening to close in on her._

_The brief feeling of suffocating – she’s heaving, gasping desperately for air but still can’t get any of that sweet oxygen down into her lungs and it’s killing her slowly._

_Hands are grabbing at her from all corners, pinning her down. And it hurts. Everything hurts._

_The look of regret on Lena’s face._

_‘I’m sorry.’)_

Kara breaks out of it with a wheezing gasp, where she realises, albeit belatedly for the first time, that she is on the verge of hyperventilating. In fact, she has already started hyperventilating.

_‘Supergirl? Supergirl, what’s going on? Is everything alright?’_

Comes Alex near frantic response in her ear, and she can vaguely make out the worry in her voice, despite the occasional static and interference distorting it a little. She clings on to it, listens hard to the familiar tones and fluctuation of her sister’s voice as she tries to steady her breaths that are coming out in erratic puffs.

“I’m fine.” Kara grits out, once she manages to get herself into a considerably calm state that wouldn’t call for some kind of a concerned-overprotective-sister intervention.

But a brief glance down shows that her hands are still shaking and she balls them up into tight fists, forcing them – willing them with all her might – to still.

Because damn it, she’s stronger than this.

Another deep breath and a slow exhale, and she swallows, finally staring to feel a little bit more like herself again. “Just that, this is not just some alien-trafficking base. It’s a–”

“Well, well.”

At the sound of that all too familiar drawl, every single cell in Kara’s body freezes right in place.

Her heartbeat quickens, drumming away in tandem to this crippling emotion that pulses through her, eroding at her veins and creeping into her spine like poison.

Fear.

She turns around stiffly, steeling herself.

And there, she catches the tail end of Lillian Luthor casually tossing a pair of bloodied gloves into the nearest biohazard waste bin.

“Aren’t you looking slightly green in the face there, Supergirl.” Lillian remarks insouciantly, tone light and strangely conversational, considering their two identities. “Feeling under the weather?”

She spares Kara a quick, fleeting glance – a sardonic glance – before looking away disinterestedly, as if deciding that she isn’t quite worth her time.

Kara bristles at that, nostrils flaring reflexively in response to the brief flicker of rage that had risen from the embers of her fear, coming at her in ripples and building up slowly like a current – her previous indisposition long forgotten.

Taking a quick pump or two of the alcohol-based hand rub plastered to the side of the pillar, the Luthor matriarch begins to work at her hands, her movements slow and ever so languid.

“Not that anything should get past that Kryptonian constitution of yours.” She carries on to say, pivoting over to face Kara properly then. Her stare is holding in its intensity as her eyes take up on a particularly dangerous gleam under the light. “But oh, would I have loved to find out.”

She sneers, lips twisting into a cruel smile.

The very same cruel smile from Kara’s nightmares.

( _‘Deal with her.’)_

In that very moment, something deep within Kara finally snaps, and all she sees is that one colour and one colour only – red.

“You are going to put an end to this madness right now!” Kara blusters on heatedly, taking a forceful step forward towards the carelessly indifferent Luthor standing before her.

Her knuckles are a deathly shade of white – from her, clenching at her fists much too hard – and are trembling noticeably, albeit purely for an entirely different reason this time as her eyes flash bright with a raw, untameable fury.

Fury for all the aliens in this facility and all that they have been through.

Fury for herself.

Because this time around, she’s no longer powerless, weak, contained and cuffed up in a tiny holding cell. This time, she will–

Kara wavers as soon as her eyes happen to land on the thin frame of Lena in the distance. Lena, who remains oblivious to Kara’s presence in the facility and is still going at it with whatever she’s doing at the operating table.

She tears her gaze away sharply, once again refocussing all of her rage onto the tall, singular form of one Lillian Luthor – the sole reason for all the cruelty in this wretched place.

This time she will destroy Cadmus.

“I’m afraid that won’t be happening.” Lillian says, calmly – carefully – as if she’s talking down to a hapless three-year-old who doesn’t know anything better and it only serves to enrage Kara further.

“Then I will ****_make_**** it happen!” Kara snarls, thrusting herself yet another powerful step forward.

Beneath her, the concrete splinters, crumbling with a crack.

She can just feel the burn of her heat vision steaming behind her eyes, her freeze breath cold on her tongue, and her powers thrumming right beneath her fingertips, all of which – ready to be unleashed at any given notice.

But Lillian Luthor, in all of her Luthor arrogance, had barely even flinched at Kara’s attempt at intimidation. If anything, she had only looked more tickled by her display than anything else, watching on with the same kind of amusement one would have towards a puppy performing a new trick.

“Think again, Supergirl.” She says, throwing Kara a scathing smirk before snapping at her fingers.

And the next thing Kara knows, she’s doubling over on her knees, with her hands cupped and pressed tightly over her overtly sensitive Kryptonian ears, in her bid to shield them off against the most disorienting sound she has ever laid her ears on. Like a high-pitched ring that goes on and on forever, and at a volume that is just so extremely excruciating too to the extent where she can feel it quite literally rattling every bone in her body, such that it grates at her joints, making it a task to even stand on her feet.

She raises at her head, despite much difficulty, and squints past the agonizing screech in her ears, all in the search for the source of the hindrance. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Lillian mouthing off orders to some her scientist cronies, all the while looking very much unaffected by all that’s supposedly going on.

Though, that’s honestly the least of Kara’s concerns for now. All she needs is to switch that damned device off. If there’s any device in the first place. She’d be damned if it were some kind of an in-built system, linking up the entire facility.

But just as Kara is about to lose hope, something catches her eye.

There. (Or at least, she hopes it’s there.)

Keeping her fingers crossed, she takes a quick shot with her heat vision at an inconspicuous-looking contraption in the far left corner of the room.

In an instant, the debilitating pressure against her eardrums alleviates, though it doesn’t mean she’s left any less disoriented from before.

Her joints and muscles feel oddly fatigued – spent for the day – and her hearing is still caught on to that persistent ring that is thankfully abating, although she honestly still can’t hear anything past that droning hum. All around her, the world is spinning and there seems to be movement coming from everywhere in all directions, with people – scientists in white coats – blurring past her in some sort of a mad scramble.

But alas, despite her drawbacks, Kara pushes through. She hauls herself back up to her feet solely through grit and willpower alone, albeit with a stumble. However, just as she’s finally getting a hold of her bearings, she finds herself getting knocked off of her feet yet once again by a punishing blow to her gut, and it steals the air right out of her lungs.

She heaves, gasping against the cold hard concrete as she glances feebly up at the looming figure of Hank Henshaw – or better known as Cyborg Superman – standing over her.

“You’re not going anywhere,” If her circumstances were any different, she would have definitely found it amusing to see J’onn’s face sneering down at her like she’s some sub-human trash. But sadly, that isn’t the case. “Supergirl.” He spits, closing in on Kara with his foot, determined to drive it through her.

Though, Kara is lucky to have managed to roll out of the way in the nick of time, as evidenced from the foot-sized crater he had left behind in his wake.

Pushing herself up onto her knees, she gives her head a vigorous shake, her fingers tugging at her hair in her vain attempt to clear the muddiness in her head that is clearly bogging her down and for her vision to focus.

Throwing caution to the wind, she decides to wing it, speeding in towards the bulky form of Hank with a punch.

A punch that he avoids effortlessly, and in turn retaliates with a punch of his own that sends Kara sailing through the air like a ragdoll and crashing through one of those glass holding cells, causing a spray of glass shard in the small radius around her.

Kara groans, rolls herself over back onto her forearms when she winces, having caught her finger on a chip of glass.

Wait, what.

She holds said-finger up to eye-level, staring perplexedly at the drip of crimson coursing from her cut.

She’s bleeding.

But before she can even wrap her mind over that strange occurrence, she’s getting the wind knocked out of her from a devastating blow to her ribs – in which, she’s sure she had heard a tell-tale sickening crack upon impact.

There goes her ribs.

She lets out another groan, tasting copper in her mouth and reaches over to her lip that she realises, albeit dully, is split. Every single cell in her body aches, throbbing in agony – something that almost never happens before – and as she pounds a fist into the concrete, all she feels is this sharp jolting pain radiating up from her palm up into her forearm; while the ground, on the other hand, is left completely unmarred.

Her powers…

Kryptonite?

But when?

Kara claws her way back up to her knees, wavering slightly.

 _Focus_ , she tells herself, forcing her eyes to stay open despite her bleary vision that is constantly swimming in and out of focus. The outline of Hank Henshaw doubles up in images, and as he stalks in towards her, it only worsens. She can't even think straight.

_Focus, Kara._

She swallows, gripping at her head, shaking it once. Twice. But everything is still blurry. Her heat vision isn’t working and neither is her freeze breath. She grits at her teeth, tries not to gag at the taste of her blood pooling in her mouth.

_FOCUS._

And that’s when her vision finally hones in sharply, albeit on Lena. A fuzzy face in the cluttered background behind Hank, but one that Kara is able to make out anywhere and anytime. Brows scrunched and mouth hanging ajar, she looks almost panicked, and it’s the most expressive Kara has ever seen her in all of their hostile confrontations.

As her green stare crosses hers from afar, she sees the horror in her eyes.

And worry.

Honest to god, worry.

And it’s the last thing Kara sees before she’s treated to a shattering punch to her temple.

Then, darkness.

* * *

 

  _‘But you saved me.’_

_‘I did.’_

_‘Why?’_

_‘Would you have believed me if I were to tell you that I only did what I’d thought was the right thing to do?’_

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, it wasn't supposed to end on a cliff-hanger, but the chapter kinda got a little too long as I was writing it and i had to split it into two. so yeap. as promised, shit went down. and this is where the angst starts rolling in, so I hope you're all prepared for it. considering we basically spent the first half of the story in fluff haha. 
> 
> and a very happy new year to all of you! first update of the year, here. whoo! (i'm always somehow a day late updating on these occasions. but hey, I try.) oh and speaking about updates, I'm not sure if you noticed by now, but I'm trying my best to stick to a weekly update schedule for this story – in case anyone's waiting up on this fic. 
> 
> also, much love to all of you lovelies for all the kudos and comments in the previous few chapters. it really makes my day knowing someone enjoyed reading something I've wrote, and I really appreciate it. oxo. also, I'm on tumblr as @[frostybwitch](http://frostybwitch.tumblr.com/) so feel free to come yell at me if you want. and that's enough of me rambling, so bye!


	6. the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All I ever wanted to do was the right thing.”

Kara awakens with a start; eyes flying open with a gasp and a wheeze, followed by a torrent of coughs that violently rattles the ribs of her chest. She winces, fighting back on a grimace at the sharp sear of pain that comes with every tiny jostle of movement that her body makes.

Which makes sense.

Considering the last memory she has before blacking out, is of her getting mauled and torn to pieces by Hank Henshaw.

She starts at the thought, breathing in sharply, her muscles coiling, pulling taut and her senses on high alert. Overhead, the yellow fluorescent glare of the sun lamps pours down over her, bathing her in a strange, albeit tingly heat. It’s not unpleasant per se, just unfamiliar is all; in the way the lights seem to be little too bright – a little too blinding for her eyes.

She squints past that, sees the white walls and white ceilings, and immediately, her heartbeat begins to race despite herself. So she struggles to get up, all the while trying to regulate her breathing that is slowly picking up, and when she finds resistance in her movements, she finally glances down at herself to notice the network of wires attached to her person.

 

* * *

 

_(A small, dimly lit confined room._

_The bright fluorescent glare of the lights in her face._

_White-coats. Cadmus scientists on all of her four corners, holding her down as she thrashes about, writhing and screaming while they strap her down with the restraints._

_One across her forehead. Two over her wrists and lastly around her ankles._

_The sardonic twist of a smirk from Lillian Luthor._

_‘Not even your God can save you now, Supergirl.’)_

 

* * *

 

The loud persistent beeping of the machine beside her startles her back to reality, and it’s all that she can hear, pulsing thunderously along to the beats of her heart in her ears.

Frantically, she rips at the wires around her, wheezing, as her chest heaves, her breaths quickly turning rapid and shallow. Suddenly everything feels like it’s closing in on her, and she feels trapped. Contained. Small.

Weak.

The beeping around her increases in its volume, pounding louder.

And faster.

When finally she manages to tumble out of the bed with one powerful tug.

Then, silence.

Dead silence.

Her mind inexplicably turns over to Lena.

With a start, she scrambles to her feet, stumbling when her knees nearly buckle in on itself, and props herself up against the side of the bed, one hand gripping at the fabric over her vigorously heaving chest and the other pressing against the side of her temple.

She feels sick.

All around her, the world is one highly saturated blur, spinning around in circles, and periodically fading in and out of focus, and she feels sick.

She can’t breathe and her hands are shaking, and she feels sick.

So sick.

“Kara, you’re awake!”

She only manages to dully register the sound of Alex’ voice by the door before pushing past her to stagger out into the hallway, wherein she finally empties out her stomach. But instead of feeling any better, it only seems to have shaken her up even more, and she can’t hold herself back from convulsing against the cold tiles of the floor.

Amidst the world falling apart around her, she hears the sound of muted footsteps coming up beside her, and feels the warm weight of a hand pressing gently against her as it rubs soothing circles down the small of her back.

“Come on, Kara. Deep breaths.”

She obeys after the voice – Alex, as she would come to identify later – and she latches on to the familiarity of it, allowing it to calm her down, albeit marginally.

“Now, hold it in and count to two. That’s great. You’re doing great. Okay, let it go. Do you think you can do it all over again?”

Kara manages a feeble nod, repeats after Alex till the tremor of her body eases up significantly and her breaths, while still coming out in shudders, are far less erratic than before. She swallows, and cringes at the acerbic taste in her mouth – a faint reminder that she had just painted the end of the hallway with her own barf.

The janitor is so going to hate her for this.

“Better?”

“Yes,” Kara rasps, in a gravelly voice that sounded as if it had travelled past vocal cords of sandpaper. For a second, she couldn’t even recognise the sound of her own voice.

She pushes off from the wall she had been braced up against unsteadily, and with a step forward, finds herself swaying on her feet with her knees folding in on her.

“Clearly not.” Alex quips dryly, an arm encircling around Kara’s waist, propping her back up as she slings Kara’s arm across her shoulder for a better grip. “You should get back under the sun lamps–”

“–No!” Kara struggles, almost in a frenzy, as soon as she notices the direction Alex is steering her towards. “Please,” her voice quavers. She peers up at her sister imploringly, gripping at her forearm with trembling fingers. “No sun lamps.”

Something in Alex softens when she meets Kara gaze, and with a sigh, she acquiesces.

“Alright, fine. No sun lamps. Then how about some fresh air and good ole’ natural sunlight?”

At that, Kara cracks a smile, nodding.

“That would be nice.”

 

* * *

 

“Here. Best to keep yourself hydrated, now that you’re off the IV.”

“Thanks,” murmurs Kara, grabbing the proffered water bottle off Alex’ hand with a grateful smile. She had no idea how parched she was until her first sip, where she then proceeds to drain the entire bottle in one, long extended swig, relishing in the way the cool water washes down her throat like sweet, sweet salvation.

Sitting to her side on the stone bench out on the rooftop terrace of the DEO, she can feel Alex watching her intently, her gaze boring into the side of her temple. Kara doesn’t even need to glance back at her to know that she has that look on her face. Her ‘thinking’ face, as Kara would so often refer to. It’s the look that Alex has whenever she’s trying to piece something together. A mystery, a riveting case that requires more wits than the usual, or in this instance – Kara.

“So how long has this been going on for?” Alex asks, quietly – tentatively.

Kara merely sends her a questioning glance, brows scrunched in perplexity.

“Your panic attacks, I mean.” She clarifies, looking almost uncomfortable as she fidgets with her fingers.

Kara frowns. “Oh.”

To finally slap a label over it, suddenly makes it all so very real and tangible. She has been doing her damnedest to avoid this topic for ages, subtly evading it with a quick diversion here, a smooth interjection of a completely unrelated comment there. Because to talk about it, means that she’s actually acknowledging it – that crippling sensation of fear she has no control over. And it’s humiliating. It makes her feel vulnerable, when she’s supposed to be everything but.

It makes her feel human.

“It’s been going on ever since I was captured by Cadmus.” She says, swallowing thickly at the bile of emotions that is forming up at the back of her throat, and tries her best to stifle down the memories that are threatening to resurface just by the mention of it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

And honestly, Kara doesn’t know which is worse. The lack of angry accusation in Alex’ tone or the disappointment and hurt shining in her eyes.

Maybe both.

“Well, I thought I had it all under control. It was getting better until…” She takes in a shaky breath, holds it, then releases it with a long weary exhale, pressing her fingers against her throbbing temples – the one ailment she’s most unused to with her newfound mortality.

She shakes her head, clearing her throat.

“So did you end up freeing the captured aliens?”

“Are you still having nightmares?” Alex counters back, clearly refusing to back down this time.

Kara sighs, pinches hard at the bridge of her nose. The pounding in her head just won’t seem to go away for whatever reason, only appearing to worsen the more distressed she gets. So she inclines her head, hoping that a little sunshine on her face would somehow dull out the ache, but it only unwittingly puts her in a position where she is forced to meet her sister’s expectant gaze as a result.

Which is a wrong move in hindsight.

She deflates with yet another sigh, shoulders sagging in resignation.

“Time to time,” admits Kara, albeit in a small voice. “I didn’t tell you, only because I didn’t want to worry you any more than is necessary. ”

“Kara…”

She keeps her eyes pointed down at the gravel beneath her, lips pursed abashedly; years of experience having conditioned her to react accordingly to the admonishment in her sister’s voice. She listens to the short intake of breath from Alex, and instinctively braces herself, knowing that she’s likely to be subjecting herself to a dressing down of a lifetime.

But instead of words coming at Kara at rapid speed, what ensues is a sharp flick against her forehead that she actually flinches from, her fingers reaching up reflexively to feel around the tender spot as she glances sharply up at Alex in bewilderment.

“I’m always going to worry about you, you silly goose!”

However, before she can even sound out a word of her surprise, she finds herself being pulled into a crushing hug that steals the very air right out of her lungs.

“You’re my sister, how can I not? And you, not telling me things, is only going to make me worry more. So please. Next time, if something similar ever happens again, tell me. I know I may not be of much help, but at least you don’t have to suffer alone like this.”

For what it’s worth, she squeezes back at Alex without restraint, hoping that it would convey her earnest sincerity when she murmurs softly into the crook of her neck. “Thank you, Alex.” And she means it, truly, with all of her heart. “What would I do without you?”

“Don’t even want to imagine it. You’d be a wreck.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Kara laughs, drawing back from the embrace with a watery smile. “But really, thank you.”

Alex sniffs, in an exaggerated show of mock-disdain, eyes narrowing as she holds up a warning finger at Kara. “Don’t you dare keep me in the dark in the future, you hear me?”

“Yes, Mom.” Kara rejoinders with a quick roll of her eyes, though unable to quite wipe the grin off her face when Alex nudges her playfully with her shoulder.

Setting their playful banter to rest, she turns to Alex, eyes serious, yet pleading.

“So will you now ****_please_**** get me up to speed with things? Please tell me you freed those captured aliens.”

Alex only sighs, pinning her down with a long pointed look before relenting.

“We did.” She nods, glancing over at Kara meaningfully, and there’s this pained look in her eyes as she does so. “And you were lucky that J’onn managed to get to the scene in time. Or you wouldn’t be sitting here, talking to me right now.”

Kara grimaces, rubbing at the sore spot across her chest where the blows had connected. Hank Henshaw definitely got her good.

“And while he was busy fending off Cyborg Superman, the rest of the squad was raiding the place and freeing the captured aliens. They’re safe, and should have returned to their family and loved ones by now.”

“That’s good.” Kara sighs, relieved.

She glances down at her bandaged fingers, and remembers the brief glimpse of red – of blood tracking down her fingertips – during her brawl against Hank Henshaw.

“And what of my powers? It’s like they disappeared on me halfway through the fight and I’m pretty sure I didn’t so much as solar-flared or anything.”

“About that.” Alex frowns, lips pursed and face grim. It causes Kara to straighten her spine in suspense. “When we were clearing the area, we found some Kryptonite. Or to be more specific, a gold-synthetic Kryptonite that was created by the Luthors.”  
  


“Gold Kryptonite…” Kara murmurs pensively, sifting through her memories and trying to recall if she had come into contact with said-substance at any point in time. She comes up with nothing. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. It was stowed away in the frequency cannon that had been used against you during the encounter. And when you destroyed it, trace amount of it had actually leaked out into the atmosphere, and that’s how it got to you.”

Kara grits at her teeth, fists clenching tightly despite the sharp twinge in her tendons as she does so.

Yet, in the end, she’s still the fool. Playing right into Lillian Luthor’s hands.

The second she had walked into that facility alone without backup, her fate had been sealed. Whichever way she had gone about doing it, she was meant to fall.

Checkmate.

“As for the side-effects?”

“We’re not too sure about that yet, it’s still being studied down in the labs. So far, it only appears to have stripped you completely of your powers. Though thankfully, we think it’s only temporary, given that you’re already slowly regaining your regenerative abilities.”

Alex smiles wanly, chuckling wryly to herself as she sizes Kara up.

“A regular human being shouldn’t even be able to get up, much less walk, in your current condition. Six broken ribs, a third-grade concussion and a fractured arm that seems to have healed already. Did I mention you were out for nearly a day and a half?”

“A day and a half,” chokes Kara. “What about my–”

“–Your Supergirl duties are being taken care off by J’onn. And you’ve got the week off at CatCo too. Doctor’s orders.”

“Oh,” Kara blinks, shoulder slumping. “Okay.”

As she’s right about to give in into the peaceful serenity of the rooftop terrace, with its gorgeous greenery and flowers surrounding them, it suddenly occurs to her.

“What about Lillian Luthor? Did she…”

“She escaped.” Alex finishes with a mutter, frowning deeply, the scorn and derision clear in her tone and on her face. “Along with her Cadmus personnel.”

Immediately, Kara’s thoughts turn to Lena.

On one hand, she’s relieved to know that she had gotten out of there safely, but on the other…

Images of mangled alien bodies, faces twisted and contorted into silent screams, flash past her mind’s eye.

Lena standing over them. Scalpel in hand. Eyes cold and empty, devoid of all emotions, with that streak of blood – alien blood – across her surgical mask.

Suddenly, it’s all Kara sees.

Bowing over, she buries her face into hands, the heels of her palms pressing against her eyes, as she sighs, long and deep – in her vain attempt to expel the hurt from her system. As if that could somehow erase all she had seen in that facility.

“Hey, it’s alright,” croons Alex softly beside her, having mistaken Kara’s reaction for crushing disappointment. She rests a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We’ll get her next time. Her, and the rest of the Luthors.”

Kara peers past her hands, head angling towards Alex in a side-glance, and forces on a smile, praying that it wouldn’t come off too much as a grimace.

“Yeah, next time for sure.” She mumbles absently, and with much effort, she gathers herself back into an upright position once more, her gaze drawn to the vast National City skyline before her. “Hey, Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to be alone for awhile.”

She can almost hear the consternation in Alex’ movements, but she reels it in quickly, scrambling to her feet, obliging. “Oh, yeah. Sure. I’ll, uh, leave you to it then.”

She presses a parting kiss to Kara’s temple – an old habit from their younger days. Once upon a time, it was done purely out of spite to rile the other up. But now, it’s more of a heartfelt show of affection between two sisters than anything else, done out of habit.

“I’ll check back with you later.”

And now that Kara’s completely alone with the greenery and the view of National City for company, she finally sets herself free to her thoughts, allowing it to fully consume her.

 

* * *

 

Thinking.

It’s basically all that Kara does in the days that follow during her recovery as she sits out on the roof terrace of the DEO, basking away and soaking in the sunlight.

It’s the compromise she gets for not being under the sun lamps. Though, it’s definitely not one that is unwelcome, despite the alleged slower rate of recovery. In fact, if Kara were to be honest she’d very much prefer to be here, out in the open and surrounded by rows of pretty little flowers with the gentle glow of the sun soft on her skin; to that confined room and space under the intense glare of the lamps.

It all strikes a little too close to home for her, and Kara doesn’t think she’s all that ready to face her fears just yet. In time, yes. But not now.

And with practically nothing much to do, apart from resting and whiling her time away, Kara is often left to her own devices – alone with her thoughts.

That are filled with nothing but Lena.

The captured aliens.

The facility.

Everything.

She had practically spent all of her time parsing through every single conversation she has ever had with Lena. Every word. Every smile. Every look. It all plays back in her head, going on over and over again, like a tape recorder stuck on loop.

She knows.

She knew damned well from the very beginning what she was getting herself into.

Lena is a Luthor. She is a Luthor first, before everything else. And a Luthor does bad things. Unspeakable things.

She knows that.

But to actually witness it first-hand. To see it with her own two eyes, how Lena – Lena, with the soft eyes and the warm heart, who had spoken to a child with all the gentleness and patience in the world during their very first non-hostile encounter – had just… cut right into an alien in cold blood without even flinching.

She just can’t see past that.

She can’t.

And it’s killing her.

Because Lena is her friend.

 ** ** _She’s_**** supposed to be her ****_friend_****.

But everything between them feels so tainted now, and she can’t go a second thinking about Lena without her mind flashing to her in that surgical mask, holding that bloody scalpel.

And she’s just…

She doesn’t know what to think – what to feel about it – and it’s all tearing her apart.

Because a small part of her desperately still wants to ****_believe_**** that Lena is different from her family. That she is ****_good_**** , despite it all.

(That what they had – whatever tentative friendship that had been blossoming between them – and the things she had said weren’t just a lie.)

So Kara ends up doing the dumbest thing she can possibly do upon her full recovery of her powers and from her injuries.

She follows her heart and stops thinking for once.

In retrospect, this is probably a really, ****_really_**** bad idea; diving in head first into uncharted territories – in which case, Lena’s apartment – like this, where every bit of her rational thinking is telling her to stay far, far away from said-Luthor at this given time.

But before she can even chicken out or go back on her decision, she’s already tapping at the glass panel to Lena’s balcony in polite courtesy and practically more than a foot into her apartment, having simply let herself in.

She doesn’t even need to search hard for Lena, finding her in that bit between her open kitchen and lounge area, where it looks as if she had been in the midst to go investigate the tiny commotion Kara had caused in her entrance through her balcony, albeit stopping short at the sight of Kara before her.

She blinks, gaping openly, her jaw slack and eyes wide in surprise, as Kara’s name escapes her with a breath.

“Kara…”

And she blinks again.

And again.

As if she just can’t believe her eyes that Kara is right there, standing in front of her.

She inches a step forward towards her, movements slow and tentative, like she’s afraid that Kara would up and go or disappear in a puff of smoke with one sudden move. Her green eyes search her, roving up and down, drinking her in. “Y-you’re okay.” Lena sighs, shakily. The tension in her shoulders melts away, her body unwinding in sheer relief. “Thank god.”

“Glad to see that you’re in one piece too.” Kara sends her a tight smile in return, albeit watching her with an awkward uncertainty that is almost reminiscent of their very first few meetings.

She’s in her usuals. Hair down and barefooted, in that MIT sweater with the pasta stain in the middle and her garish red star-printed trackies, that is secretly one of Kara’s favourite piece of clothing in her closet. It all looks so normal, standing before Lena and seeing her all dressed down like this – like they had just gotten back from their grocery run and are about to whip out some hot chocolate, and maybe even put on a cheesy movie like ‘The Princess Bride’ or something.

And that throws Kara off. The whole normalcy of this whole set-up.

Because if she actually pretends hard enough, she can almost convince herself that all that had happened was all just a dream. A horrible, ****_horrible_**** nightmare.

But it’s not.

Lena shuffles at her feet, and it momentarily draws Kara out of her thoughts, her eyes instinctively following after the way Lena nurses her bottom lip between her teeth – a nervous tick of hers, as Kara has come to learn over the past month or so.

She gingerly puts a foot out, clearly itching to get in closer towards Kara, to take her in properly. But alas, as if thinking better of it, Lena draws herself back, staying put and giving Kara a wide berth.

Oh, how far they’ve fallen.

Playing with her fingers, Lena steels herself with a breath. “I…”

“I wanted to see you.” Kara interjects smoothly, eyes dark and face grim.

And it’s only afterwards will she realise that she had once said a fairly similar line a while back ago, albeit in a different context. It’s funny how things had changed so fast, so quickly.

“We… We have to talk.”

Lena exhales then, a long weary sigh that causes her shoulders to slump dejectedly under the weight of those four words. She has never looked more defeated and tired than that very moment. "Yeah, we do.” She says, quietly, voice just barely above a whisper.

Her eyes are a dull washed-off shade of green, so dark that it’s nearly bordering on grey, and when she drops her gaze for it to briefly flitter across the symbol on Kara’s chest, they only darken further.

“But not tonight.”

She takes a retreating step backwards, throwing Kara a pained smile over her shoulder before turning on her heels, looking ready to withdraw further into her apartment in a clear dismissive gesture.

And that’s when Kara sees it – hears it, to be more specific – her attention suddenly drawn to the single droplet that drips off from Lena’s fingertips in slow-motion, hitting the ground with a tiny splash that resounds through her sensitive Kryptonian ears.

“Lena, wait.”

Without thinking, Kara crosses the distance between them and reaches in, grasping her wrist in a firm grip as she holds her hand up to the light.

Crimson.

Bright red, crimson courses down the length of her fingers in thin spindly rivulets, and instinctively Kara finds her breath hitching in her throat, eyes widening in alarm as her mind turns to every dark thought she ever has.

“Lena?” She swallows, unable to look away from the blood on her hand, fearing the worst. But at a closer inspection, she notices it oozing out from the various cuts littered across her fingers and palm

“Lena, you’re bleeding.” Kara gapes, looking up at Lena frantically in consternation, unable to keep the concern from seeping into her voice no longer.

Because in spite of everything, Lena is still a friend.

She blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of things.

“What is–”

“Don’t touch me.”

Her words are uncharacteristically succinct and curt, but it’s ultimately the frigidness behind it that takes Kara aback, causing her to loosen her hold around her wrist.

Seizing the opportunity, Lena yanks her hand out of Kara’s grasp, shirking away from her touch bodily.

And it inexplicably elicits a deep twinge in Kara’s chest despite herself.

She can see it properly now, though.

It’s not just one of her hands. Both of them are bleeding.

And trembling too.

Though what she thinks to be the most unsettling is how the skin over her hands appears to be cracked, peeling off in several places while looking particularly red, and so very raw, as if she had been thoroughly scrubbing at it.

Then as if the fog over her eyes had finally been lifted, it suddenly dawns on her.

She can’t believe it had even escaped her notice before.

The complete disarray of Lena’s apartment and the dim lighting enshrouding the entire place.

The kitchen tap, open and running away, in the background.

And the broken shards of glass by the half-empty bottle of scotch on the kitchen island.

How could she have missed the signs?

She takes a step forward just as Lena takes a step back.

“Lena–”

“Leave.”

“No, Lena. You’re drunk–”

“I’m not, so please just leave.”

And it would have made for a more convincing argument if Kara hadn’t just caught the blatant slur in her words and the stagger in her step as she attempts to move away from Kara.

Easing herself closer slowly with a placating hand held up, all in the same manner one would take in approaching an easily startled animal, Kara makes to repeat herself once more.

“Look, you’re drunk and you’re hurt. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can leave the same way you came in.”

“Lena.”

“Kara."

It’s a slow, albeit tedious dance around each other, but eventually, Kara manages to back her up against the edge of her kitchen island. And before Lena can even consider her next move from there on, she super speeds in towards her, grabbing at her hands.

“No – no, don’t touch me.”

Kara latches on her firmly instead, refusing to let go this time, as she tries to pin Lena down against the kitchen island with her hip to further restrict her movements.

But it only causes her to struggle even more, flailing and thrashing about against her grip.

“Lena, you’ve got to calm down. You’re hurt–"

“No, no, no. I said don’t touch me!”

At this point, it has become somewhat of a perilous juggling act for Kara; for her to moderate her strength optimally in a manner that would be enough to hold Lena back in her struggles, without actually hurting her. Though, it’s only made harder with all the blood getting in the way for proper traction. The last thing Kara would ever want is for her to lose control somehow and end up doing something she might regret.

“Lena, please. Just calm down for a minute.”

“I said don’t touch me – no, don’t touch me!”

Not wanting to aggravate Lena’s wounds any further, and also realising that perhaps, this is not the way she should go about doing this, Kara does the one thing left that she can possibly do at this given time – she throws her arms around Lena, all in a last ditch effort to calm her down.

Though, it is to say that her efforts are mostly in vain.

Lena’s still very much in hysterics, shaking, sobbing and pounding against Kara with all her might while screaming out the words ‘don’t touch me’ over and over again.

It’s painful just watching her like that, but Kara doesn’t relent, not this time. She holds her close to her chest, and wedges her injured hands between their bodies, not particularly caring if she’s getting Lena’s blood smeared all over her super suit, so long as she can get her to calm down one way or another, it doesn’t matter.

Gently, she rakes her fingers through Lena’s dark mane, rocking her slightly. “Hush, hush. It’s okay, it’s okay. Just breathe with me.” She croons, scratching down Lena’s scalp, in hopes that it would soothe her the same way it did for herself, years back when she was still prone to sensory meltdowns. “Come on, breathe with me. That’s right.”

Eventually, Lena’s thrashing begins to subside; her struggles to set herself free from Kara’s embrace easing off into half-hearted thumps against her shoulders.

“No, don’t… Please, Kara, just… go.” She sniffs, whimpering quietly, shoulders quivering as she lays down one last feeble pound against Kara in resistance before finally going limp in her arms. She clutches at the fabric around Kara’s chest, and drops her forehead down against her collar, shivering and sobbing brokenly into her. “I don’t want to hurt you too.”

Kara stiffens, her breath catching.

Standing there in the middle of the dimly-lit lounge room, holding Lena and feeling her tremble up against her, shaking like a leaf while her tears soak deep into Kara’s suit, she had felt so small in her arms then – so fragile. But Kara knows. This is the very moment that will decide it all. The moment that will make or break them.

This is the moment where Kara will have to choose.

And choose, she did – she pulls Lena in close.

“ ** ** _You’re_**** hurt, Lena. I’m not going anywhere until you let me fix you up.”

 

* * *

 

Once Lena has calmed considerably, albeit still hiccupping and sniffling periodically, Kara sits her up in one of the high stools by her kitchen island before zipping off speedily to retrieve the first-aid kit that is stored behind the mirror of her washroom, taking no less than a second to return.

“I’m going clean those cuts up now, so it might sting a little.” She forewarns Lena, ever so gently taking her hand in hers and resting it on her lap while she opens up the kit.

This time, Lena doesn’t resist, merely nodding with a sniff and a gulp, her eyes downcast.

Silently, Kara begins to work at her wounds, first cleaning up the dried blood that has crusted over her skin with a warm, damp towel before getting right into disinfecting her cuts. It definitely looks much worse now, after the whole debacle from before.

“What happened?” She asks softly, not really expecting an answer of any kind, merely speaking for the sake of filling in the silence between them.

Ever since Lena had simmered down, she had been awfully quiet and hasn’t said a word ever since, simply taking to staring into space before her blankly with a glazed over look in her eyes, looking every bit like a glass doll – motionless and still.

Drained, and completely defeated.

So when she had replied back – albeit in a rather tremulous, hoarse-sounding voice – in between sniffles, Kara was actually caught surprised.

“I dropped my glass while I was drinking, and got cut.”

Lena exhales shakily, shivering. “Then, there was blood everywhere, so I tried to wash it off.” She doesn’t even flinch when Kara runs the cotton ball, soaked entirely in rubbing alcohol, over her cuts, only looking on forlornly, eyes red and puffy from all of her crying earlier.

“But it wouldn’t come off.”

She pauses, taking a prolonged beat that Kara thinks nothing of until she catches a single teardrop splashing down onto her battered hands. Followed closely by another.

And another.

Halting in her ministration, she gingerly glances up at Lena, only to witness the sight of her, barely holding it all together. Her eyes are squeezed shut and her lips are pursed tight, as if to keep her tears and her sobs at bay, to no avail. They still manage to escape her, nevertheless.

“No matter how hard I scrub. It just wouldn’t come off.”

Her hands are quivering now, as with her shoulders with every jerky exhale.

“I just can’t get the blood off my hands.” She chokes back on a sob, bowing over said-hands, weeping openly now. “It keeps piling, no matter what I do. No matter how hard I try. My sins, they just keep piling over me and I…”

She clenches at her hands, trembling.

“All I ever wanted to do was the right thing.”

And in that very moment, Kara thinks she sees it then.

There, sitting right beside her isn’t a Luthor, who’s carved out of stone – from the coldest of all metals on earth – and melded together with the twisted ideologies of everything evil. Unfeeling, egoistic and selfish.

No.

Sitting right there, is just...

Lena.

A broken woman, who’s forced by her circumstances to do bad things by bad people.

Bad things that she can’t escape from. Bad things that she’s haunted by, and it’s eating at her, inside out, and killing her slowly.

She thinks back to the times when she had briefly caught the barest sliver of melancholy hiding behind the corners of her smiles, the way her eyes would sometimes take on that sad, faraway look whenever she thinks Kara isn’t looking, and suddenly it all makes sense now.

The things she would say, the looks of regret…

At the end of it all, it wasn’t just a lie between them. Maybe some half-truths, here and there.

But it wasn’t a lie.

This is the same Lena whom she had come to know over the past weeks and months.

The Lena with the crazy wit and the unconventional humour that can easily put Kara in stitches. The Lena who throws her head back in laughter, whose green eyes sparkle radiantly under the light without inhibition. The Lena, who didn’t even bat a lash or demanded Kara for compensation when she had ruined her Gucci blouse with coffee.

This is the same Lena with the warm smiles and the kind heart.

It’s always been her.

Even back then.

Even now.

And granted, you can’t ever put a shattered vase back together again, and that incident is always going to be at the back of Kara’s mind like a painful reminder – a mark she can’t ever wash off.

But even so, she still believes in Lena.

And right now, as she watches her drown, falling deeper and deeper into her sea of tears and anguish, all she desperately wants to do is to help.

She’s not exactly sure how or what she can even do at this point, given their roles in this twisted play they call ‘life’. But the least she can do right now is this–

Carefully and slowly, Kara scoots on closer towards Lena and with ever so much of tenderness, she gathers her into her arms and wraps her up in a tight embrace. An embrace that Lena immediately takes to, sinking and curling into her touch.

– _To be a friend._

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so like. This is a long-ass chapter by my standards, and I know it's more or less riddled with all sorts of mistakes, so yeah. Forgive me for that. Also, I've received quite a bit of criticism for writing what I wrote in the last chapter – the graphic depiction of Lena doing what she did down in the lab. And I just want to say that, I still stand by what I wrote. I'm not going to take it back and re-write it in any way. 
> 
> This is a pretty dark fic, and I needed a way to portray the extent of the Luthor's brutality in this universe, and also how Lena is caught in the middle of it all. I know, it's harsh. But it is what it is. And because of that, I am aware that there are quite a few of you out there who are probably outraged of this portrayal of Lena, and thinks that she deserves to be punished and that she's irredeemable for what she has done. I hear you, and I respect your opinion. If you really think that way, so be it. But the whole thing about morality is that it's pretty subjective on the whole. Lena, in this story, is what I'd call an anti-villain who's forced into evil. But does she, personally, wants to be evil? No. Can she be redeemed? Some might say no, but personally, I feel, yes. And her redemption doesn't just start in this or the next. It has already begun since the very first chapter. And idk, if you feel that there's no way SuperCorp can happen in this fic because of all that. Well, I'm sorry for wasting your time and I'd suggest you to simply drop this fic. 
> 
> Now that that's finally out of the way, I just want to thank you all for the kudos and the kind comments left in the previous chapter. It really means a lot to me, and I'm just glad to hear that there are some people out there who actually enjoy reading this. Though, at this point, I kinda really want to get this story out of the way and start on something lighter and fluffier. But yeah. I'll see you guys soon, hopefully. Feel free to come hit me up on my tumblr @[frostybwitch](http://frostybwitch.tumblr.com/) if you're not over this whole Lena discourse. Alright, bye!


	7. interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do you care anyway? In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a Luthor, and you’re…” Lena gestures vaguely to the symbol on Kara’s chest, looking pained, her eyes doleful and all-so very sombre. 
> 
> And it’s the probably most sober Kara has seen her the entire night. 
> 
> “You’re a Super, Kara.”

As it goes without saying, things haven’t exactly been the same between the two of them ever since.

Things have changed, albeit nothing too drastic, more like an imperceptible sort of a shift – something so subtle that one might have to squint to even notice. But Kara knows. It’s there. She can feel it; sees it in Lena’s smiles, the way it doesn’t reach her eyes as frequently as it does before. The way she flinches subtly at Kara’s touch, sometimes even pulling away as if she had been burnt by invisible flames. Of how her eyes would glaze over mid-conversation, looking distrait and absent.

Kara knows.

It doesn’t take a genius to put one and one together to figure out that Lena is distancing herself away from her.

While the exact reason as to why she’s doing this is still pretty much up in the air for now, unascertained unless stated otherwise, Kara does have a bit of an inkling – as if it wasn’t obvious enough already. What with all that has happened between them recently.

And in spite of everything, it still hurts.

Well, of course, it would. They are still friends after all.

Or at least to Kara, they still are.

She doesn’t know for sure what is going through Lena’s mind, but the fact that she hasn’t come forth to outrightly ask Kara to back off once and for all, is more than telling enough for Kara to keep on trying. To keep on having the faith that they ****_will_**** push through these tough times and make it out stronger than before.

Because even when all seems bleak.

Even when it feels like they’re just barely hanging by a thread – their friendship dangling precariously on a frayed end – Kara is still not letting go.

If anything, she’s going to hold on. Tighter than before.

Not so much for herself.

But for Lena.

Because right now.

What Lena needs the most is this.

A support of a friend.

Though honestly speaking, after all that went down at Lena’s apartment the last time, Kara doesn’t exactly trust her to be in the most stable of headspaces at the present moment.

And for every time Lena doesn’t pick up her calls, or if she even so much as take an absurd amount of time to reply to her texts, the irrational part of Kara begins to worry.

Anything can happen.

She could have hurt herself again.

Maybe even lapse into another panic attack.

Or fall into another bout of inconsolable hysteria once more.

Kara can’t help it.

It just worries her.

And so, it has ultimately boiled down to this whole push-and-pull shtick between them.

_Push._

Where Lena begins to pick up her calls a lot less often, text a little less frequent. She cancels on her more often now, stays back late for work on a regular basis as she buries herself in mountains after mountains of documents and business proposals.

_Pull._

In response, Kara only comes on stronger; dropping by at LCorp unannounced for lunch, picking her up after work for dinner and even crashing by her place every now and then just to check in on her, with the excuse of having a ‘movie night’ to de-stress.

And it’s through these little unexpected drop-ins of hers that Kara begins to learn of Lena’s various bad, and mostly worrying, habits.

She skips her meals; and apparently, it has been a recurring issue stemming back from her time as LuthorCorp’s CFO, or so her assistant – Jess – has reluctantly divulged. Ever since her move to National City, her meals had noticeably gotten a lot regular – what with their weekly lunch get-together and all. Though, now with her purported heavier workload, it would appear that she had unfortunately regressed back to her old habits of neglecting her meals all over again.

All of which, ties in with her tendency to overwork herself.

No surprise there. Lena has always been somewhat of a hard worker. No doubt anyone with a pair of eyes can see that. Though it would be nice if she could take it easy once in a while.

And then there’s the whole entire drinking matter on the other end of things.

As it turns out, Lena dropping her glass and subsequently injuring herself is apparently a one-off thing.

But the drinking…

Not so much.

Initially, Kara honestly hadn’t given much thought to the alcohol display Lena had in her lounge – that shelf atop her television set with the extensive collection of whiskey, scotch and gin all lined up in a neat row. She had remembered shrugging it off the few times it had caught her eye where she had been down at Lena’s place, merely thinking it to be purely for decorative purposes only.

But then, there’s that alcohol stash in her office too. Though, at that time Kara had the belief that it was the norm for most hard-pressed CEOs running large corporations, and hadn’t been too concerned about of it, considering Cat Grant has had her fair share of alcohol stashes in her office as well.

But now, she knows better.

“You need to stop doing this to yourself.” Kara says, her voice a faltering quiet, just barely above a whisper; just barely hiding the teetering stab of pain she feels as her footsteps come to a silent halt before the dishevelled CEO sitting askew on her rugged floor of her lounge, slouching over her bottle of brandy.

Kara frowns.

She had been right in trusting her instincts to drop by Lena’s place today.

The second she had landed on her balcony, only to be faced with the sight of a dimly lit apartment, she had known in an instant that something was off.

Silently, she watches Lena as she idly swirls at the amber liquid in her glass before downing it all in one careless swig.

“Doing what?”

Lena merely throws her a brief glance over her shoulder, her brow raising almost in challenge, before moving in to fill up her glass once more.

Kara sighs, her frown deepening.

It’s basically all that she’s been doing the past couple of nights. Frowning, sighing and watching Lena drink in silence, maybe occasionally holding her hair back while she proceeded to puke buckets into her toilet when it all gets too much for her. And then cleaning up after her, and tucking her in for the night.

Rinse and repeat.

But it’s really not like she hadn’t been trying to stop her from drinking or anything.

More like, she can’t.

Because apparently, Lena can be especially stubborn when she wants to, and there’s no stopping her once her mind is set on something. Even with super Kryptonian strength and speed, she is somehow still able to get past Kara, solely through wits alone, no doubt putting her genius-level intellect to use. Albeit all for the wrong reasons.

And at one point, Kara simply gave up.

If she can’t stop Lena from drinking, then the least she can do is to watch over her when it happens, lest she does something in her drunken stupor that could have her potentially injuring herself once again. Which apparently happens a lot more frequently than Kara would have imagined.

Where just the other day, there had been a harrowing incident with a bottle of scotch, and if it weren’t for Kara’s quick intervention, Lena would have most likely come away with a broken foot.

Humans are just so fragile that way, and just thinking about it, stresses Kara out as it is.

But she digresses.

“Doesn’t matter, you’re drunk.”

Gently easing into the spot beside Lena, she surreptitiously slides the glass of brandy away and out of Lena’s grasp when she’s not looking.

“You smell like smoke.” Lena mutters, sniffing and wrinkling at her nose in distaste, albeit still scooting aside to make room for Kara on the floor nonetheless.

What a spectacle they would make if the press could see them now.

Supergirl, with her cape crumpled beneath her, sitting cross-legged beside a dishevelled, half-wasted Luthor.

It’s somewhat of a sad sight, really.

“There was an emergency with a burning building right before I decided to come by to– Hey!” Kara cuts herself off abruptly, brows furrowing in disapproval when Lena blatantly reaches out for her glass of brandy.

Without missing a beat, she slaps at her hand before she can get any closer, and snatches the glass off the table with one swift swipe.

She holds up a chiding finger at Lena. “No drinking.”

“If not what?” Lena chuckles bitterly, and somehow manages to seemingly materialise another glass out of thin air. Without preamble, she begins filling up her newly acquired glass. “You’ll spank me?” She sneers, lips curling on one end in a twisted smirk that is nearly a mirror of her step-mother’s.

Nearly.

She gestures wildly with her hands, brandy swishing about haphazardly in her glass, and Kara tries not to cringe when some ends up splashing down onto her carpeted flooring. “Maybe toss me into a prison cell for me to rot for all of eternity?” She throws her head back in a wry laugh.

And once upon a time, her tone would have been laced with tease, her green eyes sparkling brightly with that usual glint of mischief and mirth while she made light of her situation with an airy wave of the hand.

She still does, though. Time to time. On some of her better days.

Days where Kara would spend pretending that everything between them is alright, and nothing has changed.

But days like that are hard to come by – in some sense, it’s almost a rarity even.

As Kara would soon come to realise that Lena’s whole flirtatious-teasing front was really just a means to cover up the deep self-loathing she has for herself. She honestly never would have thought, what with the way Lena has always been so put together, and well-poised as she is.

But it’s really in these trying times when she gets to see the cracks in her impregnable mask – of how they crumple and eventually fall apart before her.

Just like now.

“You’re drunk.” Kara grouses, staring pointedly at Lena.

Yet, even when she’s drunk, she still looks so poised and composed, it’s almost hard to tell. If Kara’s keener senses hadn’t picked up on the imperceptible slur of her words and the subtle flush of her cheeks, she’d probably never would have known.

Lena chuckles, shrugging heedlessly at her shoulders as she tips at her glass.

“I never said I wasn’t–”

Seizing the opportunity with her super speed, Kara makes to steal the glass off Lena in a blink of an eye, slamming it down onto the coffee table with an audible ‘clink’. Though, it would have appeared that Lena had been faster, in a sense that she has already downed her glass in another shot.

“I said, stop drinking.” Kara hisses, fixing Lena with a stern glower like a disapproving parent who’s disappointed in their misbehaving child.

Glancing at her hand that is now glaringly devoid of her tumbler glass from before, Lena breathes a little sigh, her shoulder slumping slightly. Languidly, she leans back on her palms, and cocks her head up at Kara, albeit goadingly.

“Now, why shouldn’t I?”

“Just because.”

She lets loose a mirthless laugh, and in a speed of light, seizes a hold of the half-empty bottle of brandy off the coffee table before Kara can even react.

“Wrong answer.”

And with that, she tips the bottle over, taking a long purposeful swig right out of it.

“Lena!” Kara exclaims in reproach, brows pinching and lips pursed thinly into a deep, deep frown.

Her fingers tighten briefly over the tumbler glass she has in her grasp, and at the resulting hairline crack in the glass, she has to remind herself that she needs to keep her emotions in check. With a calming breath, Kara loosens her hold over the glass.

But Lena merely raises a taunting brow at her, smacking her lips loudly in turn. “You know you can’t stop me, Kara.” She lilts, and flashes a devilish grin at Kara.

Wagging the bottle of brandy in her hand, she continues to badger Kara on by chugging down yet another gulp of brandy, her eyes never once leaving Kara’s form.

Gritting at her teeth, Kara finally has had enough.

With a guttural growl, she lunges forward, throwing herself over the slightly smaller woman, and essentially trapping her between her arms as she forcefully pins her down onto the ground.

“Hand it over.”

Lena hums in dissent, tugging and testing at her arms that are held down solidly by Kara in a firm grip. And with gravity and the added force of super strength against her, she’s very much at Kara’s mercy.

Though she still refuses to relent, her grip tightening around the neck of the brandy bottle.

Kara could see the cogs turning and spinning in her head, her genius mind trying to piece out the perfect escape route given her current position, but as far as Kara is aware, she has that all covered for now.

Or not.

If that smirk on Lena’s face is anything to go by.

With a start, Lena lurches on forward, arching up against Kara such that the swell of her breasts presses just right into her, as she makes to drag her lips up the column of Kara’s neck in a slow, but deliberate move, eliciting a trail of goosebumps as she goes.

“Make me.” Lena whispers lowly, albeit sultrily, her breath washing and lingering across the shell of Kara’s ear, sending a ripple of pleasure straight down her spine – traveling from her head to her shoulders, and finally down below.

And then, she travels down lower, planting a hot, wet kiss along the underside of Kara’s jaw, and then another.

And another.

“Cat got your tongue?” Lena giggles, nipping at the sensitive patch of skin along Kara’s throat, earning herself a hitched gasp.

Almost as if she’s trying to coax the heat that is steadily building up in Kara’s nether regions, she grinds her hip sharply up against the Super above her.

And that gets her a moan.

“I said…”

Kara releases a shuddering breath, finding her resolve – and her strength – quickly diminishing under Lena’s extremely distracting ministrations. She had half the mind to just give in to her innermost desires right there and then, and to simply indulge herself, diving in headfirst into all of this.

But it’s only after catching that distinct heady whiff of brandy, rolling off of Lena’s breath and body, where she finally snaps out of it.

This is not what she wants.

This is not what Lena wants.

Lena is drunk.

And Kara is damned well not about to let her do something she’ll regret the morning after if she can.

So she manages to plough through, albeit waveringly, and steels herself. With all the willpower imbued in her being, she pries herself away from Lena, setting a good respectable amount of distance between their bodies, her hands gripping firmly at her shoulders.

“Stop.” She pants, her breaths coming out in rags as she glares down fiercely at the woman lying beneath her. Her body is still tingling from where it had been pressed, flush against Lena – her lips hot against her skin.

She doesn’t even want to imagine how she must look at the moment.

Pupils blown, nostrils flaring and chest heaving.

Though, Lena doesn’t seem to be fairing any better herself, as evident from her shallow breathing and darkened eyes – green eyes so dark, they almost look black under the light.

With a sigh, Lena closes her eyes briefly as her body goes limp beneath Kara. For the first time since they’ve started grappling against the floor, she ceases in her resistance. Though, her grip on the brandy bottle still remains staunchly firm.

“Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t be drinking right now, Kara. Tell me and I will stop.” She peers up at Kara, staring her square in the eye.

For a second, Kara is struck stunned by the flatness of her gaze. The way it looks so… hollow. So empty. It’s almost like something in her had died, shattered irrevocably; the fire Kara sometimes sees in her completely extinguished, and all that’s left is the cooling ashes of her broken remains.

Has she always been this way deep down?

Mistaking Kara’s silence for a lack of answer, Lena drops her gaze with a soft, defeated sigh. She wriggles under Kara’s hold, taking a chance at Kara’s inattention to get up from the position she’s in.

“I thought as much–”

But Kara immediately slams her back down, causing her to cry out in alarm as she looks askance at Kara, brows scrunched in perplexity.

“Because I can’t bear another second seeing you like this!” Kara exclaims, vehemently, blue eyes bright and overwrought with emotions that are threatening to burst free from the cage of her chest.

“You don’t eat. You don’t sleep. And on your off-days, you just drink, drink and drink.”

She purses tightly at her quivering lips, her fingers unconsciously digging into Lena’s shoulders. But even if it hurts, Lena doesn’t show.

“You’re driving yourself into self-destruction and it hurts me physically just watching you behave the way that you do.”

She searches Lena’s eyes – her face – for something. Anything. But once again, she comes up with nothing. Just Lena, lying there, taking it all as it is – unfeeling and empty. Resigned and utterly defeated. Like a mere shell of a doll.

And she thinks she has seen that look on her before.

During their hostile encounters.

And fleetingly in their conversations about her family.

Inwardly, Kara wonders if this is how Lena copes with everything that she does as a Luthor.

Closing off her heart. Her feelings. And everything else.

To become a tool.

A mechanical robot of the Luthors.

But at what cost?

She feels the deep, excruciating twinge in her chest intensifies as she loses her strength in her forearms, crumpling and dropping her forehead down against Lena’s collarbone, taking solace in the warmth in which she radiates.

“You need to stop doing this, Lena.” Kara implores, brokenly, voice quavering. “Please.”

After a long beat, Kara hears a quiet, near imperceptible sigh beneath her, followed closely by the rustle of clothes, and then a muted ‘thump’ against the ground.

She raises her head, in time to watch the bottle of brandy that Lena has been mulishly latching on to all this time, fall out of her grasp and roll off across the carpeted flooring.

When it suddenly hits Kara then.

The bottle has been empty from the start.

“Why do you care anyway?” Lena murmurs dejectedly under her breath, in a voice so soft that only Kara’s super hearing can pick up.

She makes to sit herself upright, and this time Kara lets her.

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a Luthor, and you’re…” She gestures vaguely to the symbol on Kara’s chest, looking pained, her eyes doleful and all-so very sombre.

And it’s the probably most sober Kara has seen her the entire night.

“You’re a ****_Super_**** , Kara.” She laughs sardonically, shaking her head as if finding their whole situation ludicrous.

Which probably is, given the way things are.

But that’s beside the point.

Pursing at her lips, Kara pushes on forward, clutching at Lena’s hands, cradling them delicately between her palms. “You’re Lena.” She answers resolutely, following after Lena’s averted eyes. “And you’re my friend.” She gives her hands an earnest squeeze, and when that finally manages to get her to look up, albeit tentatively, Kara offers her a soft smile in turn.

And in those stormy green eyes, for a brief second, Kara thinks she might have caught a fleeting reflection of hope – like a beacon of light floating in an endless sea of darkness – in them, which only spurs her on further.

“So please, stop pushing me away.” Kara murmurs quietly, reaching out, her fingers gently grazing across the swell of Lena’s cheek in the most tender of touch that has Lena leaning in.

“I don’t know what it’ll take for you to believe me. But I do care for you.”

And almost as if a switch had been flipped, the hope in Lena’s eyes dissipates in an instant. Her posture stiffens, the muscles in her shoulders tensing as she rights herself up properly, looking as much regal for someone as drunk as herself.

With a quivering breath, she draws away from Kara’s touch.

“I’m tired.” Lena says, and Kara doesn’t miss the subtle warble to her voice – the bristle of... ****_something_**** … that Kara can’t exactly put a finger to.

Her eyes are a tumultuous shade of frigid green, and her guard is up, metaphorical steel walls encased in barbed wires erected, clearly to ward Kara off. But on top of everything, she looks completely drained. Weary.

Bone-weary.

“I’m going to bed.”

Lena rises to her feet, staggering slightly as Kara instinctively moves in to catch her. But she holds a hand out towards her at the very last second, keeping her at length before moving to stumble in the general direction of her bedroom.

“Fly home, Kara.” She murmurs morosely, tossing one last glance over her shoulder at Kara, her lips pressed thin into a rueful smile.

“Fly home.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so. Where do I begin? Yeah, I know I'm kinda late with the update for this one, so lets just start with that first. To be honest, I wasn't intending to get this update out today or anytime soon actually. So I definitely rushed this one out in a span of a few days basically, and I should apologise in advance for any mistakes. And speaking of updates, I'm afraid that I might have to give next week and the week after that a miss.
> 
> Don't worry, it has nothing to do with the whole debacle in the comment section with the criticisms and stuff. Just that, I'll be a lot busier in the coming weeks, flying back to Australia and moving houses, and what not. So I might not be able to find time to write then, but I will certainly try my best to do so in my free time. Though, honestly, I was expecting this story to be a lot shorter with it intending to be a summer project for me to kill time before Uni starts up again. But looking at the way things are now... I might have to juggle writing this on top of Uni soon, so I hope you guys will be able to bear with the slower updates in the future. 
> 
> But anyhow. I just want to say that I'm extremely grateful for all the kind and wonderful comments and feedback in the previous chapter. And it warms my heart to see such overwhelming support and love from you guys for something I just kinda write for fun to pass time and all. So yeah, thank you for all the kudos and comments, and hopefully I'll see you guys soon. Much love xox.


	8. solace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena hazards a tentative glance up at her, a grimly mocking smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Even after all that, you’d protect a Luthor?”
> 
> “No,” Kara urges herself forward, further closing the gap between them.
> 
> “I’d protect you.”

Little did Kara know that the whole drunken episode from the night before would be the last she’d see of Lena.

Yes, at it turns out, her worst nightmare has finally been realised.

Lena disappears, yet again.

And likewise, similar to the last time, she’s gone without a trace. Without warning, without notice.

Nothing.

Just…

Gone.

She had completely stopped answering Kara’s calls. The last text message she had gotten from Lena was a thumbs-up emoji responding to Kara’s question to whether or not she was feeling alright after an entire night of drinking, and nothing else following after that.

Not even when Kara had sent her a picture of an adorable little puppy she had come across on the street, which should have gotten her a long string of heart-eyes emojis, knowing Lena’s weakness for cute animals and the likes. But even that had elicited nothing.

Not even a beep.

Just straight up radio silence.

Figuring that perhaps Lena could have just been caught up with meetings and paperwork for the day, Kara had simply let it slide. But when a day, turned to two – turned to three – with no form of contact or communication from the young CEO, whatsoever, Kara began to worry.

As it would appear that her worry was apparently well founded when she had turned up to LCorp, unannounced, purely on an impulse, only to find Lena’s spot behind her sleek white office desk taken up by someone other than herself. By some tall, tanned, lanky brunette – whom Kara will only later belatedly recognise to be Lena’s CFO – picking through her usual monstrous pile of endless paperwork and business proposals.

And while Jess, Lena’s tiny but ever so intimidating P.A extraordinaire, seemed like she might have a clue to her boss’ whereabouts, she had remained tight-lipped about it. Unfaltering like an impenetrable fortress, she had dodged past Kara’s constant probing, and had promptly sent her off on her way with an exasperated sigh and a dark, menacing glower that had the Luthor brand plastered all over.

Knowing when she had struck a nerve, and in no way wanting to incur the wrath of Lena’s scary P.A, Kara had backed off immediately, albeit undeterred to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Well, at least Jess didn’t seem to be the least bit worried about Lena’s sudden disappearance, which probably meant that wherever Lena was at the moment, she must probably be safe. Though, it still does little to allay Kara’s fears and worries for the most part.

Next up on her list was Lena’s apartment.

As soon as she was done with work for the day, she had flown right over and was mildly relieved to find that the door to her balcony had been left unlocked.

Though, she didn’t know what was worse.

Finding Lena absent, or the fact that everything was left exactly as it was the night Kara had last seen her.

With that empty bottle of brandy sitting, askew atop her coffee table, flanked by the two tumbler glasses, both of which had been stained amber by whatever leftover brandy that was left to dry over in the following few days, unwashed and untouched.

And then there was that distinct blotch on her carpeted floor from her spill too.

A quick duck into Lena’s bedroom showed that her bed was left unmade, sheets rumpled and strewn messily across her mattress.

It was like she had just upped and gone. Vanished completely into thin air. Dropped right off the edge of the earth when Kara hadn’t been looking.

And now…

And now.

Kara takes a deep sigh as she surveys the state of Lena’s apartment with a heavy heart, shoulders slumping steeply. She slides an idle finger down along the coffee table in the lounge, pinching at it and sighing some more when she notices the thin layer of dust that clings onto her fingertip.

She frowns, rubbing at her temples vexedly. Right by the open balcony to the lounge, she can hear the soft fluttering of the curtains, swaying to the gentle waft of the midnight breeze that is coming in. And back in the kitchen – the rhythmic drip of Lena’s leaky tap, echoing away in the darkness.

The one stupid tap that drives Kara absolutely bonkers each time she’s here, which Lena so stubbornly refuses to fix.

 

* * *

 

 

_(‘Are you ever going to do something about that tap?’ Kara scowled, pulling a face at the incessant pit-pat resounding off the base of the sink, even long after the tap had been turned off._

_‘No, it makes for a nice ambiance when I’m alone, drinking my coffee like this.’_

_Lena merely took a pointed sip out of her cuppa, raising an amused brow at Kara, and if it weren’t for the mirth sparkling brightly in her eyes, Kara would have thought she was being serious._

_‘Why do you ask?’_

_‘Well, if you’re not going do anything about it,’ Cracking at her neck, Kara readied herself, blue eyes glowing bright with a red-hot incandescent heat. ‘I will.’_

_Lena gasped, eyes narrowing in warning._

_‘Kara Zor-El, you wouldn’t dare.’_

_Kara only flashed her a cheeky grin._

_‘Watch me.’)_

 

* * *

 

 

All of which only brings to fore the apparent emptiness of the house, devoid of life – the painful reminder of Lena’s hollow absence.

And it stings like no other.

“Where are you, Lena?” Kara whispers brokenly into the night, cradling after a cracked tumbler glass, her mind teeming full of images from that very night.

Flashes of Lena scowling, looking sullen and morose, and very, very drunk. A quick blur of her signature devilish smirk. Flushed cheeks, darkened green eyes. The intoxicating scent of brandy rolling off of her breath.

Soft lips hot against her skin.

Hope.

And then…

Darkness.

A deep unending darkness paired with a sour tinge of melancholy.

 

‘ _Fly home, Kara.’_

 

Thumbing gingerly at the hairline fracture on the glass, Kara wonders if it was something she had said.

 

* * *

 

A week and a half later see Lena still missing; gone, and evidently absent.

A week and a half filled with nothing but worry and disquietude for Kara.

And eventually, the hours, the days, and the time all blur away into one ugly grey mess, and all Kara can do is to simply wait for it to end.

It never did.

There’s never been a day that had gone by where she had stopped thinking about Lena.

Where she had stopped craning her neck out in crowds for a glimpse of her, or waiting by the entrance of their local supermarket, hoping that she would suddenly pop by for their usual grocery night; spotting a large grin while she makes an airy joke about how she had never left in the first place. And they would laugh and chat, and everything would go back to the way it is between them. No biggie.

But Kara knows it’s all just wishful thinking.

Her phone had been painfully quiet ever since, laying mostly dormant in her pocket and lighting up only so frequently when Alex, or anyone from the Super Friends texts – or when duty calls. Each time her phone so much as buzzes, her heart would stop, catching fleetingly in her chest before swelling ten-folds in anticipation. And whenever she realises it’s anyone but Lena, a part of her dies a little inside.

It’s a tragic cycle, really.

Though, she tries not to let all that restlessness rear its ugly head too much for it to get in the way of things. She ****_is_**** Supergirl after all, and when it comes to the whole world-saving gig, there’s little to no room for distractions.

Or at least ideally.

With half an ear out on the ongoing debrief, Kara twiddles around with her phone idly, playing with its button as her lock-screen flickers on and off.

“So the lab report for the tissue samples we’ve gathered from the deceased aliens of the Cadmus raid is out, and I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

At that, Kara momentarily stills in her fidgeting, righting her spine a little straighter in her chair, her posture stiffening, as with everyone else in the room.

The silence hangs in the air; almost like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters onto the ground, and for a brief second no one moves, much less breathe.

“As expected, under the hands of Cadmus, those aliens didn’t just die from natural causes. There had been a clear indicative pattern in the report of the deceased aliens that suggests the Luthors weren’t just plainly trying to figure out how and what makes them tick.”

All eyes are on J’onn, whose face is grim, and especially dour this morning. If Kara were feeling any playful today, she would have likened him to Hades, stoically giving out decrees of death. Though, in their current situation, it doesn’t seem like she’s too far off with that comparison.

“They were trying to build on a virus that would kill them all off as rapidly and efficiently as possible.”

“A bio-weapon against alien-kind…” Alex murmurs thoughtfully from the side, with a distinct distressed kink to her brows.

The look on J’onn’s face darkens further, his frown deepening. “Yes, that is correct.” With a solemn nod and silent gesture to the side, sheets of the resulting lab report begin its slow dissemination amidst the congregation of DEO agents.

“As of right now, this is our only lead as to what the Luthors might be up to in the coming few months. Our main priority is to create a working cure against this virus in the event of it ever being released publically. And I’ll ask you all to be on high alert for any alien-trafficking cases that could possibly lead back to Cadmus or the Luthors in any way. That will be all for today. Meeting adjourned.”

Taking that for cue, the crowd around the command centre disperses without missing a beat, agents from varying departments scattering back to their assigned posts, albeit sharing that same glumly dismal expression on their faces brought on by J’onn’s bleak news.

Kara sighs, long and weary, eyes downcast, looking – but at the same time not quite looking – at the piece of document gripped between her fingers. Her thoughts are a whirl, swirling with the memories of her time at the Cadmus lab.

Memories she so desperately wishes she can forget.

It suddenly strikes her then that there could be a possibility that Lena’s sudden disappearance could be linked to a Luthor-related issue.

Leaving so abruptly without a single trace – without any indication of a struggle, whatsoever. Almost as if someone had just stole her away into the night, whisk her off to somewhere far, far away, where no prying eyes could reach.

The more Kara thinks about it, the more it’s starting to seem likely the case.

Though, for Lena’s sake, she prays it’s not.

“So… what’s up?”

At the sound of Alex’ voice coming up from right beside her, Kara startles bodily. So consumed with her thoughts, she didn’t even hear her footsteps nor sense her presence until she is standing right there. Something that almost never happens, what with Kara keener Kryptonian senses.

“Sorry, what?”

“You just seem a little out of it during the briefing, I was just wondering if everything’s alright.”

Alex purses thinly at her lips, nearly bordering on a frown. There’s a sharp glint to her eyes as she regards Kara meaningfully, as if she knows exactly what is up. Like she can see right through her into her soul like glass, and Kara hates that she knows her so well like that.

She resumes her fidgeting, heedlessly twirling her phone on its corner against the desk, trying to play it off cool. “Yeah, everything’s good.” Kara shrugs, rolling her shoulders breezily in the similar manner she’s seen Lena done a couple of times.

This time, Alex does frown.

“I’m sorry, let me rephrase that again. You’ve been out of it for the ****_entirety_**** of past two weeks. Are you okay?”

And she also hates how she is always so concerned for her despite her invulnerability and powers. But Kara supposes it’s what sisters do. To worry for each other incessantly over the smallest of matters. Such is the way of things that comes with being a family.

Not that Kara is exempted from it. She does worry about Alex a fair bit enough, much more so, given the nature of her work and the fact that she is as vulnerable as the next living human – combat ready or not.

“I’m fine,” Kara forces a laugh, fanning her off easily. Though, Alex refuses to let up, the worry-lines marring her face only seeming to plunge the knife of guilt further into Kara’s chest.

She did promise to not leave her in the dark a while back ago, after all.

And now she’s doing exactly just that.

But can anyone blame Kara?

She can only imagine the outrage and disapproval from Alex if she were to ever find out about her budding… whatever it is that is going on between her and Lena.

No. Alex would definitely not hear of it.

The second Lena’s last name is to fall past Kara’s lips, she won’t.

“I’ve just been a little swamped down at work lately. Kinda’ hitting a writer’s block at the moment and it’s doing me no good with this article Snapper wants in by the end of the week.” Kara explains, putting on a tight smile and a sigh for a more convincing show.

It’s not exactly a lie, though it isn’t anything close to truth either, and she hopes that Alex would at least take the bait.

She does, thankfully.

“Oh, okay.” Alex sighs, relieved, though it doesn’t completely wash the worry right off her face just yet. Yep, she’s definitely going to get those premature frown-lines that Eliza’s been going off about lately. “Just… try not to work yourself to the ground. The DEO still needs you around as Supergirl.” She jests, punching Kara light-heartedly on the shoulder.

A punch that Kara feels, almost quite physically as though she had been gutted right down the middle.

Because whoa does guilt sure pack a punch.

Kara forces on a chuckle, crossing her fingers that she doesn’t come off as constipated. “Right, of course.”

 

* * *

 

It’s the familiar set of footsteps building up towards the door that first breaks Kara’s out of her brooding. Something she’s been particularly prone to during her visits to Lena’s empty apartment.

In the days of her absence, she has picked up something closely resembling a ritual – a routine of sorts. In which, she’d come by, rain or shine after work, and she would clean; wiping down the surfaces of Lena’s furniture free of dust and re-aligning the empty, but washed tumbler glasses along the shelf where it belongs in the kitchen. Though, for whatever reasons, that one cracked glass can’t seem to escape her notice, always there within her eye-line – always there at the back of her mind like the fractured friendship she has with Lena.

But she digresses.

With a start, Kara ceases all movement, leaning forward in her seat on the lounge, her heart jumping straight to triple time in her chest as she stares hard at the door, its handle jiggling, paired with the tell-tale jangle of keys behind it.

She doesn’t dare to use her x-ray vision. Doesn’t think her heart can handle the bout of disappointment if it weren’t–

_Lena._

For a split of a second, Kara thinks she might have seen a spectre.

Or an eerie likeness of Lena pushing right through the doorway with her suitcase in tow; her hair down, falling carelessly over a blazer-cladded shoulder with not a single strand out of place, lips as red as the blood that flows through her veins, and eyes a startling shade of forest green.

“Oh!”

At the sight of Kara standing in her lounge, in the middle of the darkness, wide-eyed and jaw slacked, Lena gives a violent jolt, her hand flying reflexively over to her chest.

But once she had gotten past the initial state of surprise, she merely breathes a sigh, looking as weary as Kara remembers her to be. “It’s you.” She murmurs, shoulders slumping slightly, lips tugging into a thin frown as she easily brushes past Kara indifferently.

Kara flounders, both mentally and physically. She’s still trying to process the fact that after two full weeks of complete radio silence, Lena is right there, standing in front of her. Close enough to touch.

Safe.

And very alive.

“Where have you been?” She finally manages to get out, desperately trailing after Lena through the apartment like a lost puppy dog.

With the very question she’s been meaning to ask all week out on the floor, sees herself releasing her proverbial dam of verbal word vomit, which escapes her in one long frantic breath.

“I couldn’t find you anywhere. Not at your office. Not at your apartment. Not even at Noonan’s or our usual supermarket. You wouldn’t pick up any of my calls, or reply to my texts. It was like you were gone. Like dropped-off-the-face-of-the-earth gone – ****_gone_****.”

“Would you have believed me if I told you I was hiding away in my secret hideout scheming and plotting over the destruction of all of alien-kind?” Lena briefly pauses in her flurry of activity to throw Kara a pointed glance over her shoulder, wry smirk fixedly in place, and brow arching almost sardonically. “Hmm?”

Kara knows it’s meant to be a jest – solely nothing more than just a joke. But her tone is unusually clipped and her eyes are cold and steely, devoid of that mischievous twinkle she gets whenever she’s feeling especially frisky and playful. So she can’t help but wonder if there is indeed some truth to her words after all. But she quickly shakes that thought off, not wanting to delve too deep into it, lest that it’s true.

She purses at her lips, footsteps scurrying after to match Lena’s who has been flittering about the entire apartment the second she had stepped foot into it. Setting stuff down and swiping things off the counter, not staying in one place for too long. It’s almost as if she’s trying to create a pretence of preoccupation to shake Kara off her tail. Though, knowing Lena, it might very well be the case.

“Where have you been?” Kara repeats herself, this time with a little bit more force, her blue eyes flaring slightly in conviction.

Lena merely shrugs, brisking straight into her room. “Somewhere,” she answers airily, as Kara follows her right in before she can even slam the door in her face. (As if she can, with Kara’s super Kryptonian speed and all.)

“Are you going to tell me?”

“Maybe.”

Again with those exasperatingly vague responses.

Kara grits at her teeth, sucks in a calming breath and tries to reel in the frustration that is steadily building up within her. She wants to reach for her temples – purely out of vexation. But something tells her that it is exactly what Lena wants to get out of her. To get under her skin, ruffle her feathers and rile her up to the point where she will leave on her own violation.

_Luthors and their underhanded methods of getting what they want._

Kara squares her shoulders, putting her foot down.

Because enough is enough.

She’s not going to let this be a replay of the events from the night before.

“Lena.”

The only sign of Lena’s displeasure is in the subtle thinning of her lips and the imperceptible clench of her jaw before she slips out of her blazer and her heels, and flings them aside into a corner, albeit defiantly.

“Kara.” She ripostes back in turn, her stare equally flinty and unfaltering; her chin tilted, arms crossed primly over her chest and brows raised in challenge.

For a long unblinking minute, their gazes remain transfixed on one another, as the both of them adamantly refuse to back down. But knowing Lena’s stubborn streak and how far she’s willing to go, just to prove a point, Kara ends up relenting, being the first to break.

_Because the last time she had pushed too far…_

Kara swallows, blocking out treacherous thoughts of soft lips and soft curves against her own.

She takes an imploring step forward towards her. “Please, Lena.” She beseeches, softening the steel in her gaze, baring her heart out to her in hopes that this approach would do better instead. “I’ve been worried sick about you all week.”

And thankfully, it does.

Lena visibly wavers in her resolve. Her eyes are now downcast, a murky mash of green, blue and grey – conflicted, just like the war of emotions marring her face. There’s a silent moment where she stands, perfectly stock-still under the dim glow of the light, unmoving like a marble statue.

But Kara knows, sees it from the tiny nibble of her bottom lip – a movement so inconspicuous that it would have flown by unnoticed if Kara hadn’t been paying attention – that she’s, in fact, mulling it through, over and over again, in that precious little mind of hers.

When at last, Lena finally gives; her shoulders slumping, her body deflating in one long exhale.

“I was busy recuperating in a hospital down in Metropolis after being shot at during a charity gala event.” She admits quietly. So quietly that it would have been completely inaudible by human standards, so much so that even Kara had to strain her ears to make out the mumble of her speech.

And when the words finally hit her like a ton of bricks, her blood immediately freezes over to ice, draining right off from her face.

“What?” Kara croaks, her throat turning awfully paper dry, clamming up as she watches Lena swivel sharply away from her to face her dresser, blatantly busying herself with the unhooking of her exorbitant diamond earrings.

Though, she doesn’t miss the faint tremor of her fingers as she does so.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kara asks, albeit in a tiny quavering voice that cracks on its end. Broken, and lost to the fleeting breeze that flutters through the open window of Lena’s room.

Even though she hadn’t been knifed in the chest, it certainly feels like she had. Like someone had just carved her heart out and left her completely empty and hollow inside.

She doesn’t really know what to feel. Doesn’t know what to think.

On one end, there’s hurt, shock and pain.

And on the other end – a bone-chilling numbness.

Lena shrugs, though still not quite meeting Kara’s eyes. “It just didn’t seem necessary at that time.” And it only serves to plunge that knife further into her chest, twisting it even.

Kara winces. Her fists are clenched, knuckles painted a deathly shade of white, trembling, as her fingers dig deep into her palms, enough to elicit a jolt of pain through her forearm – enough to ground her, albeit marginally.

She slouches forward, burying her face deep into her hands, and expels a shaky breath, feeling the rattle of her heart against her ribs as she does so.

“Doesn’t seem necessary, she says.” Kara echoes bitterly, not knowing if she should laugh or cry.

Maybe cry.

She wonders what would Lena do if she were to burst into tears right there and then. Would she simply brush her crying off as airily as she has done with everything else so far?

Probably.

As if on cue, Lena chuffs a wry chuckle.

“I supposed my mother must have paid good money to keep this whole incident under wraps for National City’s ace reporter to not even get in on this scoop.”

And she can just hear the dry irony in her voice. The little sad, rueful smile that sends a million needles pricking at her heart.

Kara starts, raising her head sharply, blue eyes blazing, incensed and wrought with distraught as she stares down at the young harried CEO sitting stoically before her dresser.

“You could have ****_died_**** , Lena.” She bites out, the words tasting acerbic on her tongue, setting alight a burning hot trail of lava down her throat when she swallows.

The thought of it.

The thought that that night could have very well been their last.

It scares Kara way more than she can possibly imagine.

Lena’s eyes briefly flicker over to meet hers in the mirror, and for a split of a second, something dark washes over her gaze. But the moment passes when she hangs her head resignedly, closing her jewellery box with a foreboding thud that faintly sounds like the slamming of a coffin hatch in the distance.

“I suppose so.” She murmurs absently, her tone apathetic and terribly non-committal for someone who had barely lived to escape death’s jaw.

Without wasting a second, she’s up on her feet once more, and again, Kara is right on her heels, until she realises that she’s making a beeline for the bathroom. In which case, she then opts to shadow over the open entrance of said-bathroom, watching as Lena proceeds to strip herself off of her armour. Of the layers of makeup she wears to official business matters – when she’s busy rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, or flaunting and asserting her power as a Luthor.

“I– I don’t…” Kara flails, pinching hard at the bridge of her nose. The rise of a potential freak out flaring in her gut, twisting and knotting it with all sorts of horrifying scenarios that could have had happened. “How are you so calm about this?”

She soughs in and out deeply, then paces the short length of Lena’s room, ruffling her fingers through her hair vexedly, dishevelling her seemingly impeccable blonde locks. “Damn it, Lena, you were ****_shot_****. You could have lost your life, I–” Kara catches herself at the last second, stopping short in her pacing as their gazes connect, albeit indirectly through their reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her chest tightens – a twist in her heart that threatens to make its way up to her throat.

_–I could have lost you._

“You could have died.” Kara whispers.

Lena only sighs, soft and wistful, her green eyes bearing this deeply buried sorrow – the same look Kara has seen her worn, one too many times now – as she shakes her head forlornly, stilling in her ministrations. “I’m a ****_Luthor_**** , Kara. This isn’t my first assassination attempt.” And in a quieter, albeit chilling voice, she adds, “And neither will it be my last.”

She blows out a breath, shrugging easily with a wry smile, but the weight of the world is still there, resting, riding heavily upon her narrow shoulders. “Some people just want to see me dead. They think I deserve it.” A quick twist of the tap sends it running, and she averts her eyes down to the clear stream of water, watching it for a passing beat as it all spirals down into the drain. “And well, they’re not wrong for thinking that.”

“Don’t say that.” Kara frowns.

After taking a splash of water to the face, Lena barks an empty, mirthless laugh.

“Come on, Kara. You, of all people, should know better.”

Kara shakes her head vehemently. “No one deserves to die.” The grip she has on the frame of the door tightens only by a slight, and it takes her the imperceptible tell tale crackle of wood splintering between her fingers to remember her strength. “Especially not you, Lena.”

“Even after all my family has done?”

Lena turns pointedly around to face Kara, eyes ablaze with… something. A red-hot fire – a quiet inferno that rages through the forest green of her eyes, seething. Burning. She slants her head at Kara, almost in challenge, lips pressed thinly, twisting into a sneer as she stalks in slowly towards the Super.

“Especially after what ****_I_**** have done?”

She stops, standing eye to eye, just within reach before Kara. Close enough to feel the warmth radiating off from her body, her face merely inches away from hers. Close enough for her to see the tumultuous swirl of emotions lurking behind those stormy depths – pain, sorrow and regret all bleed into one.

“That bullet should have killed me. I was ****_this_**** close to dying, Kara.” She gestures heatedly. “It missed my heart by an inch. An inch. The doctors. Everyone. They all called it a miracle.” She throws her hands up in the air, laughing bitterly as she draws away with a retreating step. Just like that, the seething anger in her eyes winks out, replaced by an infinite sadness. “But you know what? Looks like even Satan doesn’t want me, so here we are.”

Kara clenches her fists, grits at her teeth. She shakes her head once more, again with much fervor. _No._

Because it pains her so much to hear Lena speak of herself this way.

As if she’s waiting, yearning for the day for her too be taken away and swept up into Death’s embrace.

As if she’s nothing but a dead woman walking.

“I should have been there. I would have– No. I could have stopped it.”

Lena hazards a tentative glance up at her, a grimly mocking smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Even after all that, you’d protect a Luthor?”

“No,” Kara urges herself forward, further closing the gap between them, and she itches to touch her – has been since the second she had whisked right into the apartment.

And she does.

She rests her palms up against Lena’s shoulders, and uses it as leverage to bring herself in close.

Closer.

Standing there, in front of Kara, with her face scrubbed raw of her makeup and her hair ruffled and askew, Lena looks nothing more than just a regular twenty-four-year-old in that very moment. Young, and vulnerable.

Not a Luthor.

Not some ruthless CEO spearheading a multi-billion corporation.

But just a simple woman.

"I'd protect _**you**_."

Blue eyes meeting misty green, for the first time that night, the shadows in those viridian ink wells finally part, letting up, and in the midst of all of that darkness, Kara catches the tell tale spark of hope.

Silently, as a delicate finger touches her cheek, drawing her in nearer, she counts down to the sound of her thunderous heartbeat, pounding away in her chest – roaring away in her ears.

Or is that the sound of Lena’s heartbeat she’s hearing instead? She really doesn’t know.

All she does know is that the second she feels the tantalising touch of soft lips against her own, the whole world had instantly fell away into a smouldering ball of heat.

Leaving them two, alone in the universe.

Kara and Lena.

Lena and Kara.

Then, it’s just skin, teeth and lips.

And the feel of Lena’s body writhing underneath hers.

 

* * *

 

It’s only after they’re utterly spent, albeit well satiated for the night and basking in the afterglow of their post-coitus haze that Lena finally speaks up, her voice softly brushing between Kara’s ribs, loosening the stressed muscles around her chest, softening her heart.

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

Fingers tracing idle circles over a naked hip – Lena’s naked hip– Kara gently urges her on. “What?”

“The reason why I didn’t tell you.”

Kara holds her tongue, keeping silent. The ball is still in Lena’s court, and she knows that – doesn’t want to take it from her. Especially not when she’s finally starting to open up.

Lena is a lot like a flower like that, Kara supposes. Or a rose.

Pruned to perfection, petals a bold shade of scarlet and thorns glinting viciously under the light, she's deadly, yet beautiful. But in it all, still holds a certain fragility. A need to be tended to gingerly with a well of patience, and watered down with much love and care to blossom brilliantly. And Kara only wants to be the sun for her.

So she waits.

She doesn’t stop in her ministrations though. Instead, she ghosts her fingers up along the shallow trench of Lena’s back, watching and taking relish in the ripple of shiver and the trail of goose pimples that follow.

Lena snuggles in close, humming at the warm press of their bodies melding against one another, like the two missing pieces of the puzzle coming together at long last.

“At that time, it was the lesser of two evils. On one end, I was lying half-dead in a hospital bed, and on the other – I was simply missing. The second you were to find out, no doubt, you would have freaked out and flown right over. And as much as I wanted you by my side, it would only have complicated things. You know how they always say,” she nuzzles into the crook of Kara’s neck, the tip of her nose brushing, tickling the skin there as she inhales deeply, breathing Kara right in. “'Ignorance is bliss.”

“Still, you should have at least said something.” Kara murmurs quietly, gently sweeping a renegade strand of dark hair out of Lena’s face as she curls it behind her ear affectionately. “I thought the bogeyman had finally stolen you away.”

Lena laughs, the sound like a vibrant ring in the air. A precious little sound that Kara wishes she could keep, stow it away and play it back on a rainy day.

“Did you now?”

She cocks her head up at Kara playfully, teeth bare with a smile. And even looking like a complete dishevelled mess, lying atop of her, she is still every bit as lovely. Breathtaking in every way possibly imagined.

It makes Kara wants to kiss her.

So she leans right in to do exactly that – planting a chaste kiss upon Lena’s lips. A kiss that eventually loses its chastity, growing steadily heated when Lena surges in forward, slanting her lips and deepening their connection in a way that steals the breath right out of Kara.

After an eternity, they finally break apart, foreheads pressed together and noses brushing; the length of Lena’s palm warm against her cheek and her fingers cradling over the nape of a slender neck, toying with the tiny tendrils of hair there.

“Stay with me?” Lena breathes a tremulous whisper against her lips, her green eyes wide and hesitant, albeit still full of dancing lights. Hope. “Please? At least for tonight.”

Kara only smiles, kisses her fleetingly between her brows.

It’s all she needs to hear.

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 


	9. flight of fancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And if there is a peep of chance where she can be with Lena properly. Without all that pretending and sneaking around. Where there can be an actual future between them with a happy ending waiting at the end of the line. Then damned well, will she take it.
> 
> “We can find another way out of this.”

Kara awakens to the ticklish flutter of butterflies across her face one odd morning. A soothing little thing, it is, albeit rather persistent. It teases playfully at her nose, wings flittering against her skin, keeping her tethered down, teetering between the world of wakefulness and sleep.

But as her awareness begins to slip in gradually, she soon realises that it isn’t so much of butterflies, but fingers – Lena’s fingers – ghosting across her countenance with a touch that is so light and fleeting that it makes Kara want to lean in, and maybe chase after it so that she can feel it a little more solidly against her face.

She pretends to stir, taking the chance to nestle herself in closer when Lena’s touch stills sharply, neither pulling away nor drawing in near, merely hovering over the spot between her brows. The stilted breath that follows soon after only further fans the spark of curiosity within Kara as she wonders just what is Lena up to this early in the morning.

After a long unmoving moment, convinced that Kara is still fast asleep, she resumes in her ministrations once more, fingers grazing across Kara’s forehead in a faint sweeping trail.

She pans down the bridge of her nose. Then, the swell of her cheek, the length of her jaw, her chin.

Her lips.

The soft pad of Lena’s thumb gently circles over the plush flesh there contemplatively, and after a long suspended beat, Kara feels her leans in – can smell the faint sweetness of her hair as it tickles her face, her lips hovering just a hair’s breadth away from her own. Stalling.

Hesitating.

All as Kara awaits with bated breath.

And then, ever so gingerly, with utmost tenderness, Lena presses in softly, albeit with a chaste kiss.

“’Morning.” Kara mumbles sleepily, smiling against the faint brush of Lena’s lips.

Lena pulls away then. The sight that greets Kara next as she languidly slides her eyes open is definitely one to marvel.

Sunlight catching in dark dishevelled locks, warming creamy fair skin in muted pale tones of yellow and gold, and lighting her eyes up into this brilliant shade of translucent green, Lena is the very embodiment of a still-life painting breathed into life.

Beautiful in every sense of the word.

And like ever sight of her, it steals Kara’s breath away

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Lena whispers, and ever so gently, she traces over the apple of Kara’s cheek, her touch light and reverent, almost like a flutter against her skin. For a second there, Kara feels like she’s still caught in a dream.

Kara shakes her head, the movement jostling their noses. “Sorta’,” she mumbles, tenderly tucking Lena’s hair behind her ear, drawing her fingers down the angle of her jaw. “It’s still a nice way to wake up, though.”

Lena smiles, chuckling softly under her breath, green eyes bright, soft and glittering beatifically under the warm glow of the morning sun as she peers up at Kara from beneath her fluttering lashes. Unable to hold herself back no longer, Kara cups her in close and kisses her, albeit a little more firmly on the lips this time around. It draws out a quiet sigh from Lena, causing her body to sink in, melding easily into Kara’s.

And just like that, the rest of the world falls away.

She was only supposed to stay for that one night.

It was all that was supposed to be.

A passion-fuelled night, resulting from a break in their defences; from the tide of emotions surging through them, running high in their blood like a drug-induced rush. A night of selfish indulgence, wherein they could take, take and take from each other without heed, without question – without any consequences.

Though, in it all, it was also a night of vulnerability, where they could simply forget about everything else and exist for the moment, losing themselves in one another.

And that was all there was to it.

A one-night stand.

But somehow, one night had turned to two nights, which soon spiralled into three.

Before Kara knows it, she had gone from shyly dropping by Lena’s place after grocery night for coffee and then ****_some_**** , to simply storming her way into Lena’s apartment after an eventful night of crime-stopping, her body still wired and buzzing with adrenaline as she rips and tears past flimsy lingerie to kiss a burning-hot trail down bare skin.

And suddenly, waking up in Lena’s bed has become her new norm.

This.

This is now her new norm.

And she doesn’t know what to make of it.

The line in the sand has blurred away into dust a long time ago, and she honestly can’t tell up from down anymore.

Because sometimes when she turns to look over at Lena, she thinks sees it in her too – feels it in the way in which she touches her, kisses her. Kara recognises it instinctively, knows it with all her heart.

It’s the very same emotion that plagues her periodically, stealing her breath away, squeezing at her chest and filling her up with this all-consuming warmth that tingles through her fingertips, right down to her toes with every look and every smile from Lena.

Yet, she can’t bring herself to utter it – to put a label over it.

Because then, she would be acknowledging it.

And acknowledging it would be as close as to admitting it.

This all-mighty feeling that has been cutting her open nightly, blooming through the cracks of her ribs, growing and growing with each passing moment since the first day they met.

It’s easier this way, Kara supposes. To deny it all and to simply pretend that all… ****_this_**** … doesn’t go beyond passion and lust.

That way, she can keep coming back to Lena.

That way, Lena can keep taking her in with her open arms – and her yielding heat.

All so that they can uphold this precious moment – this farce – between them for just a little bit longer, pretending that they’re no more than just two ordinary people, living life in this ordinary world.

It’s nothing short of a sweet escape, as fleeting as it is. Maybe even a tad cowardly for someone like Kara who’s supposed to be out facing adversaries without so much of a quiver in her bone.

But with Lena in her arms and nothing else between them, Kara wishes – so desperately wishes – that they could pretend forever.

So ****_this_**** …

This will have to do for now.

 

* * *

 

But of course, like every fairy tale, the magic wears off the very second Kara steps into her apartment and crosses eyes with her dearest sister from across the living room, a steaming cup of coffee, cradled between her hands – probably as bitter and black as her eyes are this morning.

And just like that, she’s struck by the cold harsh reality of her current situation, and it’s almost akin to being doused with a pail of ice-cold water. The most sobering, to say the least.

“Where have you been?”

Shoulders sloping with a sigh, it doesn’t take Kara long to lose the bounce in her step as she pushes through into her apartment, dropping her keys and purse in the little alcove by the door before trudging her way into the kitchen.

“A very good morning to you too.” She mutters, pouring herself some coffee from the freshly brewed jar that Alex must have put on just a couple of minutes before her arrival.

Not that coffee actually does anything to help start off her day right, considering it takes a lot of caffeine to give her the same buzz as everyone else. At this point, it’s more out of sheer habit. One that has been cultivated since her youth. Back when she was younger, naïve and desperate to fit in and to be everything that she’s not – human. Though, there’s just something about that nutty-smoky fragrance of freshly grounded coffee beans that invigorates Kara for some reason.

In a way, she supposes that it reminds her of _home_.

She settles herself comfortably into the seat across from Alex by the kitchen island, blatantly ignoring the particular _**look**_ that her sister is giving her as she occupies herself with a noisy slurp of her coffee. Just because she can. What with her Kryptonian physiology making her impervious to any sort of scalding heat.

“So?”

“So what?”

“So I called you four times this morning and you didn’t pick up. And when I decided to drop by, you weren’t home. And then, in you come at quarter past ten, stealing back home in yesterday’s clothes?”

Kara scrunches her face in confusion. “Wait, you called?” At Alex’s no-nonsense flat look, she quickly fishes her phone out of her pocket, and presses at its iconic home button. “Oh. It’s dead.” Though, that is hardly a surprise for Kara anymore, considering the numerous times she had intentionally allowed her battery to drain out whenever she was at Lena’s – all for that brief moment of peace and quiet.

But Alex doesn’t need to know about that.

“That's beside the point.”Alex sighs, frowning deeply as she rubs at the rim of her coffee mug pensively, coffee clearly untouched. “Look, Kara,” she begins quietly. Sombrely.

And instinctively, Kara finds herself stiffening, having picked up on the sudden drop in cadence to her sister’s voice that through experience, has always meant nothing but bad news.

“I know for a fact that you have been spending the night elsewhere lately. Just that I have no idea where. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you or anything. You’re a fully consenting adult and I understand if you have _**needs**_ but…”

Kara swallows nervously, chugging down another gulp of her milky, sweetened brew. From the corner of her eye, she sees the stony expression on Alex’ face softens by just a margin, her shoulders heaving with a short breath, looking like she’s clearly steeling herself for whatever she’s going to be saying next and it only makes Kara all the more anxious – flighty and on edge.

_Has she figured it out? Does she know about her and Lena?_

“Were you at James’?”

If it’s even possible, Kara nearly chokes on her own spit, eyes bulging from its sockets.

“Are you – Are you two together now?”

“Oh Rao, no!” She barks out a laugh despite herself, the absurdity of the entire notion catching her completely off guard. “No, just... No!” The thought of being with James after all that has ever happened between them is ridiculous. Laughable.

A fact that Kara has no problem showing.

But instead of appearing relieved, the frown on Alex’ face only deepens. She scoots in closer towards Kara, leaning in, her expression grim and ever so solemn.

“Is it…” She worries her lip between her teeth and takes in a breath, forehead wrinkling further. “Is it Winn?” Alex hazards in a tiny voice, unable to keep the slight grimace off from her face as she does so.

At that, Kara can contain herself no longer, exploding with a loud roar of laughter that doubles her over, has her clutching at her stomach while she gasps for air.

“Seriously, Alex.” She chortles, snorting out another wet, ugly laugh – so unlike anything anyone would expect out of a superhero like Supergirl – that bubbles through her involuntary. She chances a glance up, catches the pointed look that Alex shoots her and laughs even harder. “James, I get. But ****_Winn_****? Come on!”

“In my defence, he did have that huge crush on you for the longest of time.” Alex rushes out, holding her hands up in surrender.

Kara only makes an unintelligible noise, one that sounds like a cross between an amused snort and a grunt, and fans her sister off with a careless wave of the hand, all previous worry of Alex having pieced one and one together flying straight out of the window.

“So is it anyone that I know?”

“Nope.”

“Are you maybe going to spill and tell me who?”

Kara glances up from her coffee then, looking Alex dead square in the eye and leans in, building in on the suspense.

“Nope.” She says, popping at her lips with a devious little smirk she has no doubt picked up from Lena subconsciously.

“Not even a hint?”

“Na-da.”

Alex huffs, and slumps back into her seat with a theatrical sigh of exasperation. “Fine!” She says, sulkily, throwing Kara a withering look that is easily countered by the shit-eating grin on said-Kryptonian’s face. “But one more question.”

“Go for it.”

“How long has this been going on?”

Now that manages to somewhat wipe that smug look off Kara’s face. She hides her frown behind another gulp of coffee. “Three weeks.” She says, which technically isn’t wrong. Unofficially, they have been sleeping with each other on and off for three weeks.

But how long have they been skirting around their feelings for each other? Looping around with this whole push-and-pull shtick.

Months probably.

But again, Alex doesn’t need to know that.

Alex gives a low whistle. “Three weeks,” she murmurs musingly almost to herself. “Is it anything serious?”

It literally takes everything in Kara to not wince outwardly there and then.

“Nah-uh, you said one question only.”

“Can’t blame me for trying,” Alex says, shrugging nonchalantly as she sips on her coffee. “You barely even sleep in your own bed anymore. I don’t know about you, but to me, I think that speaks volumes.”

Kara purses her lips, her jaw clenching, posture turning a tad rigid. She drops her gaze, focuses it on the thin spiral of smoke steaming from her half-empty coffee mug and pretends to not notice the knowing look in her sister’s eye to no avail.

The touch over her clenched fingers and the soft tenderness of Alex’ gaze only serve to stir up the emotions welling deep inside of her.

“Feel free to bring him home anytime for dinner. Whoever he is, I’m sure I would love to meet him.”

_Oh, the irony._

Kara merely forces on a smile. “Yeah, sure,” she says, as the words burn, singing her tongue on its way out. When she swallows, all she tastes is the acrid bitterness of her fib.

Just how far has she fallen into this tangled web, weaved off from the falsities and deception of her lies.

 

* * *

 

Disaster comes knocking on a beautiful Sunday morning. Quite literally, Kara would say.

Though at that point of time they had no idea just yet, only having begun to stir in their bed, naked bodies curling up against one another – warm touches against bare skin and muffled whispers into mussed hair. The quiet knock on Lena’s door had been a startling jolt back to reality. A painful wake-up call that they both had half the mind to ignore.

“There’s someone at your door.” Kara grouses groggily, hands clawing and clamping down hard on her ears, all in her vain attempt to escape from the persistent raps against wood. But alas, her sensitive Kryptonian hearing prevails.

It’s honestly times like this when her powers feel more like a curse than a gift.

“This early?” The bundle of heat lying atop Kara shifts, burrowing in deeper into her while she leans in further into the warmth, arms instinctively coming around to wrap it in close. “Maybe if we pretend we’re not in, they’ll leave us alone.”

“They’re still there…” Kara grimaces, eyes still squeezed adamantly shut. She can hear the impatient tap of feet right by the door as clear as day – as if it’s coming up from right beside her, pounding in her ears – and it’s killing her eardrums this early in the morning. “Lena, please make it stop.” She whines, nuzzling her face into the mop of dark hair tucked under her chin.

Lena groans out loud, the sound reverberating through their linked bodies. “This better be fucking important.” With a long defeated sigh, she reluctantly peels off away from Kara, taking that all-so delicious heat along with her, and already, Kara is missing her presence. (As cliché as it is.)

She turns over onto her side and gingerly cracks an eye open only to be greeted by the pleasant outline of Lena’s curves, set full on display, bare and exposed and naked as day as the fallen sheets pool around her waist.

Kara thinks she looks like an angel just then, what with the way the fair pallor of her skin contrasts against the golden hue of the morning rays filtering in through the half-drawn curtains, making her skin glitter, looking almost faintly translucent under the light if it’s even humanly possible.

She watches on in appreciation as Lena tugs on a bra and slips into a random pair of panties that may very well be Kara’s from the night before, then finally tosses on a bathrobe, albeit rather haphazardly.

“Go ahead and sleep in a little more, I won’t take long.” Lena croons quietly, leaning in over to press a brief kiss on the crown of Kara’s head.

Kara sighs, preening just a little at Lena’s casual show of affection. “Hurry back.”

With a parting tousle of her hair and a warm chuckle, Lena trudges her way out of the room, leaving Kara to sink back into her small nest sheets, soaking in the last remnants of her lover’s warmth and scent.

Just as Kara is about to drowse straight back into slumber, the sound of an all-too-familiar drawl startles her into a violent awakening.

“Lena.”

In an instant, her heart lurches painfully into her throat, her breath catching as she shoots up from the bed, muscles tensed and senses on high alert.

“M-Mum?”

The surprise and confusion in Lena’s voice are as thick as they are almost palpable in the air that is suddenly strung taut, like a piece of wire on its frayed ends. Where an unexpected move could very well trigger off something as bad as the apocalypse.

A quick use of Kara’s x-ray vision reveals Lillian Luthor, in all of her tall imposing glory, whisking past Lena by the door, promptly allowing herself in without so much of a wink of hesitation.

“What brings you by so… unexpectedly?”

“Can’t a mother visit her daughter?” Lillian hums archly, pacing about the small area of Lena’s living space, almost like a panther on the prowl, heels clicking forebodingly against the hardwood flooring. She stops by the kitchen island fleetingly, and runs an appraising finger down the length of the surface before giving a sniff, albeit one in disdain. “Maybe see how she’s coping with everything so far?”

“Thanks, Mum, I’ve been doing well.” Lena answers stiffly, head hung low and arms wrapped protectively around her being. A submissive gesture that is so unlike herself, who is more often than not known for her confidence and charisma around the office as she perches atop her plush executive throne like a queen behind her desk.

And this.

Watching Lena curl in on herself, looking so very small and subservient beside her mother, it’s most jarring to see.

“Well, that’s good to hear.” Lillian murmurs noncommittally, not sounding particularly interested or genuinely concerned in the least bit.

Because while Kara’s x-ray vision doesn’t allow her to focus much on the superficial – such as her target’s facial expression and the likes – she can still hear the careless indifference in Lillian Luthor’s voice and see it in her body language.

And something about that makes Kara’s blood boil with a fierce protective fire for Lena.

The Luthor matriarch settles herself primly in one of the high stools by Lena’s kitchen island with a pointed sigh, one leg crossed over the other, looking bored and disinterested as ever. “Because ever since moving to National City, you don’t call, you hardly ever come home to visit anymore. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought you’d forgotten all about your dear old family who had taken you in when no one else had wanted to.”

Back over in the bedroom, Kara can hear Lena’s heart rapidly picking up in its pace, cresting and spiking sharply as the silence draws on.

“But I know that’s not like you and I’m sure you have your reasons.”

Lena releases a quiet, near imperceptible quiver of a breath then. All in the meanwhile, Kara bristles heatedly at the clear underlying implication behind the words of the Luthor matriarch, hearing it for what it truly is – a threat.

The younger Luthor swallows audibly, working her way over to the kitchen with a scurry, her hand trembling by a slight as she puts on the coffee machine. “Coffee, Mum?”

Despite the clear erratic rhythm of Lena’s heart, thudding noisily against her chest, it’s impressive to how controlled her voice had managed to come off – cool and calm, betraying none of all that inner conflict.

“That’s quite alright, dear. I won’t be staying long.” Lillian waves her off flippantly with a cursory glance at her wristwatch. “Now that the pleasantries are out of the way.” She shifts in her seat, straightening at her spine and smoothening at her top in a way that Kara knows mean business. “How is the progress of isotope 454 going?”

“It’s, um, going well.” Another spike in Lena’s heart rate, a painful one if Kara should add, going by the hitch in her breath. She holds herself closer together, fidgeting. Stalling. She places a glass of what Kara assumes to be water down in front of her mother. “Well, but rather... slowly.”

Lillian Luthor stops short immediately, turning over towards Lena deliberately. “Oh?” Even without being able to see the expression on the Luthor’s face, Kara can plainly detect the warning in her movements – in the lowered, dangerous cadence of her voice.

“I can explain,” Lena says, steadily, as she clears her throat to right herself properly, standing tall with her chin raised boldly in the face of Adversity. “After the first bout of testings, it has been concluded that the isotope is far more unstable and volatile than what was initially expected. Several few precautions had to be taken place, leading to some… complications in its handling.” She pauses, taking in a calming breath, and steels herself. “As it is, I’m already going at it as fast as I can.”

Lillian sighs, taking a sip from her glass.

“And how long will it take to completion?”

“A month and a half, at least.”

“Lena,” The Luthor matriarch puts her glass down, albeit with a tad more force than required, and Kara doesn’t miss the subtle recoil in Lena at the sudden movement. “You know fair well we’re working against a deadline.”

“Mother, like I said, it can’t be helped.” Lena rushes out, her voice an eerie calm evenness. Her next following words are slow and calculated, chosen with much care and precision, as if her fate depends on whatever is to happen next. “Careful handling is required of the isotope. The last thing we want is to slip up and subsequently blow up half of National City with a foolish mistake. So, please. I’m already trying my best.”

A beat of silence.

“Two weeks.”

“What?”

“Two weeks should be more than enough for you to finish the isotope.” Lillian clarifies breezily.

Lena paces a panicked step forward, hands balling into fists. “Four–”

“–Three and a half, and if you take any longer than that, you’re off the project.”

“But mother!” Lena retorts, standing her ground, aghast.

It’s probably the first time Kara has ever heard her speak out against her mother with such open defiance like this.

Though, in it all, her mother had still remained fairly unruffled by her sudden outburst – almost as if she had seen it coming.

“If you can’t do it, I’m sure your brother will be more than willing to take over in your stead.” Lillian Luthor shrugs, rising elegantly to her feet. She stalks in towards Lena with deliberate slowness, heels clicking like a funeral march in the far distance as she stops just within arm’s reach of Lena, towering menacingly over her much smaller frame. “Just as he has ****_always_**** done so.”

Kara can just hear the cruel twist of her lips into that vicious sneer of hers and it involuntary sends a shudder down her spine. As much as she would hate to admit it, a small part of her still greatly fears the Luthor matriarch for all the things she had put Kara through.

Lena gasps, faltering with a shaky step back to no avail, the iron grip on her shoulder holds her fixedly in place, ceasing any attempts at escape.

An affected sigh, voice as sleek as silk.

“You have a brilliant mind, Lena. You’ll figure something out.”

And as Lillian leans in towards Lena, Kara finds herself bridling, starting violently in Lena’s bed as every cell in her body is calling at her to get up and defend her lover.

But alas, this is not her battle to fight, or so she keeps telling herself.

Reluctantly, with all the willpower imbued in her being, Kara stands down with a couple steadying breaths, prying her trembling vice grip off the sheets she has subconsciously sunk her fingers into in her short fit of rage.

_It’s not my battle to fight._

Ever so softly, she hears Lillian whispers, her fingers squeezing at Lena earnestly.

“I have faith in you.”

It’s by far the most gentle and sincere Kara has ever heard her. Though, in knowing Lillian Luthor, it must be nothing more than just a farce for her. A ruse. A possible means of manipulation. And Kara prays that Lena wouldn’t be so foolish as to fall for it.

“I’ll do what I can.” Lena murmurs quietly in a cracked voice, shoulders sagging and head hung in silent defeat.

Kara can literally hear the pleased, smug smirk dripping off from Lillian Luthor’s lips as she draws away, though not without a satisfied pat on Lena’s shoulder that only makes her shrink in further on herself.

Having achieved what she had meant to do, which includes a crushing a full-grown woman’s spirit in not more than a sentence or two, Lillian Luthor makes to leave the scene, brisking away for the door in long graceful strides while her daughter trudges after her, holding the door out for her dutifully.

“Oh, and the annual Luthor gala ball next week.” She turns to look over her shoulder, halting abruptly by Lena’s threshold. “You will be attending, yes?”

“Yes,” Lena solemnly nods her affirmation. Though, it’s honestly no more of a choice than it is a demand, really.

“Feel free to bring your latest… ****_paramour_**** if you want,” sniffs Lillian, hands moving in a vague, airy gesture over the entirety of Lena’s lounge, possibly having noticed the trail of clothes and the mess leading up to her bedroom.

At that, both Lena and Kara stiffens instinctively.

“It’ll be nice if you came with a date for once. Though, either way, Lex will be ecstatic to see you.” The Luthor matriarch mutters lowly, albeit rather sardonically – the bitterness in her voice has not gone unnoticed by Kara.

She breathes a sigh, seemingly shedding off any previous signs of her fleeting resentment, and reaches in with a touch to Lena’s face.

“Do come home to visit sometime will you, sweetie?” Lillian says, voice soft and inexplicably sweet – motherly – in a way that reminds Kara vaguely of Eliza. As degrading as that comparison is. “Your brother misses you dearly. He talks and worries about you all the time.”

She pauses for one brief moment, all in the meanwhile Kara puts her imagination to good use, visualising the purported hopeful smile on her face – or any other convincing expression that may very well be exploited and used to lure Lena in.

“So, please, honey?”

“I… I will make time.” Lena acquiesces.

Lillian nods, humming her satisfaction.

“See you then, Lena.”

“Likewise, Mum.”

 

* * *

 

As soon as the door clicks shut and the coast is clear, Kara gingerly shuffles out of Lena’s bedroom, cladded decently in a loose oversized shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Can I ask?” She asks, her voice, a tentative quiet.

Lena is exactly where she expects her to be, sitting there with her back up against the front door and her head buried in her hands, breathing in deeply in the manner she usually does to ground herself. She sighs deeply, her hands falling away from her face to reveal the dim hues of tired green.“I’d rather you not.” Lena says, a rueful smile curling wearily at her lips.

Kara frowns, easing herself into the spot beside Lena by the door, their shoulders bumping and thighs brushing up against each other.

She watches her for a long moment, watches as her shoulders slump, her gaze falling vacantly on an invisible speck on the floor. She looks every bit defeated and resigned as Kara remembers her to be, weeks ago from their heated confrontation.

“You don’t have to keep doing this to yourself.”

Lena sighs again. “I suppose.” She murmurs absently, eyes filled with unbidden sorrow.

“Then why?” Kara grits at her teeth.“Why are you torturing yourself like this? You know you clearly want out of this.”

Lena slants her glance, and she sees the conflicted look in her eyes then. The torment and agony painted in dull shades of grey and blue, making them look darker, far sombre than usual.

“They’re still my family, Kara.” Lena says in a tiny warble of a voice, swallowing dryly. Her lips quiver ever so slightly.

She pulls her knees together, tucking them close against her chest as she sinks her chin into the cleft between the two mounds, her arms wrapping around herself tightly.

“They might not be the best people in the world, but as you can see, they’re all I’ll ever have.”

“You have me.” Kara utters, ardently with all of her heart. “And you always will.” Ever so gently, she takes Lena’s hand into her own, and laces their fingers together, pressing a soft kiss on the inner side of her wrist as if to seal off her vow.

“Kara...” Lena breathes, eyes wide and watery.

She sniffs, swallowing back tears as Kara moves in towards her, fingers tenderly sweeping a stray lock of hair out of her face as she cradles her cheeks in close, holding her delicately. She kisses her chastely on her nose, then presses their foreheads together.

“Come clean. I’m sure we can work something out with the DEO. W-we’ll put you in a witness protection program, you’ll be safe. ****_I_**** will keep you safe.” Kara rambles on. She may or not be spouting nonsensical – or mere wishful thinking – at this point, but one thing’s for certain is that she has been putting a great deal of thought into this lately.

A great deal of thought into ****_them_****.

And if there is a peep of chance where she can be with Lena properly. Without all that pretending and sneaking around. Where there can be an actual future between them with a happy ending waiting at the end of the line. Then damned well, will she take it.

“We can find another way out of this.”

And right then, Kara watches as a myriad of emotions floods through the forest green of Lena’s misty inkwells, flickering on indefinitely and pooling in the corners of her eyes as tears. At first, it’s all as promising as it can get, what with the way Lena looks up at Kara with marvel and awe in her eyes, as if Kara were her world, her galaxy, and stars. But it all comes to a startling end when she drops her gaze and closes her eyes, tentatively plucking herself out from Kara’s hold.

Even without hearing what she has to say, Kara already knows her answer.

“There’s no other way, Kara.” Lena whispers brokenly.

The next time she glances up at Kara, her gaze is coloured with much pain and regret, and Kara tries to pretend she doesn’t hear the shatter of her heart in the background.

_“I’m sorry.”_

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: happy easter everyone! i honestly didn't think i'd ever find time to write this chapter before my school break so thank god for easter lol. but yea, thank you all for the kind comments in the previous chapter and for all the kudos too. im just going to keep this short. and hopefully i'll see you guys soon with the next update. till then. :)


	10. trepidation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So… In other words,” she begins, drawing out her words with a quiet simper, “we’re dating?”
> 
> Lena huffs out an exasperated groan. “Really, Kara? Is that what you got out of all I just said?”

Things eventually manage to get back on track between them both. Somehow. It didn’t take especially long for Lena to cool down and leave the room she had promptly locked herself in after their particularly disheartening… ****_talk_****.

Likewise, it didn’t take long for Kara to flock in towards Lena with an apologetic glomp that could have very well knocked the air right out of the youngest Luthor’s fragile mortal body the second she had taken her first steps out of her self-confinement.

In the few hours she had spent out alone in Lena’s lounge, she had thought things through herself too, pondering and mulling over their entire predicament, turning it over and over in her head. Once, twice – thrice. At the end of it all, she can only come to one simple conclusion.

“I’m sorry,” mumbles Kara, face deep into the dark mop of Lena’s hair as she squeezes at her tightly, inhaling her in. “I knew what our situation was like and yet, I still went ahead an threw that all on you. It was selfish and unfair of me, I’m sorry.”

Lena only sighs quietly, reciprocating the gesture with a heartfelt squeeze of her own. “There’s no need to be sorry when there’s nothing to be forgiven for in the first place, Kara.”

Affectionately, she threads her fingers through Kara’s golden locks, her touch ever so gentle – warm, like the soft glow of the sun against her skin. The sunshine that flitters through their curtains at the break of dawn, in which she desperately clings on to, but eludes her all the same.

“If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”

“But–” Kara urges, glancing up sharply, her retort hot on her tongue.

But it all immediately dies out when Lena presses a delicate finger to her lips, efficiently silencing all that Kara has planned to say.

“I can’t give you what you want,” she says, quietly, almost brokenly. The corners of her lips fall, her smile looking more forlorn and pained than ever. “All apart from this whole mess, of course.” She chuckles wryly to herself, mostly in that self-deprecating way that she normally does, and it lances Kara right through the heart.

She so desperately wants to stop her right there with all this depressing talk, sweep her off her feet and gather her up into her arms, and tell her that it’s alright and it’s okay. That she doesn’t mind it all and that everything is simply enough for her.

Except that it’s not.

Because in all honesty, Kara does want ****_more_****.

And looking into Lena’s misty green eyes, staring straight back at her – peering down into her soul and all that Kara has laid bare for her – she thinks she sees it in her too.

Lena breathes out on a quivering exhale, and presses in near, drawing herself further into Kara’s embrace, as if finding solace in her warmth. “I just…” She soughs in deeply, shivering as she nuzzles into the slant of Kara’s neck while Kara holds her delicately, as close to her chest as she possibly can. “Sometimes I just wish that things were different between us.”

“Me too,” says Kara, her voice a muted whisper against the crown of Lena’s head as she fixes her arms a little tighter around Lena’s waist. “Me too.”

If only their circumstances were different.

If only Lena wasn’t born a Luthor, and Kara – a Super.

Could they have been able to love each other freely then?

“But it really can’t be helped, can it?” Kara murmurs absently, thinking out loud.

With a breath, she gathers herself together and pries away from Lena, steeling herself in her resolve. With ever so much tenderness, she touches a finger to Lena’s face, and gently circles over the apple of her cheek.

“A Luthor and Super,” she begins ironically with a small watery smile, “whoever said it was going to be easy for us in the first place?”

“It’s not.” Lena answers back grimly in turn, eyes downcast and lips pursed sombrely; all as Kara feels herself deflating at her two simple, yet very dispiriting words. But even so, her grip on Kara is iron-clad, firm and full of conviction – definitely not a grip of someone who has given up – and somewhere in the darkness, Kara catches a brief glimmer of hope. “But it doesn’t matter anyway.”

Lena glances up then, eyes filled with dancing lights, her smile small and ever so tentative. “So long as we have each other, I suppose.”

And in the darkness – hope, Kara finds.

 

* * *

 

As the day of the annual Luthor Gala Ball draws near, Kara finds herself getting unusually restless – antsy, as how they would normally put it.

Despite the Luthors infamy and notoriety for their treacherous underhanded methods of getting what they want in the business scene, they are still apparently well sought after by the masses and public. A kind of popularity that precedes their ill repute.

What with Lex Luthor being the family’s poster boy, Kara can see why. He has always had this charm to him. A certain way with his words that can easily sway the most stubborn of minds – a charisma that inexplicably draws people in towards him. So much so that when he speaks, you can’t help but stop everything at hand, and listen.

And it’s probably why the population usually turns a blind eye to the Luthors’ unlawful proceedings.

But Kara digresses.

With the fame and popularity of the Luthors, it also meant that their annual gala ball has been hyped up constantly by the press.

The biggest high society event of the year, everyone is calling it.

Several distinguished personnel and big-time celebrities will be attending, all except for the President of the United States, Kara supposes.

Though really in Kara’s eyes, all she sees of this event is just one huge neon-painted target, stamped for crime. What with the rich and famous congregating all in one place. No doubt, attending such event will come with its stakes and risks.

Say, possible terrorist attacks, for example.

And assassination attempts too.

Kara grimaces, cringing just thinking about it – the whole fight she has had with Lena after she had disappeared on her for two whole weeks.

Of how she had returned to her with that fresh scar on her left breast, the one that lies right above her heart.

The very same scar that Kara traces faintly over every other night before drifting off to sleep, all the while thinking and fearing for Lena’s fragile mortality – a painful reminder of how close she had been to losing Lena forever.

She doesn’t think she can handle a repeat of that whole episode again.

“So about the Gala Ball this Thursday…” Kara begins, having decided to slip it right in ever so casually while all snuggled up against the warm heat of Lena’s body on the lounge.

The credits of the sappy rom-com movie they’ve been watching all night have just begun to roll, and there’s honestly no better opportunity than right now when they’re all heavy-eyed and sleepy; bodies in that languid, blissed-out state that comes after the end of every good movie.

“What about it?”

Her head lolls over onto Lena’s shoulder while she idly plays with their linked hands, stalling as she thumbs at the length of Lena’s pointer finger.

“Do you really have to go?”

Lena sighs, and shifts, drawing in and fanning the warm fleece blanket across their shoulders before tucking Kara in close with an arm around her waist.

“To be honest, I’d rather be staying home, cosying up and watching Netflix with you all night,” she pauses with a breath, curling in towards the Kryptonian. “But you heard my Mum the other day. I have to go.”

“But do you really have to?” Kara pouts, busting out the big-guns.

Lena bites back on a chuckle, affectionately prodding a finger to her nose. “Yes, so please, just stop with the puppy-eyes already.”

Huffing petulantly, Kara dramatically drapes herself over Lena, albeit mindful not to crush her fragile lover in the process. She manages to draw out a breathless laugh from Lena as a result, with her arms slung loosely around her neck, pulling her in near as she presses a fleeting – teasing – kiss on the underside of her jaw.

“Come on, stay home with me and bail. We’ll even get that healthy vegan takeaway you love for dinner.”

“Tempting…” Lena hums, her wandering hands reaching just beyond the hem of Kara’s shirt, settling right above her hip. She traces circles over her skin there, her touch ever so warm and tantalisingly soft.

Kara shivers.

“But I’m sorry, I’ve got to pass on that.”

Kara sighs, ducking her head and nuzzling into the crook of Lena’s neck. “Way to make a girl lonely, Miss Luthor,” she mumbles sulkily.

“What if I promise to make it up to you after.”

At that, Kara perks up, baby blues twinkling expectantly at deep viridian greens.

“With?”

“Hmm, I don’t know.”

Lena smiles slowly, and Kara catches a hint of mischief sparkling behind her eyes. With ever so much of care, she circles a lock of blonde hair behind Kara’s ear, then runs a delicate finger down the length of her jaw, drawing her in close. Closer. She pecks a lingering kiss on her cheek.

“Pot-stickers, kisses…” Her voice dips down lower into a deeper register, taking on an enticing purr that stirs the fire in Kara loins. She kisses her hotly on the corner of her lips – teasing and simpering, yet full of promise. “Anything you want.”

Oh, does she know how to push Kara’s buttons in all the right places.

“Mmm, tempting...”

Unable to resist herself no longer, she dives right in, capturing Lena’s lips in a heated, albeit much-awaited kiss.

As Lena sighs blissfully into the contact, Kara drinks it all in, taking the chance to deepen their connection by slipping in a hint of tongue. She shifts, straddling Lena as she pushes their bodies flush against one another – chest to chest, heart to heart – and pins her up against the lounge, kissing her hotly.

And that manages to draw out a low wanton moan out of Lena, who instinctively arches into her touch.

“Are you taking anyone with you?” Kara manages between kisses, parting briefly to nip at the sensitive patch of skin just below Lena’s jaw. “As a… ****_date_**** , I mean.”

“And what if I do?” answers Lena breathlessly in turn.

Kara stops short then, jerking away abruptly.

“Wait, are you saying that you are?”

Lena laughs a breathy little kind of laugh, and sinks back limply into the lounge, panting and still reeling to catch her breath. “Not that I consider Jess my date or anything.” Chest heaving, hair mussed and lips kissed-swollen, she looks every bit like a treat right then that Kara wants nothing more than to just delve in and devour her up whole. She has always been a sight for sore eyes – a welcomed distraction of sorts. “That, and I doubt her fiancé would be all that happy if it were the case.”

Kara releases an inaudible sigh at that, shoulders sagging in relief.

Looking over to Kara with ever so much of fondness in her eyes, Lena smiles, her gaze softening. She gently thumbs the high point of Kara’s cheek, then pecks her chastely on the tip of her nose. “Don’t worry, you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of.”

“Pft, jealous? Why would I be jealous?” Kara blusters on incredulously, pouting despite herself.

Lena laughs, her arms strewn loosely over Kara’s shoulders. She sways their bodies to the beat of her tuneless little hum, eyes twinkling playfully – knowingly – under the light. “Oh?”

With a roll of eyes and a resounding groan of exasperation, Kara plunges back in, stealing the breath out of Lena once more with a searing kiss, running hot on the determination to wipe that smug look off her lover’s face.

Which she succeeds in doing so without so much of effort, of course.

“Why not take me?” Kara asks, a ghost of a whisper across Lena’s heated flesh when she breaks away for the second time that evening. Albeit, this time with a hand under Lena’s shirt.

“Kara…” Lena whines, fingers digging into her impenetrable skin as she arches into her touch, bucking under her hold, desperate and impatient for Kara to go on.

To no avail.

All movements come to an abrupt standstill as Kara peers up at Lena, eyes all wide, hopeful and expectant.

“I can be your arm-candy.”

Lena all but nearly cries out in frustration – and desperation – just then, but turns it into a needy huff at the last second. She is on the verge of begging, and Kara knows it. Relishes in it, even.

“Or your personal bodyguard even. If anyone dares to feel you up the butt, I’ll whop them silly.” Kara hums, slowly kissing up the column of Lena’s neck. A placating gesture that is still far from enough to sate her squirming lover beneath her; what with the way her hand remains fixedly unmoving under her shirt – just barely grazing the underside of her breast. “What do you say?”

Lena shivers and swallows audibly, taking in a couple steadying breaths in her best attempt to rein in her raging libido to regain some form of coherency. Chest heaving and eyes decidedly squeezed shut, she shudders out one long exhale. With an insurmountable amount of willpower, she shakily pries Kara’s hand out from under her shirt, and finally slides her eyes open to meet the question in vivid baby blues.

“I’d really love to take you, Kara,” she breathes, voice thick and raspy from arousal. She soughs in deeply, gives herself a good sobering shake of the head then rights herself properly, looking more and more lucid by the second.

“But?”

Lena sighs, and reaches in to sweep a renegade strand of hair out of Kara’s face before trailing her touch lower to cradle a warm cheek. “But with my family there, I really don’t think it’s the best idea.”

“Oh, okay.” The disappointment that hits Kara is almost bruising and she struggles to keep it from showing on her face. “It’s alright,” she forces on a smile, playing it off cool with a quick shrug of the shoulders. “It was just a thought. No biggie.”

And she hates how Lena can see right through her so easily.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Lena all but whispers in earnest, and when Kara only looks on dispiritedly, and still indubitably crestfallen, she leans in to kiss her softly on the lips – in a way that causes Kara’s breath to hitch and her heart to clumsily skip over a beat. “I promise.”

Kara’s resulting answer is a quiet sigh and a small obliging smile. Without wasting a beat, she guides Lena in close, such that their foreheads meet and their noses brush, their lips coming together in a slow but fragile union.

“You’d better not disappoint,” Kara whispers against Lena’s lips.

“Like I ever do.”

The only warning Kara gets, is a flash of a devilish smirk and a wink, before a pair of lips inexplicably crushes against her own, swallowing up her ensuing gasp.

 

* * *

 

In true blue Luthor’s fashion, the Gala ball had ended up being every bit as lavish as Kara has ever imagined. Glittering diamond chandelier hanging above their heads, ornate ice sculptures at every corner. A food platter that Kara has literally been dying to get her hands on since walking in, ranging from cheese and crackers to flat out foie gras and lobster. And music so pretentious it must have been written and performed for the grand entrance of some snobbish king.

Everyone here is dressed to the nines, sleek black tuxedos and long flowing evening gowns, all pristine and pressed, indubitably costing an entire fortune and more. No doubt, it is a party of the elites – the crème de la crème – and the Luthors are sitting on top of it all in their metaphorical thrones made out of cold-hard cash and gold, dyed in the blood of their competition.

In the meanwhile, Kara tries hard to not fidget in her rented dress.

Standing amidst true blue-blooded nobility, she feels remarkably small and out of place. Even when she had literally just spent hours sitting in a chair, getting her face powdered and hair all done up into an intricate bun by actual seasoned professionals – as sponsored by CatCo – just so she can easily assimilate herself into high society.

Then again, looking the part of a wealthy aristocrat – or in Kara’s case: an important delegate of CatCo – is one thing, but to play the part of it?

Even without the glitz and the glamour, the people conjugated in this single extravagant hall seem to exist on an entirely different plane from the rest of the exceedingly ordinary population. They all hold themselves similarly to one another. Shoulders squared, chin up and back straight, lips tugged into that plastic picture-perfect smile that is really starting to grate on Kara’s nerves with every passing minute.

If it’s even possible, Kara has never felt more alien before in her life.

But a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do to keep her lover safe from speeding bullets and possible assassination plots, she supposes.

Fingering her borrowed Gucci clutch, Kara cranes at her neck, unobtrusively sifting through the crowd for a glimpse of Lena to no avail.

In any other circumstances, she would have more than likely to have used her super hearing to pinpoint Lena’s exact location. Oh and boy, did she try.

As soon as she had set out to hone in onto the familiar timbre of Lena’s voice – or the ever so steady lub-dub of Lena’s heartbeat – she had found herself instantly bombarded by the monotonous drone of similarly vapid conversations of business and politics everywhere. It was an immediate assault on her extremely sensitive senses; a kind of incessant buzzing that simply won’t go away no matter how hard she tried. At which point, she had decided that maybe it was best if she had forgone using it all together.

Kara worries nervously on her lip, and subtly inches herself taller on her toes, as far as her heels would allow her to go before she ends up levitating off the ground. It’s been thirty minutes into the event, and yet, there is still no sight of Lena anywhere. She is sure it’s probably nothing, and that Lena is just being Lena – living up to her title as _**the**_ elusive Luthor of the family – and is more than likely to be skulking around some quiet corner, avoiding the limelight.

But a small part of Kara still worries.

Maybe if she can find a vantage point somewhere she could–

“What are you doing here?”

At the sudden vice grip latching itself across her wrist, Kara very nearly startles out of her skin and it literally takes every ounce of self-control in her to not just tear herself out of said-grip with her super Kryptonian strength and lay waste on her perpetrator.

Which thankfully, she didn’t.

Because as she rears back to give whomever it is a good piece of her mind, it is then does Kara realises it’s none other than–

“Lena!” She starts, gasping, right as she stops to catch her breath at the sight before her, her jaw going slack.

She is pretty sure she’s gaping, but can anyone honestly blame her?

What with the way Lena’s dress is hugging her all in the right places, emphasising her soft curves and ample bosom; of how the front of her dress seems to dip down low – low enough to reveal just a hint of tantalising cleavage, albeit still retaining its class of elegance.

She looks every bit like a vision standing there, with her hair twisted into a regal side-bun with a couple loose wispy tendrils framing her face, dusted with light shimmery make up. She looks soft under the glow of the chandelier, clearly primed and dressed to impress than to intimidate for this particular event.

“Y-you look amazing!”

However, while Kara is thrilled to see her, Lena appears to be anything but. Her lips, which are painted a bright, bold shade of crimson, are tugged into a deep-set frown.

“You really shouldn’t be here, Kara,” she hisses under her breath as she glances over their shoulders furtively. Tightening her grip on Kara’s wrist, she then hastily begins to steer Kara off to a quiet, secluded corner, away from all the hubbub and prying eyes.

“Oh, but I’m here for official reasons. I’m Catco’s delegate.” Kara preens, standing herself straighter, flashing Lena a winning smile.

Though, Lena looks none too impressed, merely shooting Kara down with a flat, pointed stare that deflates her in an instant.

With a breath, Kara acquiesces. “Fine, okay. I’m here for you,” she admits, shoulders slumping in defeat. She should have known better than to try to weasel her way into an event like this, albeit through proper means. Especially after Lena had told her not to. Though, a tiny part of her had still remained hopeful that she would be at least pleased to see her.

But apparently not.

“Kara, I already told you,” she whispers through gritted teeth, eyes wide and harried, darting from corner to corner as if expecting something – or someone – to pop out from the shadows. “It would be best if you didn’t show up.” The fingers around Kara’s wrists dig deeper her skin, and she would imagine that it would probably hurt if she were human.

She looks to Lena imploringly, sighing quietly.

“I really tried to hold myself back. I really did. But in the end, I just can’t bear to let you walk into something like this alone.” She reaches in, and gingerly presses a touch over onto Lena’s exposed shoulder, allowing the yielding warmth of her skin to ground her. In that brief single moment, Kara bares it all out to Lena, wearing her heart on her sleeves. “Not again.”

She knows it’s selfish of her to pull a shtick like this – to party-crash on the one event she probably shouldn’t. She knows that. It’s not like her to do something like this either. The last thing she’d ever want is to create any unnecessary distress for Lena with her presence here. But each time she closes her eyes and sees the disturbing images of Lena bleeding out from her chest while she lies limp in the pool of her own blood, it just terrifies her so much.

Lena breathes a small sigh, the steel in her eyes softening ever much so.

“I’ll be fine, Kara,” she says quietly, as gently as she can while still holding up her semblance of displeasure. “Security is stationed all around.”

“But are they fast enough to catch a speeding bullet?” Kara challenges, taking a willful step in towards her.

“They’re enough to keep us all safe,” rejoinders Lena, standing her ground as she tilts her chin to stare Kara square in the eye.

And when stubborn insistence doesn’t work, Kara decides to go for the softer approach, taking into account the numerous times it has work in her favour.

“Lena–”

“–No.” Lena cuts her off tersely with a quick shake of the head, lips pursed thinly into a frown. “No,” she repeats, albeit firmly, with a quiet sigh. “We don’t have time for this.” Her eyes harden, steeling over in resolution, and Kara thinks she might have caught a smidge of panicked urgency in them just then. “You need to leave. Now.”

“But–”

“No ‘buts’, Kara. Just leave before–”

“–Lena!”

At the sudden call of her name, Lena’s breath catches, hitching painfully in her throat as every cell and her muscles in her body tenses, turning rigid. The blood in her face drains away completely, washing out in a deathly shade of pale, and when her eyes flicker over to Kara briefly next, she sees the stone-cold fear shining in them.

“Lena, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.”

The foreboding footsteps that have been building up towards them, cease at last. When the recognition of that familiar deep timbre of a voice finally settles in, Kara finds her blood freezing over to ice as well.

Because standing barely an arm’s reach away, is none other than Lena’s older brother himself – Lex Luthor.

“Oh, sorry. Was I interrupting?” He glances between to the two of them, looking genuinely abashed for his intrusion, after having noticed Kara’s presence for the first time. The trail of his gaze rivets onto their linked hands for a split of a second before moving on, though Kara doesn’t miss the imperceptible arch of his brow.

Recovering quickly, Lena smoothly relinquishes her grasp over Kara’s wrist and turns on over to greet her brother with a saccharine smile. “No, you weren’t. We were just finished talking,” she says airily, making to steer her brother off and away into the opposite direction with a hand, draped delicately over one broad shoulder. “What is it that you need me for?”

“Hold up, Lena.”

But of course, Lex isn’t one to relent that easily.

He raises a halting hand, standing rooted to the ground as he turns to look over his shoulder at Kara, curiosity shining in his matching vivid green eyes to his sister beside him. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your lady friend, here?” When he turns his gaze over to Lena next, his eyes are filled with playful mirth as he nudges the younger Luthor teasingly – knowingly.

Lena only sighs, and rolls her eyes in a faux show of that signature sibling exasperation that Kara recognises and relates to on so many different levels. It is almost a marvel at how much control she has over her expression, which had betrayed none of her previous worry or fear as she saunters up to Kara breezily.

“Lex, this is Kara,” intones Lena indifferently, sounding almost bored even, “and Kara, this is my older brother, Lex.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Lex grins affably, offering a polite hand out towards Kara, which she takes without so much of hesitation.

“Likewise,” echoes Kara back with a small, albeit forced smile.

She can only imagine how odd a sight this must be for anyone with intimate knowledge of their true identities. Supergirl shaking hands with the one and only Lex Luthor. She wonders what would Kal make of this if he’d ever find out. (Not that he will.) Standing there and shaking hands with her cousin’s greatest nemesis to date, it’s probably the most up close she has ever gotten to the Luthor in a non-hostile situation, and it’s honestly unnerving to not see the usual malice burning in his eyes – or that twisted sneer on his lips.

He regards her for a moment, albeit not quite losing that amicable smile on his face. But as his eyes narrow in on Kara for a brief of a second, she finds herself stiffening upon instinct, holding her breath.

“Say, by any chance, are you the very same Kara who had written that article on Lena not too long ago?”

A small trickle of fear ripples down Kara’s spine as the tiniest of ‘what-if’s tunnels through her mind. Inwardly, she prays to Rao and all the other Gods in the universe that her face did not just take on the turmoil she feels inside.

“You got me!” She manages a sheepish laugh, pushing at her glasses bashfully. Though, to anyone who probably knows her better would know it’s more of a nervous, self-conscious habit than anything else.

The grin on Lex’ face widens, crinkling and softening the corners of his eyes in similar the way that Lena does occasionally when she’s in extremely good spirits.

“Great article!” He commends sprightly, booming in that deep baritone of a voice. “I really enjoyed it. You definitely have a knack for writing, Miss Danvers. The way you wrote about my darling sister here was very ****_flattering_****.” He sends Kara a conspiratorial wink, flashing her a particularly toothy smile.

And she thinks she is starting to understand the appeal and hype about Lex Luthor. When he’s not running off at the mouth with his horrific plans of evil and madness, he can be quite the charming man. There’s just a certain ease about him that inadvertently makes you want to trust him. Something about his ever so easy-going bearing, and disarming smile, paired with those seemingly earnest green eyes of his that makes it so easy to fall into that cradle of false security he has so deliberately set up.

It’s no wonder that people are drawn towards him – like moths to a flame.

The lost and the damned to a false messiah.

But of course, Kara knows better. She has seen, and experienced first-hand, the unforgiving cruelty Lex Luthor is more than capable of.

“Lex…” Lena sighs, pinching at the bridge of her nose vexedly, looking like she wants to be anywhere but here. “Please.”

Laughing, Lex holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Just trying to figure out how you two met.” He ripostes with a smile, eyes sparkling in good-natured tease.

At his sister’s affected sigh, he had looked like he was on the verge of saying something in return, when Jess – Lena’s spitfire of a personal assistant – had cut right in unceremoniously.

“Mister Luthor.”

She gestures over to a small conjugation of wealthy elderly men chattering by the food platter, and silently mouths something over to Lex that Kara couldn’t quite catch. Comprehension dawns upon the older Luthor, and the friendly spark in his eyes begins to abate, like embers cooling away into ash.

“I hate to cut this short, but it looks like I’m needed elsewhere.” His smile wanes slightly. He looks to Kara with a quick genial nod. “It was really great meeting you again, Miss Danvers.” And to Lena, he passes her on a secret knowing smile, “Lena.” He simpers archly before finally taking his leave with Jess on his flank, disappearing into the sea of people.

“Thank Rao for Jess,” Kara mutters under her breath, not missing the wordless exchange of looks between both boss and assistant right before they all went their separate ways.

When she turns to look beside herself at Lena, she had been surprised to find Lena nowhere in sight. And it takes Kara a belated second to notice her shrinking form in the distance. With a tiny touch of super speed, she manages to catch up to Lena who’s graciously nudging her way through the crowd.

“Lena! Wait up, where are you going?” She grabs her by her forearm, temporarily stopping her in her tracks.

“To go guzzle down some drinks, get some air. I don’t know. I’m freaking out here.”

Lena immediately shakes her off with a forceful shrug and when she glances around to meet Kara’s questioning gaze, it is then does Kara truly realise how distraught and frazzled Lena is over the entire matter.

With a gentle hold over Lena’s arm, she guides her away to the balcony for some quiet privacy – and for some air, as Lena has previously stated.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay,” she hushes her, gingerly holding Lena’s face in her palms. Ever so tenderly, she sweeps a thumb over the high point of her cheek, offering what little solace she can to ease off her lover’s distress. “Everything’s fine.”

“No, it’s not okay and everything’s not fine.” Lena hisses back, shaking her head indignantly.

The panic is apparent in her eyes as she bats Kara’s hands away, prying herself out from her grasp. She clamps down on her nose bridge. Hard.

“What the hell were you thinking, Kara?” Heated green eyes desperately seek after baby blues. From the lines marring her forehead to the scowl on her face, this is probably the most piqued Kara has ever seen Lena so far. “You’re at the ****_Luthor’s_**** Annual Gala ball for Christ’s sake. Right now, you’re literally as good as a lamb in a lion’s den.”

“I just…” Kara begins waveringly, shrinking in on herself. Suddenly the notion of being Lena’s dashing white knight in shining armour doesn’t seem to hold as much promise as it had before. “I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“I’m more than safe here, Kara. I’m practically on home turf.” Lena pointedly gestures over to the lavish Gala event taking place inside as they fall into a short lapse of silence – a fleeting moment of respite – where the music and sound of the various festivities drones on and away, bleeding into the background. Lena releases a defeated breath then, deflating under the gravity of the situation as her seething anger finally winks out. “But I can’t say the same for you,” she says, quietly, looking almost pained.

Standing out in the darkness on the balcony of the event gallery, with the faint glow of the party inside flickering over her face, casting shadows over her countenance, Lena looks older then. Weary beyond her years. With a soft sigh, she scuffles her way over to the balustrade of the balcony and peers out into the dark of the night, taking a moment to recollect herself and her thoughts.

“You meeting Lex was practically everything I’ve been trying to avoid and now that it has actually happened, I really don’t know if I should laugh or cry.”

She breathes out on a shaky exhale and nearly reaches for her face out of habit, albeit thinking better of it at the last second – probably not wanting to ruin her makeup – and pushes a couple of those stylishly loose locks of hair out of her face instead. All in the meanwhile, Kara watches her silently from the sideline.

“Because while you’ve barely managed to slip past my mother’s crosshair. Here you are, slipping right into my brother’s. Which is on all counts just as bad. Or worse, even.”

Kara winces inwardly despite herself, the truth of Lena’s words has never hit her harder. While Lillian Luthor is fearsome in her own light, where a tiny part of Kara is still and will always be afraid of her, she is still fairly predictable in the scheme of things. But Lex. Lex Luthor with his genius intellect and his inclination towards madness, paired together with his ever so callously ruthless approach is on a completely different level than Lillian. He is every bit unpredictable and dangerous. Even Kal has his fears against him.

In retrospect, she should have probably listened to Lena and stayed home.

But now is not the time for regrets. Not when Lena is all shaken up and far too overwrought with worry and anxiety.

Kara clasps her hand over Lena’s on the balustrade, squeezing at her reassuringly. “Come on, I don’t think it’s all that bad. I mean that whole thing with Lex just now? I reckon it kinda went down pretty well.” Lacing their fingers together, she sways at their linked hands as she offers Lena a small, convincing smile. “Besides, I’m in disguise right now.”

She pushes at her glasses for emphasis, puffing her chest out a little with a grin. “Kara Danvers, at your service. All human, with not one bit of Super in my bones.” Leaning in, she lightly brushes her lips over the ridges of Lena’s knuckles in a fleeting kiss and flashes her a charming wink, preening a little when that ends up earning her a chuckle and a hint of a smile.

But it all dies off quickly, as soon as the direness of the situation settles in once more.

“Do you know why I don’t date? Or on the off-chance that I actually do, I do it on the down low?” Lena whispers distantly into the night breeze, staring out into the glittering city skyline. Her eyes are a dismal shade of greyish green, bearing the darkness of the night, and yet possibly all of the shimmering stars in the sky above. Very pretty. Even despite the bleakness of the predicament they’re currently in.

Kara shakes her head.

“It’s all because of Lex,” murmurs Lena, after a beat. “He is protective of me. Immensely so. And on top of that, he’s paranoid too. And when I say this, I’m speaking through experience, that he won’t stop at anything until he has dug up literally everything there is on you and have you all figured out.”

When she glances up at Kara next, her eyes are wide and bridling with the same fear from before. Fear that Kara now realises it’s actually not for herself.

But for Kara instead.

And she feels it – feels that very fear – thrumming through her bones, churning at her stomach, and pulsing through her veins.

She had been so caught up in Lena’s safety this whole time that she hadn’t once paused to consider the possible repercussions of meeting any of the other Luthors off hours as Kara Danvers. Because what were the chances of her bumping into any of them in a crowd like this anyway? She is probably no more than an unimportant speck on the Luthors’ radar as Kara Danvers. A reporter, and one from CatCo. Magazine, much less. Even if they did end up bumping shoulders, she would have been greatly ignored, was what she had thought initially.

But oh, how her hubris has done her in this time.

Giving that there could very well be a chance that her secret identity could be compromised with Lex Luthor’s meddling.

“And I thought Alex was protective.” Kara frowns.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” sighs Lena resignedly.

Not that Kara can’t let her fear show. At least not right now. Not when Lena is busy fretting herself silly for her sake. She watches as Lena worries away, nibbling down on her bottom lip, face tight like smiling isn’t an option tonight. It all fills Kara with dread, and her stomach into knots. She is scared, herself, too. And honestly speaking, she has no clue to what the future will bring.

But at the end of the day, she is still Supergirl – a beacon of hope and strength.

And if not her, who is to be strong for them both?

Steeling herself and stashing all of that distressing thoughts away into some far corner of her mind, Kara gives their intertwined fingers a gentle squeeze, and plasters on a coy smile when Lena glances over at her.

“So… In other words,” she begins, drawing out her words with a quiet simper, “we’re dating?”

Lena huffs out an exasperated groan. “Really, Kara? Is that what you got out of all I just said?”

Kara merely throws her head back with a laugh, blue eyes dancing mirthfully under the shine of the starlight, swinging at joined hands merrily – enticingly.

“Come on, Lena. We’re at a Gala Ball. Together! Let’s just at least enjoy the night for now. Maybe stuff our face with some shrimp and slow dance even.”

“We don’t really slow dance, much less dance, at events like this, Kara.” Lena points out wryly, though there’s no real heat to her voice.

“O-oh, um, in that case–”

“–But you ****_are_**** right.”

Lena sighs, glancing over at Kara with a soft, tiny smile. And it’s probably the first real smile Kara has gotten out of her the entire night.

“We should just enjoy the night while we can.”

She thumbs the length of Kara’s pointer finger thoughtfully, tracing over the ridges of her knuckles before reaching over to hook an arm over Kara, an ever so roguish smile twisting at her lips.

“To the shrimp platter, my fair lady?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Kara beams back winningly.

She supposes they’ll just have to worry about everything later.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: whoo, this had been a seriously long chapter! (do forgive any mistakes made in this chap). but ooh, the thick plottens! thank you all for the comments/kudos, i just want to say that your support for this fic means so much to me. thank you! :)


	11. paranoia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gasps aloud, face scrunching into an exaggerated show of mock hurt. “Are you saying that all this time you’ve never once liked any of my hot chocolate?” 
> 
> Shaking her head, Lena lets loose a pretty little laugh, and when she turns to look over her shoulder at Kara next, her eyes are filled with soft, dancing lights. 
> 
> Something in her gaze stops Kara short then, her heart stuttering in her chest.
> 
> “I’m saying that you cheer me up.”

Strolling down the streets of National City in the dark the night with the stars sparkling overhead and the moon as their spotlight, in any other circumstances, Kara would have thought this to be a fairly romantic activity.

Everything is simply picture perfect.

Right from the way the streets look almost different at sundown; misty, washed and bathed under the pale glow of the streetlights, its unearthly tint giving off a thin air of mystery – one that is enshrouded in secrets and a promise of romance.

To the gentle tousle of the night breeze through their hair, their fingers entwined, moulding into one another ever so fittingly while their hands sway along to the steady rhythm of their footsteps against the pavement.

It’s all a little too perfect – if Kara should say.

Too perfect.

So much so that it just… doesn’t sit well with her.

The streets are quiet, as how it normally is during the night, albeit painfully so. Usually, Kara would appreciate the brief moment of quietude – the privacy that comes along with the stillness. But tonight, the silence on the streets is almost overbearing. Unnerving, even. Like the whole world is collectively holding its breath, waiting for something to happen.

Out of the corner of her eye, she catches a quick shift of movement.

Five times.

Kara has counted at least five times Lena has turned to look over their shoulders since they had left the supermarket with their groceries in tow. Four times she has turned a blind eye on her unusual restlessness, and she supposes that five times should probably be enough to warrant herself a question.

“Is something wrong?”

At the sound of Kara’s voice, Lena gives a sharp jolt, starting violently as her gaze flickers back onto Kara. The plastic of the grocery bag between her fingers crinkles noisily.

“Nothing,” she says, flashing Kara a wan smile before turning to face straight-on, though the worry lines on her face do not abate one bit. Neither does the tension in her shoulders nor the stiffness in her posture.

Kara swallows, deciding to hold her tongue, at least for the time being. Her only show of reassurance is a quick squeeze of their linked hands, and it’s one that Lena reciprocates in a heartbeat. Though, it’s not until she feels the warm press of Lena’s palm against her own, that she finally notices the budding trepidation growing within herself.

Kara would never admit it openly, but her meeting with Lex Luthor at the Gala Ball had definitely left her feeling far more rattled than she would ever lead on. It had filled her with this persistent dread that clung onto her like stubborn grime she can’t shake off; seeded her with this unease – this fear. The constant what ifs.

(What if today is finally the day the world finally crashes down on her?)

And she’s afraid that it had begun to sprout its roots, rearing its ugly head over her shoulder, making her second guess everything and filling her thoughts with nothing but doubt; and her mind with all sorts of wild and damning speculations.

Inwardly, Kara wonders if this is all part of Lex’ plot to bring her down. Because if it is, it’s definitely working.

Though, it would also appear that Lena isn’t faring any better herself.

She had literally turned to look over her shoulder seven times in the last twenty minutes.

Seven.

“Do you just want me to fly us back instead?” Kara murmurs quietly.

Not that anyone is listening in on them, that much she can tell. Her sensitive Kryptonian hearing relaying to her that there isn’t so much of a single soul within their hundred-metre radius.

“What? No.” Lena declines without so much of missing a beat, glancing at Kara sidelong. “We’re nearly home anyway.” Though, despite her quick point-black refusal, there had been a split second where she had looked as if she would have seriously taken up on Kara’s offer, but had decided otherwise.

Kara makes for a thoughtful hum at that, allowing the ends of her lips to draw away into a slow playful grin. “How about a piggyback ride then?” She jests, blue eyes sparkling with mirth as she jerks an overly enthusiastic thumb over her back. “Come on, hop on!”

Lena only rolls her eyes in mock exasperation. “Knock it off, Kara,” she sighs, albeit carrying no real heat to her voice, the tiny curl of her lips a clear indication of her amusement.

Kara throws her head back with a short laugh, turning to look over at Lena with a crooked smile as she regards her warmly for a second, making note of the far more relaxed slant to her posture. At least the tensed edge to her shoulders has eased off somewhat, and her eyes are slowly regaining back a hint of its usual spark and its vivid viridity.

“Okay, how about you let me carry your load of groceries instead?” Kara offers, gesturing to said-bag of groceries with a quick tilt of her chin. Meeting Lena’s eyes, she flashes her a meaningful look and a teasing grin. “Is that tame enough for you?”

“Oh, shut up,” huffs Lena indignantly, though still smiling. She playfully bumps her shoulder up against Kara, then swats her on the arm with her free hand.

“Ouch, that hurts!”

For a fraction of a second, Lena’s expression had morphed to that of alarm, apologetic even, until the realisation sinks in, that is.

“Should I kiss it better?”

“Well, you ****_can_**** make it better by handing over your groceries.”

Lena snorts, all ugly and undignified – but it only serves to endear her further to Kara. When she glances over at Kara next, there’s laughter in her eyes.

“Nice try,” she says, with another roll of her eyes, “but I’m not some invalid who can’t carry her own groceri–”

She stops short then, footsteps ceasing abruptly against the concrete.

“Lena?”

Kara blinks, glancing curiously over her shoulder at her lover upon catching the intense spike of her heartbeat – the sound of her breath hitching loudly in her throat. She retracts back with a step, and squeezes at their joined hands in a comforting notion.

“Hey, hon’, what’s wrong?” Kara says, crooning quietly, searching Lena’s face to piece together the mystery of her unease, when she realises her face is drained off from all its colours. She frowns at this, all traces of humour from before gone and long forgotten as her gaze steels over with a worried glint.

“Nothing!” Lena rushes out with a forced smile. “Lets, um – why don’t we spend the night over at your apartment for once? A change of scenery might be nice.”

In any other circumstances, Kara would have let this go. But something about the way Lena’s eyes keep flickering over to a spot behind her, makes Kara think that this is more than just some baseless fear. What with how the hand in hers has suddenly turned unusually clammy.

She turns to trace after the direction of Lena’s gaze over her shoulder.

“It’s only just a black sedan, Lena,” she remarks softly.

“The only black sedan that’s parked right outside my condo.” Lena hisses back vehemently, tugging her in near with a quick jerk of the wrist. Up close like this, Kara can see the sheer panic, reflecting in the green of her eyes as clear as day, and it vaguely reminds her of the night from the Gala.

Fingers digging in painlessly into the back of her knuckles, she has that very same wide-eyed, pale-face look of utter fear on right now.

“Did I mention that my brother drives a black Tesla too?”

At that, Kara stiffens, bristling as her lips purse into a thin straight line. She doesn’t know if it’s even possible, but her hands begin to sweat, her heart steadily picking up in its pace, pounding in tandem to the forceful rhythm of Lena’s own heartbeat. And suddenly, it’s all she that can hear – the twin drums of their hearts pulsing through the walls of her ears.

Because if there’s anything that Kara knows best, it’s to trust her instincts.

Though, now that she really thinks about it, a black _Tesla_ – of all cars – parked in the middle of this part of town is certainly odd. It’s very much a rose amongst the thorns, surrounded by the every day Ford and Hyundais. If anything, it only further justifies Lena’s paranoia.

Kara soughs in a steadying breath and shoots Lena a meaningful look before taking stock of their general periphery for any straggling commuters. Once she is sure that the coast is clear, she briefly lowers her glasses, all the while holding her breath as she scans the black Tesla for any signs of threat – for the presence of life.

“It’s empty,” says Kara, with a quiet rush of exhale. Her shoulders sag in relief. “There’s no one there.”

“Oh.” Lena breathes. The rapid thrum of her heartbeat begins to peter out, the tension in her shoulders easing ever so slightly. “Okay, that’s great.” She says, swallowing back a small, but uneasy smile.

There’s still that distinct warble to her voice. The same warble she gets whenever she’s overwrought and distressed, bordering on the verge of a possible breakdown, and it worries Kara immensely.

“Just… great.”

“Lena? You all good?”

Kara frowns, setting a warm hand over her shoulder as she squeezes at her gently – reassuringly – and that manages to snap her out of it somewhat thankfully.

“Yeah, sorry.” Lena shakes her head, carding a trembling finger through her dark locks, dishevelling it with a heavy sigh. She chuffs a breathy chuckle. “I’ve just been a little stressed out lately,” she says, albeit absently, eyes glazed and glassy – faraway.

Kara watches on with concern as Lena then sets her groceries down, ducks her head and scrubs at her face, burrowing herself away into the safe confines of her hands as she soughs in and out deeply.

She lets her stay that way for a moment or two. Head bowed, shoulders slumped and face buried in her hands, bathed under the dim glow of the street lamps.

Because Rao knows how long Lena has been on tenterhooks for.

 _Far too long,_ Kara thinks on sadly.

She deserves that much of a reprieve – a moment to herself – even if it’s for just a little while.

It’s what she deserves.

Allowing her ample time to recollect herself, Kara then reaches over, gingerly coaxing her out of her twine of arms as she takes her hand in hers with ever so much tenderness.

“Come on, let’s get you inside,” she says softly, entwining their fingers together in a small, but intimate gesture while she easily hefts Lena’s share of her groceries into her arm filled with her own groceries. She sends her a warm smile and gently urges her onwards, taking extra effort to steer clear off the suspicious-looking black sedan. “I’ll whip you up something special.”

Now, that earns her a tiny amused smile from Lena.

“You say that, but really, you’re only just going to make me a cup of hot chocolate, aren’t you?”

Kara throws her head back in a short laugh, blue eyes twinkling. “Well, so far, it has never failed to put that smile back on your face,” she deflects, shooting Lena what she hopes to be a suave wink.

But Lena only muffles back on a chuckle, as if tickled by her effort. She just can’t pull off _suave_ for some reason. Maybe as Supergirl, yes. But as bumbling, awkward Kara – not at all. (Although, it still doesn’t stop her from trying. So long as it means getting Lena to so much as smile.)

“That’s only because you’re the one making it,” says Lena with a snort. And now that they’re within the safe perimeters of her apartment building, past its sliding doors and waiting for the elevator to come pick them up in its lobby, she seems far more relaxed; her shoulders losing its steep slope in its stance and her smile regaining its usual ease, twirling softly at her lips. “You know I don’t like sweet stuff.”

Kara gasps aloud, face scrunching into an exaggerated show of mock hurt. “Are you saying that all this time you’ve never once liked any of my hot chocolate?”

Shaking her head, Lena lets loose a pretty little laugh, and when she turns to look over her shoulder at Kara next, her eyes are filled with soft, dancing lights.

Something in her gaze stops Kara short then, her heart stuttering in her chest.

“I’m saying that ****_you_**** cheer me up.”

Kara catches her breath, and despite herself, she stumbles, nearly tripping off her toes. The impact of Lena’s words had certainly packed quite the punch, stealing the air right out of her lungs – albeit in a good way. And now, she’s left feeling oddly winded and weak in the knees; all in the meanwhile, her heart is doing flips at hundred miles per hour, racing and soaring up high and beyond to the heavens.

She doesn’t need a mirror to know for a fact that she’s smiling away dopily like some fool in the middle of Lena’s apartment lobby.

“You coming?”

At the sound of Lena’s striking voice, Kara immediately forces herself out of her reverie with one good sobering shake, and glances back up at Lena, albeit still rather in a daze. Though, she realises belatedly that the woman is no longer standing beside her, but ahead of her in the elevator with a finger jammed against a button with a curious expression on her face.

“If you want to take the stairs it’s fine by me–”

As Lena pointedly takes her finger off the button as the elevator jerks to life, doors closing in on itself, Kara makes for a frenzied scramble, sprinting right through the closing doors with just a touch of super-speed, barely making it in by a hair’s breadth.

Now, standing within the confines of the elevator, Lena slants her a coy glance, simpering. “Did I make your heart skip a beat there, _Supergirl_?” She husks lowly – eyes glinting knowingly – as she raises a brow in playful tease.

Kara can only try to contain the reddening blush, dusting across her cheeks while she sighs in defeat.

“Yes, Miss Luthor,” she grouses, though quite able to stop herself from smiling nonetheless, “yes, you did.”

 

* * *

 

Dimmed lights.

A half-filled wine glass.

And a moderately drunk Lena splayed haphazardly across her lounge with her legs propped up over its armrest, still dressed in her business attire – top button unbuttoned and blouse terribly wrinkled.

Kara had known upon her first couple steps into her apartment that, it’s without a doubt, one of those ****_nights_****.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Lena slurs as she clumsily rights herself, and throws Kara what had probably intended to be a foxy grin, though made dopey by the alcohol. “Saved any damsels lately?”

“Only just a couple,” answers Kara, with just the barest tilt of her lips at the tiny pout that instantly graces Lena’s features. “Are you jealous?”

“Maybe a little,” Lena admits, albeit in a low mutter, cheeks flushed from the after-effects of the alcohol running through her system, loosening her tongue by just a wee bit. She welcomes Kara’s approach with wide-open arms, urging her on to come snuggle with on the lounge.

Kara releases a quiet laugh at that, making herself comfortable as Lena immediately curls in onto her, twining her limbs around Kara like a vine while she nuzzles and burrows deep into the crook of her neck.

Lena can be adorably needy like that sometimes, and it only further softens Kara’s heart out to her. Though, in saying that, it still doesn’t necessarily distract Kara from the pressing issue at hand.

“You’ve been drinking again.” Kara sighs, eying the damage splayed across the coffee table; from the empty bottle of whiskey that had rolled off the edge of the table and onto the carpeted floor, to the half-filled wine glass with that hairline crack in it. She frowns.

“I have,” murmurs Lena in an awfully quiet voice, and Kara could feel her shiver slightly, despite the lack of any draft wind getting into the apartment. So she holds her just a little closer, raking her fingers through her dark mane in the manner she knows would soothe her best.

“Rough day at work?”

Lena stiffens sharply in her arms then, and her breath almost hitches in her throat painfully. But the brief moment comes to a close when she releases a deep, long sigh that rattles past the weariness embedded in her bones. A signal of the level of tension she had reached, something like an old-fashioned kettle - still full even when steam had already been forced out.

“You can say that.” She breathes shakily, prying herself away from Kara to reach for her wine glass. The slight tremor of her hand doesn’t go unnoticed by Kara.

Her gaze is dark and sombre as she swirls at her glass, watching the dark red liquid swish back and forth, _back and forth_. She looks more way spent and exhausted than she is drunk at the moment, and Kara can only guess what worrying thoughts could be running through her mind.

At this point, she knows better than to pry. Whatever ‘Luthor’ business will remain unasked, and vice versa; if it’s any means to keep whatever it is of a ‘relationship’ between them afloat.

Though, between Lena’s mounting paranoia of her brother finding out about their little ‘tryst’ and everything else, there really hasn’t been much of a Luthor-Super confrontation in the last couple of months. And to be honest, Kara has never really thought much of this sudden lapse of inactivity before. Merely taking it as a welcome break from their usual nefarious plots of alien eradication. Though thinking about it now, this slow period of inertia could only mean one thing – the Luthors are up to something really, really bad. Something ****_huge_****.

And all that must have no doubt taken quite the mental toll on Lena.

Unspeakable things, committed in the name of her family.

_(The blood of an innocent on her hands.)_

But despite it all, it’s not a cold-blooded murderer that Kara sees sitting beside her on the lounge. But a tortured soul of a scared young girl, bound by the sins of her family; a glass pawn in a black-and-white chess set – out of place and utterly breakable.

A victim, just as much as everyone else.

Ever so gently, Kara picks the wine glass off Lena’s trembling fingers and sets it aside on the table. “You do know that I'll _**always**_ come ****flying to your rescue, right?” She says softly, looking to Lena earnestly, with all of that ever so fiery conviction of hers.

Lena regards her warmly for a moment, a certain tenderness softening her gaze, as she all but smiles a broken smile. “Surely, there are going to be times when you can’t, Kara.” She says quietly, and Kara hates the fact that the usual mischievous twinkle in her eye is gone, replaced by this cloud of unending sadness and resignation. “And that is… fine too.”

“Well, I’ll damned well try.” Kara insists vehemently, baby blues blazing brightly as she surges forth to clasp at Lena’s hand.

“Of course you will,” is merely Lena’s half-hearted response, looking none too convinced. Just as Kara opens mouth, heated retort poised and ready at the tip of her tongue, she presses a finger up against her lips. “Nah-uh. Don’t go around making promises you know you can’t keep, Kara.” She says, with the slightest hint of a slur, eyes a dark muddled green. “We both know that it’s not going to end well.”

“But I–”

“Look, let’s not squabble about this tonight.”

Lena nearly all but beseeches her, and Kara can see it in her eyes – from the bags beneath them that even make-up can’t conceal – that she is so very, very tired.

With a sigh, she slumps her body forwards, leaning heavily up against Kara. “Just hold me,” she whispers in a voice so thin and so fragile, so much so that it could have been easily swept away by a fleeting breeze. But Kara hears the plea in it all the same: as clear as day. “Please?”

Wordlessly, without missing a beat, she throws her arms over the trembling form of Lena and captures her into a tight embrace.

Kara is many things. An invulnerable Kryptonian with all-mighty powers for one.

But if there’s one thing she is powerless to, it may very well be this woman in her arms, she thinks.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Kara.”

At the call of her name, Kara halts abruptly in her long purposeful strides to the DEO’s break room and turns to look over at her cape-cladded shoulders, none too surprised to see her adoptive sister at her heels.

But what is most surprising is the buzzing energy bounding off from her sister as she struggles to keep herself from fidgeting, almost from excitement.

“Alex, hey, what’s up?”

“Remember the thing you asked me to look into a week or so ago?”

It takes Kara a long belated moment before she realises just what it is that Alex is getting at, but when she does, she finds herself bouncing at the balls of her feet, alight with that same feverish excitement as Alex.

“Isotope 454?”

“Yep,” Alex smirks, looking especially smug and pleased with herself as she guides Kara down the hallway and into the research laboratory by the arm.

“Just what did you find?” Kara gasps, a ball of frenetic energy as she eases herself into the seat that Alex gestures her to take, unable to quite sit herself still.

Alex laughs, “Slow down, tiger. I’m getting to it, just give me a sec’.” Fingers flying across the keys of the extremely advance DEO technology, the hologram table before them flares to life. “I swear I literally had to scour the entire database dry for this, but this right here is the atomic structure of isotope 454.”

Kara catches her breath just then, staring in awe at the hologram floating right before her eyes.

“As the name suggests, it is derived from element 454, which is apparently a synthetic element.”

“So it’s man-made,” murmurs Kara musingly, reaching in to twirl at the holographic structure for a better inspection.

There’s a certain familiarity to it. Something she can’t exactly pinpoint, sitting on the tip of her tongue. Almost like she has seen it before somewhere, but hasn’t all at the same time. Maybe in a dream of some sort.

Then again, she ****_was_**** a member of Krypton’s science guild, after all. As short her time in her guild was, it had exposed her to many of the universe’ chemical elements. For all she knows, it could have merely been an element similar to something she had briefly covered in her studies.

It shouldn’t be anything of particular concern, she thinks, mentally writing it off as her overactive imagination.

“Yes, and here’s the catch. It is produced exclusively by LCorp, and LCorp only.”

Kara stiffens sharply, lips thinning into a frown, her thoughts turning to that of a single person.

_Lena…_

“But, at the moment, I’ve actually yet to find out the use and function of this isotope,” admits Alex with a short sigh of disappointment, eyes studying the projection in front of her, “or why the Luthors are so dead-set on creating it. Though, considering its extremely unstable nature, I suppose one can only imagine why.”

Kara had to suppress a shiver at that thought. Vaguely, she remembers the deadline that Lillian Luthor had so forcefully given Lena. And if her math is any good, Lena is right about a day or two shy of meeting said deadline.

At the ever so generic jingle of her iPhone’s ringtone chiming through the DEO laboratory, Kara snaps back at attention, violently jolting out from her thoughts.

She looks to Alex sheepishly. “Sorry, I have to take this,” she says, just as Alex begins to fan her away and out of the room.

Once she’s sure out of earshot, tucked away in some secluded corner of the hallway, she picks up her call, fully expecting it to be none other than a work-related call from CatCo.

“Hey, you’ve reached Kara Danvers–”

_‘Miss Danvers!’_

All at once, Kara’s blood instantly freezes over to ice as the colour drains away from her face at the recognition of the deep characteristic timbre of a voice she has heard one too many times before.

_‘I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time. This is Lex Luthor, or as we’ve been introduced before, Lena’s annoying big brother.”_

The booming laughter resounding from her phone’s earpiece is nothing short of warm and friendly, but it certainly does little to allay the uneasiness budding within the cracks of her ribs, slowly crushing the air right from her lungs.

The grip she has on her phone tightens just by the slightest of a fraction before she finally remembers herself, as she barely manages to abstain from completely breaking her phone into smithereens.

“Oh, um, hey. Hello.” Kara swallows, and chuckles nervously into her phone as she attempts to steady her rapidly pounding heart from beating out of her chest. “What can I do for you, Mister Luthor?”

_‘I know this might come across as a little sudden, but I happen to be in town at the moment and there are some things that I’d like to discuss with you, Miss Danvers. I’m sure you’re familiar with the place Noonan’s?’_

“Y-yes!” She chirrups, a little far too brightly for her taste, albeit hoping that it would cover up for the subtle quaver of her voice. “I’m familiar with it.” The words taste acrid on her tongue, and it almost vaguely feels like she’s sealing the hatch to her casket.

_‘Great! Since you must probably be on your lunch break, let’s meet up in ten-ish or so. That should give you ample time to make your way down and across the street from Catco. Right, in any case, I shan’t take up any more of your time. I’ll see you soon, Miss Danvers.’_

And just like that, the line cuts away into a long foreboding silence, that echoes on through the recesses of her mind like a piercing, incessant ring. Propping herself up with a hand against the wall, Kara feels oddly light-headed, dizzy and sick. Her knees feel weak and her hands have yet to stop trembling ever since the start of her call with the very infamous Lex Luthor.

Just what has she gotten herself into?

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i know it's been a long time since the last update, and im not even sure if anyone's still reading this, but i'm not going to be abandoning this baby just yet. especially not when we're just a couple more chapters left to the big finale. there's probably a slim chance that i might get criticised for writing the things i've written in this chap, but eh. please see re:chapter 5 comments for that. but anyhow, let's hope the next update will be a lot quicker this time around, and i'll see you guys soon!


	12. a threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My apartment is bugged,” sighs Lena after a long beat. 
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “And so is my phone too, I think.”
> 
> “Your phone?” Kara glances down at her, incredulous. “Didn’t you say it was–”
> 
> “–unhackable. Yes, it is.” Lena interjects wearily, eyes dark and expression grim. “But I’m not the only genius in the family.”

Kara has never once thought the day she’d ever dread going to Noonan’s would come.

But alas, it did.

Pushing through the doors into the quaintly modest diner with her heart in her throat and her stomach in knots (and possibly, jelly for knees), it had almost felt like any other ordinary day. With the ever present aroma of burnt grease hanging heavily in the air, and the hustle and bustle of the lunch crowd rapidly filling the space of the diner, the clinking of cutlery and the sizzle of patties on the grill in the distance.

Where Kara would simply brisk right in, head up to the counter and grab her usual lunch order with a healing cup of coffee to go, before heading back down to CatCo to finish the rest of her day.

But no, that won’t be the case for today.

“Mister Luthor,” greets Kara, albeit with a fairly stiff smile. Nerves and their current circumstances aside, it’s honestly as cordial as she can get.

Considering their identities.

Standing there, right in the epicentre of the family establishment, it’s almost amazing to how oblivious the rest of the world is to what is perpetually unfolding right before their very eyes; going about their peaceful lives all the while not seeing their encounter for what it truly is: a confrontation between a Super and a Luthor.

Glancing up from the tablet he’s been fiddling with, Lex Luthor graces her with a large, disarming grin that crinkles the corners of his eyes winningly, virtually seeming to light up the entirety of the room.

“Ah, Miss Danvers.”

It hadn’t been exactly hard spotting the infamous Luthor amidst the sea of hungry diners. What with his primly pressed custom-tailored Armani suit and his tall stature standing out in the crowd of your everyday white-collared working men like a sore thumb. That, and the constant gawking and staring at his general direction, it’s practically hard not to notice his presence.

Kara would have forgotten about his near-celebrity status if it weren’t for the incessant excitable whispers surrounding them.

Her gaze involuntarily flickers down onto the hearty platter set out across the table, and her surprise must have shown her face when Lex speaks up once more.

“I’m afraid that they don’t have potstickers here, but I hope the super deluxe burger will be to your liking nonetheless,” he remarks airily.

Kara stiffens, sucking on an imperceptible breath.

“H-how did you–”

Lex only smiles a little wider at that, looking oddly pleased, and it makes the hairs on the back of Kara’s neck stand.

He gestures over to the empty spot across from him at the table, leaning forward slightly. “Please, have a seat, Miss Danvers.”

Acquiescing, Kara warily shuffles over to make herself comfy, albeit as comfy as she can possibly get in the presence of the one and only Lex Luthor. Shoulders rigid and her back, ram-rod straight, every voice in her head is literally telling her to get up and run. Run as far as her powers can take her.

But the better part of her instinct tells her to stay.

To hold down the fort and protect.

“Oh, do dig in,” urges Lex, as if sensing Kara’s hesitation – the stiff way in which she carries herself. “Lunch is on me, after all.” He laughs, light and breezy, his smile perfectly good-natured and oh so inscrutable.

Though, Kara doesn’t miss the brief flash in his vivid green eyes.

She watches as he takes a slow sip of his coffee, then gingerly forks at his salad – something that is completely unheard of at a place like Noonan’s – looking every bit relaxed and nonchalant, but so very regal and dignified all at the same time. If he’s repulsed by the food and atmosphere of the place, he certainly doesn’t show.

And to think he’d actually deliberately stoop down to a common folk’s level by dining away in some dingy booth at Noonan’s, instead of rubbing shoulders with the rest of high society in one of those fancy restaurants down Fifth Avenue.

“You, um, had something you wanted to discuss with me?” Kara asks, unable to stop herself from fidgeting as she pushes at her glasses that are sliding off the bridge of her nose.

The enticing platter before her remains fixedly untouched.

“Straight down to business, I see?” Lex remarks with the barest hint of amusement, green eyes twinkling fetchingly under the light.

In any other circumstances, Kara would have found him charming, attractive even. Roguish good looks paired with a silver-tongue that could easily lure in any poor unsuspecting soul with his honey-sweet words. She can definitely see the appeal in him; of why the masses would follow him to the ends of the earth despite his acts of moral turpitude.

But she thinks she knows him well enough at this point to see through that façade of his, nor fall for his wiles.

She holds his gaze unflinchingly.

Lex sighs affectedly, obliging. “Very well,” he says, before whipping out the very same tablet he was fiddling with before, and slides it across to Kara’s side of the table. “This,” he drawls, just as her gaze rivets onto the flashing screen in front of her, “is you.”

And as Kara takes in the sight before her, eyes scanning past line after line of pixels and words, she finds her heart rate steadily begin to pick up on its pace, clumsily stumbling over one beat after another as if trying to find a means to escape the confines of her chest.

Because staring her right in her face, is a head-shot of her bespectacled-self, followed by information after information on Kara Danvers. Literally everything there is on her, from her alleged birth to her time in college. CVs and resumes that she had torn up and burnt after several failed interviews. Things she had never thought were ever accessible again, unearthed and brought to light – glaring back at her with a certain vengeance.

She doesn’t even realise her hands had started to tremble until she places the tablet down.

“I’d already taken a brief glance at it, if you don’t mind,” Lex begins, his tone conversational and light, as if they had been merely discussing the weather, extreme invasion of Kara’s privacy aside. “Though I suppose you can now say that I have quite the grasp on who you really are as a person, Miss Kara Danvers. Your likes and dislikes.”

Setting his coffee down with a delicate ‘clink’ that seems to resonate through the entire diner, he glances back up at Kara, and this time, there’s a distinct glint to his eyes. A dangerous glint that Kara’s is all too familiar with.

“Your past and your ****_present_****.”

Suddenly, the world feels as if it’s spinning around her, its various shades and hues painted in startling technicolour – too bright and too sharp for her eyes – and the chatter and murmurs of the patrons in the diner, coming at her from all corners, is almost too loud and shrill. It makes her want to run and hide, to plugs at her ears and bury away in her pillows, all the while, praying for it to all go away.

But no, she’s no longer that scared little girl she once used to be.

“Are you threatening me, Mister Luthor?” She asks, in an awfully quiet voice, surprised even by herself at how controlled and calm she had sounded then, fists balled and eyes blazing.

Her heartbeat is literally through the roof, but she supposes that it’s also more of a blessing in disguise at this point of time as she focuses on the rapid stutter of her heart, using it as an anchor to ground herself.

She forces herself to meet Lex’ stare head-on.

“No, of course not!” Lex laughs, looking incredulous, his laughter booming. “Well, unless you give me a reason to.” His words are loaded, and Kara knows that, having caught on to the underlying hint of a warning in them despite his charming grin – a contrast to his cold, and calculating gaze that is scrutinising her at this very juncture.

He regards her quietly for a moment as Kara struggles against her urge to fidget.

“I like you, Miss Danvers.” He decides, after what feels like an eternity. “You come across as quite the genuine sort.”

Though, even then Kara can hear the thinly veiled ‘but’ buried under the subtle tone and nuances of his seemingly genuine remark.

Lex releases a sigh then, and the next time their eyes meet, he’s no longer smiling. Instead, his lips are pressed, curled into a deep-set frown, barely bordering on a snarl, green eyes flashing with a wild glint that Kara recognises from all of her past confrontations with him.

In that second, he has never looked more like the Lex Luthor she knows and resent – dangerous and every bit vicious.

“But what I don’t like is you hanging around my darling sister, because I have a bad, ****_bad_**** feeling about you and your ****_too_**** pristine records, Kara Danvers.”

But the moment ends in a blink of an eye when Lex straightens at his jacket, smoothening out the invisible creases in them as he puts on a practiced smile, the mania in his eyes dissipating into clear forest green.

“But Lena clearly likes you, and you make her happy too, so I guess the jury is still out,” he sighs affectedly, rising to his feet. When he stares down at Kara next, his eyes are once again a stormy tumultuous grey, his smile glassy and cold. “Do take heed, Miss Danvers. Whatever your intentions are towards my dearest sister, you better damned well pray that it’s genuine.”

And as he stuffs his tablet back into his pocket and proceeds to make for a graceful exit, he turns to look over his shoulder at Kara, leaving her with one last, albeit chilling departing message:

“And know that I’ll be keeping an extremely close eye on you from here on out.”

 

* * *

 

“Pick up, pick up, please pick up.”

As her call gets once again diverted back into Lena’s voicemail, the creeping sense of panic and doubt only seems to consume her further, weighing on her like a constant presence, numbing at her fingertips and twining over the muscled organ in her chest like thorned vines as it squeezes and squeezes at her till there’s nothing else she can give.

Her fingers tremble as she sends off what feels like her millionth text message to Lena. But just like the rest, it remains unread and unanswered.

Kara feels sick.

It goes without saying that her untimely encounter with Lex had left her completely and utterly rattled. And now, pair that up with the radio silence on Lena’s end, it’s literally an amalgamation of all of her worst nightmares put together.

With one hand dishevelling her hair out of its usual ponytail and clumsily undoing the buttons of her shirt, the other rapidly punches in Lena’s number yet again as she waits, praying and hoping that this time – ****_this time_**** – she’ll finally get through.

She doesn’t.

Her stomach sinks as fear digs its claw further into her abdomen.

She glowers hard at her phone, willing it to light up with a notification.

A reply, a call.

Something.

Anything.

So long as it means that Lena is still alive and well.

Because Gods know what the Luthors would do to her if they’d find out. Considering the things they had committed in cold blood, Kara doesn’t think it beyond them to lay a hand on Lena if push ever comes to shove.

Own flesh and blood or not, they aren’t exactly the forgiving type.

Gritting at her teeth, Kara takes to the air with a bounding leap, embracing the fresh sting of the cool autumn air against her cheeks and the rush of the wind through her hair as a welcome distraction. On any other day, she would have done a quick patrol around town before calling it a day. But today, she has all but one goal – a single destination – in mind.

Lena.

The second Kara’s feet touch the cold hard concrete of Lena’s balcony, she had known instinctively that something was amiss; if the complete darkness of her apartment is anything to go by.

A cursory glance into her living room only reveals it to be as empty as it looks to be. No empty glasses of wine or alcohol on its coffee table.

No drunk Lena half-slumped across the lounge.

The entire apartment is a dead, unnatural quiet, save for the sound of Kara’s own breathing that is coming out way too shallow and quick to her liking, as with the erratic beats of her heart pounding away in her ears.

Taking a tentative step forward, she sucks in a shaky breath, and is right about to call out into the seemingly empty apartment when something physical ploughs straight into her person, knocking the very air out of her lungs.

But before Kara can even voice her surprise or react accordingly, a pair of inexplicable soft lips had crashed against her own, silencing her startled cry as her perpetrator toddles them over to the edge of the balcony.

But upon recognising the oh so very familiar heat and the sweet, ****_sweet_**** fragrance of shampoo that she so often wakes up to each morning, for the very first time that day, the tension in her muscles abates as she eases herself into her lover’s embrace, lips gliding over one another in a familiar dance.

Drawing apart, she slides her eyes open slowly, and takes in the sight of Lena standing before her, all healthy and well, without a single strand of hair out of place.

Kara has never been more relieved in her life.

However, as she opens her mouth to express said-relief, she is once again interrupted by Lena, albeit with a hand clamped securely over her mouth. Up close like this, under the faint glow of the moonlight, she can see that her eyes are a dark dour green and her expression is grave.

Which is, from experience, never a good sign.

She looks to Lena questioningly, trying to convey her perplexity and confusion through her gaze alone, when Lena merely holds up a finger to her lips – the universal gesture to keep silent – and steps away from her gingerly.

And then without a word, she jumps; hurling herself over the edge of the balcony in one swift movement that sends Kara’s heart skyrocketing into high heavens as she dives in right after her without missing a beat, barely a hair’s breadth away from breaking the sound barrier.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Kara exclaims shrilly, the second she has Lena wrapped, safe and sound in her arms.

But Lena only throws her head back with a laugh, eyes wild and hair mussed, looking almost slightly crazed, and for a second Kara worries that her family might have gotten to her before she did.

“I just thought I should live on dangerously for once,” she remarks, albeit breathlessly, with an impish grin that lights up the green of her eyes.

“And if I hadn’t been quick enough to catch you?”

“Oh, but didn’t you say you’ll always come flying to my rescue?” Lena blinks, glancing up at Kara from her arms, eyes wide and oh so seemingly innocent.

Kara sputters on hopelessly, “Y-yes, but t-that’s—”

She cuts herself off abruptly when Lena burrows into the crook of her neck, laughing. “Go on,” she urges, trying her best to hide her grin, though Kara can still feel the curl of her lips against her skin. She braces a look up at Kara then, all tease and challenge.

“This is not the time for you to be making a point, Lena.” Kara pouts, sighing as she tightens her grip over her lover, having never been gladder to have her in her arms.

Lena chuckles softly, nuzzling up against her in reciprocation. “Just saying,” she murmurs, leaning up to press an affectionate kiss on the underside of Kara’s jaw.

The next minute or two is then spent in a relatively comfortable silence, with the two lovers luxuriating in each other’s presence, sharing a quiet moment to themselves as they admire the city’s skyline from a distance up in the air.

From the twinkling lights of the city below, to the moon, sparkling overhead like a spotlight. It all would have been picture-perfect, probably worthy as a closing scene to a beautiful love story.

If it weren’t for the pressing matters at hand.

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to guess myself?” Kara asks, deciding to bite the bullet once and for all and shatter the illusion of their idyll.

Better to rip that band-aid off now than later.

“My apartment is bugged,” sighs Lena after a long beat.

“What?”

“And so is my phone too, I think.”

“Your phone?” Kara glances down at her, incredulous. “Didn’t you say it was–”

“–unhackable. Yes, it is.” Lena interjects wearily, eyes dark and expression grim. “But I’m not the only genius in the family.”

Kara nervously nibbles away at her bottom lip at the mention of that. “Speaking of which… I’ve got news of my own too.” Inwardly, she cringes. Way to top off the bad news with even more bad news.

Lena breathes a long sigh, and frowns, her distress wrinkling at her forehead, forming a small kink between her brows that Kara is so tempted to reach over to smoothen out.

“We’ll talk more when we get to your place,” she says, taking quick stock of their surroundings, as if realising for the first time that they weren’t exactly flying, so much so as merely just hovering up in the air. “If… that’s where we’re headed to, because I just assumed.”

“Oh, um. Yeah, sure.” Kara coughs, blushing abashedly. “Hang on tight.”

“Oh my god, Kara.” Lena gasps, aghast, rolling a light punch at Kara in chastise. “Have you been flying us in circles this entire time?”

“Well, I thought it’d be nice if we did a romantic cruise around town or something. I mean since we’ve never really done that before…” The Super chuckles nervously, trying to avoid the Luthor’s chiding gaze, to no avail.

Chancing on the opportunity, she ducks down quickly to kiss her lover on her temple in a placating gesture.

“Just saying.”

 

* * *

 

Watching Lena pad into her apartment for the very first time, eyes all wide and curious as she appraises the entirety of her loft, Kara catches the odd case of butterflies in her belly. Suddenly, she feels young again – giggly and self-conscious – like a high schooler left alone in a big empty house with her crush.

It strikes her then that she’s essentially letting Lena into her sanctuary. A special place where she can be who she truly is without any fear of exposure or repercussions, whatsoever – a part of herself that is closed off from the rest of the world but only a selected few people in her life.

And she wonders what Lena thinks of it.

“It’s very you. I like it.”

Kara can’t help herself from beaming brightly at that, preening. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

But once they’re settled in on Kara’s distinctly smaller lounge, the atmosphere dampens once more with the gravity of their situation finally catching up on them.

“So about before…”

“My apartment is completely bugged, and so is my office at LCorp,” Lena explains with a quick exasperated throw of her hands into the air, “and by relation, so is probably my phone.”

With a sigh, she haphazardly tosses said-phone onto Kara’s coffee table, then slouches forward, rubbing tiredly at her temples.

“My family is getting suspicious, Kara.”

“About that,” Kara begins tentatively, worrying at her bottom lip. “Your brother rang me up and we met for lunch today.”

Lena shoots up at that, bristling. “He did? Shit,” she curses vehemently, jumping to her feet as she starts to pace the length of Kara’s living area. “Shit, shit, shit!” She runs her fingers through her windblown hair, tugging and pulling at its already dishevelled state. “This is bad. This changes everything. I thought I had more time, but he’s catching on fast.”

“Lena?”

“I’m running out of time.” Lena grits, turning to gnaw at the edge of her thumb to work through her frenetic energy.

Her pacing continues, albeit at a more frantic pace, matching the erratic rhythm of her heart.

“Is this about isotope 454?”

“It’s not just about that damned isotope. It’s about everything!” Lena snaps, eyes wild and deeply troubled.

For a split second there, Kara sees the sliver of her brother’s shadow in her.

And it scares her.

“Alright, Lena, you’ve got to calm down,” says Kara slowly, holding out a placating hand as she approaches Lena with the same caution one would take to a frightened animal.

“I can’t calm down,” Lena blusters on heatedly, breaths now coming out short and shallow, and fingers quaking violently as they card through her dark lock over and over again in a manner that is characteristic of an impending panic attack. “This… You’ve no idea who you’re dealing wit– mmpf.”

Unwilling to allow Lena to progress any further with her imminent hysteria, Kara springs into action, crushing and sealing their lips together in a dizzying kiss, hoping that it would serve enough of a distraction to take Lena’s mind off things. At least just for a little while.

Thankfully, in no less than a heartbeat, Lena relaxes, melting into her arms as their kiss turns slow and languid.

“That’s not fair,” whispers Lena after pulling away, albeit their noses still brushing and their foreheads still pressed up against one another. She draws her arms up around Kara’s neck and links her hands together, pulling her close.

“It’s payback from before,” Kara whispers back with just a smidge of tease, nuzzling Lena affectionately before kissing her chastely on the lips. “Things are going to be fine, we’ll work this through together. Let me help you.”

“You can’t,” Lena answers, shaking her head, and there’s that distinct warble of unease leaking back into her voice once more. She has never sounded more afraid and vulnerable than this very moment.

“You never know until you try.”

Kara awaits patiently, holding her breath as she watches Lena slides her eyes open, watery forest green hues staring straight back at her, so full of dancing light and emotions – so full of ****_hope_****.

Lena’s lips part with a tremble, and just when it looks like she might just take up on Kara’s offer to help, she hesitates, drawing back away slightly.

She closes her eyes, and the next time they’re opened, the hope is gone and her walls are up.

Kara deflates despite herself.

“You know what? I don’t want to think about this right now. I don’t want to think about my family. I don’t want to think about anything else. Right now, it’s just you and me. Can’t we at least have that for awhile?”

When Lena reaches in, hands cradling the sides of Kara’s face, with her thumbs tracing the curve of her cheeks with ever so much of tenderness, and her deep green eyes peering up at her imploringly so, Kara doesn’t think she has it in her to deny her anything.

If she had asked Kara for the stars then, she would have gladly picked it out of the night sky for her.

“I suppose we can sleep on it for now.”

“For now,” Lena echoes in agreement.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: aaand we're two more chapters left to the big finale! i hope you guys are excited as i am to finish this story once and for all. were you guys shitting bricks at the whole Lex-Kara encounter? ahahaha. welp, and i'll see you guys soonish, i hope! 
> 
> thank you all for reading!


	13. catching raindrops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i'd recommend putting on your saddest music for this one. oh, and prepare yourself a box of tissue too. angst ahead.

With all the powers imbued by Earth’s yellow sun, it goes without saying that Kara prides herself on her extremely sensitive Kryptonian senses.

What with the way it alerts her to the coming of an intruder; the sound of their footsteps, as with the sound of their heartbeat, droning away from a distance. How a quick x-ray vision through the walls can so easily give away their position. It’s all so simple to fall reliant on it, especially when it comes to Kara so very naturally like breathing.

Though, at its core, it’s really just a precarious juggling act. Hone in too much into her senses, and it becomes sensory overload. Hold back too much, and the world is dulled. Finding that middle ground is something Kara still struggles with even today, having the occasional slip up when she’s overwrought or agitated every now and then. Though, she has definitely gotten a better hang of it over the years.

But for some reason, just by being in Lena’s presence alone, can sometimes threaten to offset that extremely fine balance, tipping the scales entirely. Years of training down the drain in a blink of an eye. Gone, at the feel of Lena’s skin against her own; fingers tracing down the indent of her spine, eliciting a trail of goosebumps as they go, tingling pleasantly in its path.

Oh, the way their bodies meld into each other like a perfect fit – curve to curve, plane to plane. The sweet scent of her shampoo and hair shrouding over her, permeating her nostrils and filling her lungs as she holds her close in her arms.

How she would so often lose herself to the all-consuming beat of Lena’s heart, pulsing away in her chest, pounding at a steady rhythm. And it’s all so very lulling and soothing to her senses.

Suddenly, she is everything.

And the world is nothing.

Aside for them two.

It becomes so easy to forget that there exist people and responsibilities outside their cocoon of sheets and limbs.

Which is probably why Kara didn’t notice the footsteps building up to her apartment, nor the jangle of keys and the twisting of the doorknob until it is all too late.

“I hope you’re starving ‘cause I went overboard and bought…”

At the jarring clatter of keys hitting her hardwood floor, Kara bolts right up from her slumber, inadvertently pushing off a sleeping Lena who’s haphazardly strewn across her front. Eyes still heavily laden with sleep, she forces them open with much effort as her vision finally focuses onto the lean form of Alex, staring at her from her kitchen counter.

Her sleep-addled brain only then dimly registers the shock-stricken, gobsmacked expression written across Alex’s face – her eyes wide, mouth ajar and jaw slack.

When it finally hits Kara.

Belatedly, she scrambles to grip at her sheets, pulling them up to her chest in a vain attempt to preserve what’s left of her modesty.

“What’s going on?” Lena mumbles drowsily from her side, having awoken from the rustle of commotion as she scrubs at her eyes blearily, moving to sit herself upright.

All in the meanwhile, Kara is frantically tugging at their sheets, preventing it from slipping off of her lover’s pale shoulders any further, lest she exposes herself completely to her adoptive sister, who is apparently growing redder and redder by the second.

And Kara sure as hell knows that it’s not out of embarrassment.

She also sure as hell knows better than to fight a losing battle and to cut her losses while she still can.

With a deeply resigned sigh, Kara braces a glance up at Alex’ irate face, meeting her dark glower. “Give us five minutes to get dressed,” she murmurs lowly, barely above a whisper, gaze imploring, “please?”

Though it’s honestly more for Lena’s sake, considering they both know just how quick it takes Kara to get dressed, super-speed and all.

She watches as Alex’ withering glare flickers over to Lena, who is now very awake and aware of the situation transpiring in the apartment. Her gaze narrows almost in distaste, just as Lena stiffens beside Kara, huddling further away into the sheets.

“Alex,” Kara beseeches, albeit a little more urgently this time, all in hopes to draw the attention off and away Lena – to spare her from all that contempt this early in the morning.

She succeeds when Alex flits her gaze back over to her once more. The steel in her eyes softens just by a margin, however everything else – the heat, the ire, and the disappointment – holds strong, blazingly brightly behind those dark brown orbs.

“Fine, five minutes,” she grouses, lips pursed into a scowl as she throws Lena one last scornful look before storming out of Kara’s apartment and slamming the door shut behind her.

For a brief moment, there is silence.

It’s a welcome reprieve, as short as it is. That is, until Lena speaks up from beside her, voice awfully thin and fragile.

“What now, Kara?”

She catches the stutter in her heartbeat then, the way it stumbles almost clumsily over each beat. The hand that is laid across her arm feels clammy and cold.

Kara forces on a smile, gently taking Lena’s face into her hands as she kisses her tenderly on her forehead. “Go freshen up, take a shower,” she says, smoothening at her hair affectionately, curling a stubborn errant lock behind her ear. She traces a thumb across the apple of her cheek.

“It’s going to be fine, I’ll handle this.”

 

* * *

 

 

Needless to say, things are not fine and Kara is not handling it.

At least, not as well as she had hoped she would have.

Not when Alex is sitting across from her, arms folded primly across her chest, face grim and unreadable, and eyes blazing and glaring daggers right at her as if Kara was some kind of a felon that was dragged in for interrogation.

In the background, the spray of her shower runs on; and it’s a nice, almost welcome distraction, just knowing that Lena is close by. It’s enough to take her mind off the storm that is brewing before her momentarily.

“How long?”

“Three weeks,” answers Kara, quietly in a tiny voice. Hoping that maybe if she were to make herself seem small and inconspicuous, Alex would overlook it all and take everything she says at face value.

“Bullshit,” Alex scoffs, calling out on Kara’s lie without missing a beat. “You’ve probably known her longer than that.”

_Such wishful thinking._

Pursing at her lips, Kara relents with a small sigh and a quick run of her fingers through her hair. “Months,” she replies tersely, hanging at her head as she averts her gaze, trying to ignore the tug of guilt pooling in her gut.

“Months,” Alex echoes back, accusatorily, shaking her head with a long heavy sigh.

Kara flinches despite herself.

She tries to curl in on herself, hugging at her sides in her futile bid to shy away from her sister’s dark, penetrating looks.

To no avail.

“How serious are you two?”

“We, um…” Kara stalls, taking to nibble incessantly away at her bottom lip.

She thinks back to how she and Lena had ended up the way they did. How it was all meant to be something no more than just a ‘heat of the moment’. Something casual with no strings attached. How she had watched it all progressed, changing and growing into something…

Something more.

But even then, there hadn’t been any labels to what they shared.

Even now.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Alex retorts back heatedly, the ire flashing bright in her eyes as she waves her arms about animatedly, gesturing to the entirety of Kara’s apartment. “Half of your wardrobe is gone. Your fridge is empty. There’s dust everywhere. It’s almost like you don’t even live here anymore. I think it speaks for itself, Kara.”

A long, dreadful silence hangs thick in the air then, and it’s loaded and so very telling.

As the tension of the situation looms on over her like an axe swinging above her head, the noose over her neck only tightens.

Kara feels like she can’t breathe.

“I’m sorry,” she mutters after a long beat, head bowed, shoulder slumped and eyes fixedly trained onto the ground, filled with remorse.

The thought of explaining herself did cross her mind at first. But she also knows that it would only mean that she’d be making up more excuses for herself – that she’d be spewing out more lies. And honestly? She’s done with all of that.

How could she?

Especially now when she is faced with the shadows and skeletons brought on by all of her secrecy – the disappointment that is reflecting back at her in Alex’ eyes.

Nothing hurts her more than knowing that she has let her sister down.

“That you were caught? Or for sleeping with the enemy?”

Kara immediately bristles at that, head snapping up to meet Alex’ steely gaze.

“She’s not the enemy.”

“She’s a ****_Luthor_**** , Kara.”

“She’s nothing like her family,” grits Kara, clenching at her fists, balling them atop her lap as she soughs in a steadying breath, trying her best to keep her cool. “Lena… Lena is different.”

Alex sighs, and when she glances over at Kara next, the fire in her eyes almost seems to let up, tapering off into cooling ambers. Almost as if a certain understanding had just dawned upon her. There’s something closely akin to sympathy in them as she regards Kara, albeit this time looking at her in a slightly different light.

“Look, I’m not one to speak. I don’t know her like you do. But what I do know is that her family is dangerous,” she says slowly, choosing her words carefully. “Especially to a Super, like you.”

Kara deflates, expression darkening rapidly.

“I know.”

As if she doesn’t know that already.

She had played with fire, and got herself burnt; stepped a toe too far into the waters, and now, she’s drowning in it.

Even now, she can still hear Lex Luthor’s parting words to her, echoing through the recesses of her mind.

And it chills her to the bone.

“Do you love her?”

Kara startles then, her breath hitching painfully in her throat.

“I...” Her lips part. The words catch on the very tip of her tongue.

As it always does.

She has known for quite some time now. The way her heart sings and her blood roars, coursing through her veins, whenever Lena is nearby. Of how it all bubbles up within her, blossoming in her chest and through the cracks of her ribs with one simple glance.

Oh, how she could turn Kara’s world upside down with just the faintest of smiles.

Make her feel invincible, yet so very vulnerable all at the same time.

Yes, her heart knows it instinctively.

Yearns for it constantly.

But whenever she thinks about their circumstances…

“I can’t say,” whispers Kara brokenly.

Alex pinches at the bridge of her nose, breathing yet another sigh, this time more vexed than anything else.

She shoots Kara a pointed look. “No surprise there either. You haven’t been saying anything at all.” She throws her hands up into the air exasperatedly. “Were you ever planning to tell me about this?”

Kara purses her lips, and drops her gaze.

Keeping secrets has never been her forte. _Rao_ knows how many times she’d wanted to come clean and just blab about everything that’s been going on to Alex – her loyal confidant for years.

It would have probably been easier for her that way too. There would have been less tip-toeing around Alex, and less excuses. Less lies by omission.

In a way, Kara supposes she was being selfish, wanting to keep her and Lena’s little secret to themselves.

 _Just for a little longer_ , she had always found herself thinking. _Let us have this moment to ourselves just for a little longer._

And longer and longer it became.

Now, looking up at Alex, her gaze all expectant and hopeful, the guilt sitting on her shoulders has never felt heavier.

“I thought so too.” Alex nods, taking Kara’s silence for an answer. She rises to her feet, and hastily swipes her keys and purse off the counter surface. “Well, you know what? I’m done. Let me know when you actually do decide to start telling me things.”

Kara, alarmed, finally jumps into action.

“Alex, wait!”

But is ultimately met with the door slamming in her face yet once again.

Although this time, it almost seems to reverberate through the four walls of her apartment, as if mocking her.

She slouches forward into her hands, burying her face in it as she inhales, then exhales out a long shuddering breath. Maybe if she were to hold her eyes shut for long enough, she could somehow will it all away into the sea of endless darkness behind her closed lids.

Maybe if she tried hard enough, she can pretend that all that didn’t just happen.

And that everything is still good, happy and simple.

The sharp click of the lock nearly causes Kara to jump out of her skin then, the sound further amplified by the dead silence of her apartment. And she knows she has probably a good second or two to rearrange her countenance and get her act together before the door to her bathroom slides open and Lena is out, no doubt curious for answers.

She wonders how in the world did she even miss the gurgle of her ancient plumbing system that came with every stop and go of her shower.

(Or the deafening whir of her hair-dryer for that matter.)

Have her senses dulled over that much that literally everything is slipping out of her notice?

Kara barely even manages to plaster on a convincing smile when Lena finally trudges out of her bathroom, fully clothed with her face scrubbed thoroughly free of sleep, and hair dry and brushed, falling carelessly over a shoulder. Kara would have thought her be a little more energised by the shower, but somehow she still looks tired.

Bone-weary.

As if she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She stops, slowly sidling up just in front of Kara, with her lips pursed, expression dark and eyes carefully averted while she fingers at a piece of loose lint along the sleeve of her oversized MIT hoodie.

“Had a good shower?”

“I was done minutes ago actually,” Lena admits quietly – sombrely.

Kara’s stomach sinks. “O-oh, so you…”

She catches Lena’s gaze then. The look on her face is almost penetrating, yet defeated all at the same time.

“I heard mostly everything, Kara.”

Kara deflates, sagging under the gravity of her words. “Oh.” It vaguely feels as if someone had just gutted her right there and then, churning the bile in her stomach as it rises up to the surface, searing the back of her throat.

She swallows it all down, her throat bobbing in well hidden but jerky motions while she makes to busy herself, scurrying over to her kitchen in a desperate attempt to dissipate the heaviness that has settled, imposing itself in the room.

“Coffee?” She asks weakly, hands already moving deftly to pour Lena a cup of fresh brew regardless of her response.

The look in her eye is almost pleading when she hands said-brew over to her – as if it was part of an olive branch. A token of hope.

But Lena only sighs, staring forlornly at Kara’s proffered cuppa as she makes no movement to receive it.

“You know, your sister is right,” she says quietly, eyes dark and full of melancholy. “My family ****_is_**** dangerous.”

Kara sets the mug down onto the counter with a dull, resigned clink, trying her best not to frown. She forces the corners of her lips to curl, injecting as much humour as she can muster into her voice, trying to make light of their current situation. “Well, we all know ‘danger’ is my middle name.”

Lena doesn’t so much as chuckle, much less smile at her witty quip, merely looking on at the spot between their feet despondently while she fidgets with the hem of her hoodie.

She releases a sigh, one that reminds Kara of broken dreams and promises.

The start of a tragedy and the ending to everything.

“I think it’s time we finally open our eyes and face reality.”

“What…” Kara breathes in shakily, swallowing back against the block of ice forming in her throat – and the tears that are welling up in her eyes slowly, but surely. “What are you trying to say?”

And she prays, ****_prays_**** that it’s all just in her head.

That she’s overthinking it and that maybe Lena isn’t saying what she thinks she is saying–

“I don’t think we should be doing this anymore.”

_Oh._

Kara stumbles, her knees nearly giving out then.

“What?” She chokes, her voice a thin warble. She tries to catch Lena’s eye to no avail. Her head remains hung and her eyes are still downcast, and so very inscrutable.

It’s almost akin to watching a train wreck, Kara thinks. She had seen it coming from miles and miles away, but hadn’t done anything to stop it. Nor prepare for it. Only letting it all happen, running her down when it finally hits her square in the chest, leaving her completely and utterly broken.

She feels oddly winded, her chest heavy and tight, as if her blood had turned to tar as it struggles to keep the steady beat of her heart.

_Excruciating._

“I’m a ****_Luthor_**** , Kara,” begins Lena, her voice trembling, worn, and starting to break. “And you’re a Super. No matter what we tell ourselves, it’s never meant to work out in the first place.”

Kara shakes her head. “No… No,” She moves in towards her, movements clumsy and frantic. She lays her hands on her shoulders, and struggles to ignore the pang in her chest when Lena flinches briefly at her touch. “Lena, please don’t say that.”

“It is what it is, Kara.” And this time, Lena’s voice does crack. As if trying to block Kara out, she squeezes her eyes shut and turns away, barely slipping out from Kara’s grasp. “I’m done pretending that there’s ever going to be future for us.”

Kara draws in a hitched breath then, and it burns her lungs like poison. Like kryptonite searing through her veins, setting everything alight on fire – her heart aflame, burnt to cinder and ash.

Her hand hovers falteringly in mid-air as her vision swims, stinging and blurring with tears. But amidst it all, she still manages to catch the quiver of Lena’s shoulders, as if she too is struggling to keep it all together.

As if she’s hurting as much as Kara is too.

She reaches for Lena once more.

Suddenly, from the embers of her anguish, arises a certain anger. Anger for their unjust situation. The circumstances that they’re bound to. The world and their stalwart views of black and white.

Of good and evil.

White-hot and burning, it fuels her on, propels her forward as she clutches at Lena’s arm and spins her around with a steadfast grip, blue eyes blazing bright with unshed tears and conviction.

“Luthor, Super… Why should we let some birthright designate who we can or cannot be with? I’m Kara and you’re Lena, we’re just two women who want to be together. Surely, it can’t be that difficult?”

She searches the forest of Lena’s eyes, past the shimmer of tears and the murky sea of doubt, and sees the hesitation in them – the tiniest spark of hope. But like always – _like always_ – Kara watches it recede back into the darkness at the very last second, winked out away into nothingness till all that is left is the empty shell of comets and stars – resignation and defeat.

“It’s not that simple, Kara,” whispers Lena brokenly, shoulders drooping as she looks away from Kara yet again.

“It really is.” Kara insists, her resilient gaze increasing in strength.

She moves in forward, just as Lena staggers a step back, nearly tripping over her heels in the process when Kara manages to steady her in the nick of time.

Her gaze softens with much fondness as she touches a finger to her cheek, gently pushing her hair out of her face.

“Give us a chance, we’ll make it work.”

A sniffle escapes Lena then, her façade of holding strong wavering and Kara watches it all crumple before her – right beneath her touch.

“Don’t you see? You have so much to lose just by being with me, and I just…”

A watery smile flitters across Lena’s visage, and it is every bit beautiful yet heartbreaking all at the same time. She reaches in, tracing the familiar path across the curve of Kara’s cheek, her touch light and ever so reverent. When she glances up at Kara, her eyes are wet, but so very bright and full of twinkling lights.

“You’re probably one of the best things to have ever happened to me, Kara.” She whispers ardently, holding Kara with the same delicateness one would take to a precious memento – something close to the heart. “You’re so good and so pure and you make me so, so happy.”

As she reaches down the angle of Kara’s jaw, her chin and finally, her lips, Kara begins to get the sense that she is mapping out her features and committing them to memory as if this would be the very last time she’d ever see her.

_As if this is goodbye._

“I just can’t afford to lose you,” Lena cracks, right as a single lone tear slithers down her cheek and she chokes back on a sob. Dropping her forehead down against Kara’s collar, she clutches at the cloth around her chest with trembling hands, weeping quietly. “I can’t.”

“You won’t,” says Kara with absolute certainty. She gently pries her hands off her being, lacing their fingers together as she lays a kiss atop her knuckles, then the inner side of her wrist. “I promise.”

Lena sniffles, shaking her head tearfully. “You don’t know what my brother is capable of.”

“I know,” Kara whispers back, and with ever so much tenderness, she thumbs away at Lena’s tears falling like the silver tails of a comet. “And I don’t care.”

“But I do,” rasps Lena, choking back on yet another sob. “So much, you have no idea.” She cradles Kara’s hand to her cheek, leaning into her touch, luxuriating in her warmth as she takes her in wholly for one delicate second.

But the moment passes when she takes in a shuddering breath, eyes fluttering open, steeled with that usual stubbornness that Kara knows and adore. She forces herself apart, gently guiding Kara’s touch away.

“Which is why we have to stop this right now.”

“No,” repels Kara, shaking her head, her grip on Lena’s fingers firm and unyielding. “Please don’t give up on us,” she says, desperate and frantic. “W-we’ll think of something. We always do!”

Looking away forlornly, Lena manages to wrench herself free from Kara’s grasp.

“I’m sorry, Kara.”

“No, Lena. Please, no!”

As Lena turns on her heels for the exit, Kara makes for one last bid at getting her to stay, clutching at her arm with her heart between her teeth – with hope in her eyes.

“Please, I lov–”

But like always, she never gets to finish that sentence.

Lips crushing against her own, they swallow up her words with a certain desperation, moving against her with a certain passion that mirrors so similar to her own heart’s song.

_Love._

She sees it in her eyes when they finally part to breathe.

Tastes it in the salt of her tears.

Hears it in the hitch in her breath – the skip in her heartbeat.

Feels it in the way she brushes away her tears that are now coursing over her own cheeks in thin spindly rivulets.

“Don’t say it,” Lena whispers, shivering, her gaze sad and imploring. Her breath washes over Kara in soothing waves and even though they are connected by the touch of their foreheads, she still feels so far away. “Please don’t make it any more harder for me to leave you.”

“Lena…” Kara whimpers, eyes teeming and spilling with tears as she clutches onto Lena like a lifeline. “Don’t go.”

Lena leans in, kissing her softly on the lips and it tastes of salt and every bittersweet regret Kara has ever had. Her face feels wet and slippery under her fingertips, stained with tears Kara isn’t sure if it’s her own or Lena’s.

“Let me be the one to do the protecting this round,” she murmurs, tucking a lock of gold-spun hair behind Kara’s ear in an ever so affectionate gesture, then reaches up to press one last lingering kiss between her brows. “Please.”

“No, not like this,” Kara chokes, as feels her slip away right from under her fingertips – like raindrops.

She has never ever been able to catch them. Super reflexes or not, they always manage to fall right through the cracks of her fingers.

“Take care, Kara.”

And with one last tearful look, Lena leaves, taking a part of Kara’s heart along with her.

_But all I ever wanted was you._

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i hate to deliver christmas on such a depressing note/chapter, but it had to be done lol, im sorry. but anyway, we're so close to the end now, are you guys excited? 'cause im sure freaking am! happy holidays everyone!


	14. revelations

"Pony-tail!"

At the characteristic bark of Snapper Carr, Kara starts, snapping her spine straight at attention, albeit not quite prying her eyes from her task at hand. Her fingers still keeping at it is furious pace, flying across her keyboard as strings of letters flit across her screen in rows of sentences and paragraphs.

It is only when Snapper finally slams down onto her desk with a resounding thud that Kara flinches, sheepishly glancing up from her screen with a heavy heart, half-expecting to see a mountain worth of workload dumped upon her.

Only to be greeted with an empty desk, and the dour face of one Snapper Carr glowering down at her.

"W-wha–?"

Her confusion must have shown on her face as Snapper only sighs in that ever so exasperated manner he so frequently does.

"Go home," he grouses, with that usual gravel in his voice.

Kara's eyes flicker over to the time reflected on the corner of her computer screen. "But it's only three," she points out, now more confused than ever.

Snapper sighs, yet once more, as he throws Kara a withering look. "I said," and as Kara attempts to sneak in a couple more lines of writing, he pointedly snaps her laptop shut. "Go home."

Kara sucks in a sharp breath at that, gaping and blinking blankly between her closed laptop and Snapper, gobsmacked and completely baffled.

That had been two whole days worth of writing, and she isn't entirely sure she had that file saved or not.

"When was the last time you had any sleep?" Snapper asks, or more like demands from Kara who barely manages a shrug, slumping back into her chair as she tries not to look too exhausted – or defeated.

It's literally a topic she's been actively avoiding, stowing it away at the back of her head while she buries herself nose deep in work at Catco. – and her duties as Supergirl. The less she thinks of the fatigue riding on her shoulders, the less she feels its shackles and manacles weighing off of her limbs. But then again, she supposes that ignoring it all doesn't necessarily makes it magically go away.

"I was working on that," she deflects, sighing dejectedly.

And as she tries to reach for her laptop, Snapper sends her a piercing glance. "You're not now," he rejoinders gruffly, sliding her laptop just out of her reach.

Like always, she takes it all in stride, putting her hands up in surrender with a half-sigh, half-groan.

"You look like crap." He points out, quite brusquely, without mincing his words as per his usual routine. Kara flinches despite herself as she struggles not to reach for her face instinctively. "Normally, I wouldn't bring it up, but it's been affecting your work. The last thing we all need is for you to somehow screw up and sully Catco's good name."

Kara drops her gaze abashedly, hanging her head. "I'm sorry," she mutters.

Because it just seems like lately, all she's been doing is apologising.

"Fix it, or don't come back at all." Snapper grouses waspishly, and as he turns to make his stormy exit, Kara tries again for her laptop.

But she barely even manages to pry her laptop apart when he whips back about abruptly, glowering darkly at her.

"Go home," he intones, yet once more. And if Kara squints hard enough, she thinks she might have caught the faintest flicker of concern in his eyes just then.

That, or the exhaustion is finally catching up to her.

But it all fades as soon as his gaze hardens over with steel, the warning in his eyes ever so apparent and very real, further accentuated by the ever-present scowl on his face.

"Or you're fired."

 

* * *

 

The first thing Kara does after entering her apartment is to flop, face-first into her bed with a heavy sigh.

Somehow, coming back home when the sun is still out only makes her feel even worse about herself. It's not like she has anywhere else to turn to now when work lets out.

Not when Alex is still giving her the cold shoulder.

And Lena...

_Lena._

Kara whimpers, curling into a tight ball as she grips at her sheets, squeezing her eyes shut.

She still can't even go through thinking about her once without bursting into tears.

But she just can't help it.

Everything reminds Kara of her.

_Everything._

From the smell of her sheets, to the green of the trees lining the streets outside.

To the warmth of the sun on her skin, like the soft caress of her finger to her cheek.

Lena is there in every nook and cranny, every turn and every bend. Even when Kara closes her eyes, she still sees her behind her closed lids, smiling back at her tearfully with glistening eyes. And if she focuses hard enough, she can still taste the salt on her lips, smell the sweet fragrance of her hair as it tickles her face.

Feel the softness of her hands cradling at her delicately before it all turns to naught.

Kara lets out a choked sob, burrowing her face deeper into her pillow.

It also doesn't help that she had received a box of her stuff – things that she had left behind at Lena's apartment – just the other day through her mail.

There hadn't been any card. Nor letter. Nothing addressed to her. Just her belongings and all of the memories they shared together, packed and sealed away in a relatively sizable box.

And that was it.

It's been sitting by her door ever since, untouched. Kara doesn't think she has the heart – the courage – to open it just yet.

Not when it all still reeks of **_her_**.

Kara sobs a little harder into her pillow, her tears staining, seeping deeper into its cover.

 _Rao_ , it hurts.

It's been slightly more than a week, but it still hurts.

It hurts so much, like someone had plunged a kryptonite dagger deep into her chest and carved her heart out, leaving her to bleed through the cracks of her ribs till there's nothing left.

Every breath she takes rattles her, and every exhale feels like it could shatter her completely.

She has never felt more weak than this very moment. It's almost as if she's plagued by a sickness that eats away at her bones, tiring away at her muscles and filling them with sand and lead – filling her head with thoughts of nothing but **_Lena_**.

Oh, how she yearns to see her. To hold her; to feel her by her side just one more time.

Kara cries.

She cries, cries and cries till her nose is tinged pink, her eyes are singed red, and her voice turns raw and hoarse. And when the tears finally do stop, she finds herself, huddled in her sheets, shivering and staring blankly at the wall beside her with glazed, empty eyes.

Without work for distraction, it's literally all she does in her free time now.

Cry, stop, work.

Rinse and repeat.

Just what can she do to numb the pain?

Food no longer gives her the same pleasure that it usually does. Everything tastes bland. Like ash on her tongue, it withers away in her throat, turning acrid, then bitter as it settles in her stomach, churning it.

Not even her favourite potstickers can do her any good, as evidenced by the boxes after boxes of Chinese takeaway piling away on her counter that she has yet to clear off for days. Which happens to remind her of the unwashed dishes in the sink as well.

Needless to say, the state of her apartment at the moment is far more than just ghastly.

Not like Kara can somehow summon up the motivation to do some cleaning.

But she digresses.

Even sleep eludes her constantly, what with the way her thoughts seem to plague her endlessly. And when the sandman finally does manage to claim her, it's never restful.

Because Lena is there, waiting for her in her dreams.

At times, she is smiling. Sometimes, she is laughing. But more often than not, she is there, weeping. Though the one thing that remains ever so constant in Kara's dreams, is that whenever she tries to reach for her, right as the second their fingers touch, Lena would always fade away into nothingness – into raindrops that slip right past her fingertips.

And then she would awake with a start, blearily rousing to the darkness of her apartment as she struggles for her bearings, groping around the side of her bed on sheer instinct.

Albeit, only to come away with nothing.

An empty bed, save for herself in it.

In that moment, she has never felt more alone; the void in her chest has never resonated more with the emptiness of her apartment.

Sniffling quietly to herself, Kara flips onto her back, staring vacantly up at the floors above her. Up on the tenth floor, a family has only begun to start on their dinner. A hearty one by the looks of it. She can hear the ramblings of their youngest son, Tommy, going on about his day – how he had gotten in a goal at soccer practice. It almost brings a smile onto Kara's face just listening to his excitable prattle. _Almost_.

And on the thirteenth floor, there appears to be some kind of festivity going on, with loud music blasting away, its pounding bass rocking the entire apartment complex. A total contrast to the bleak and dreary atmosphere of her apartment, what with the way laughter and chatter seems to fill the air. She can barely make out the faint clinking of beer bottles above the roaring music.

When it suddenly came to Kara.

Scrambling out of her bed, she fumbles her way over to her pantry, ducking down low to rummage at its bottom shelf where she finally retrieves herself a dented-looking old box. She runs an idle finger down its side, picking up on a thin trail of dust as she goes.

She had nearly forgotten about it. Last Christmas, M'gann had incidentally given her a couple bottles of Aldebaran rum as a gift.

 _If needed be_ , she had said to Kara with a good-natured smile and a pat on the back. _We all have our off days, after all._

Not exactly one to drink her problems away, she hadn't really seen much for the use of it then, merely stashing it away into the deepest part of her pantry for a rainy day that will never come.

Or so Kara had thought.

Blowing at the layer of dust that coats the outside of the box, Kara gently pries it open to reveal M'gann's generous gift.

Gingerly, she holds a bottle up against the light, watching as its smoky brown liquid swirls forebodingly within the confines of its bottle.

 _Alcohol..._ She muses silently to herself.

She has watched Lena down glass after glass on nights when the going gets too tough to handle. She has seen her drunk beyond her mind, babbling nonsensical, eyes glazed and cheeks flushed, stumbling around her own apartment with two left feet, and then some.

And even then, Kara still doesn't understand it.

The magic of alcohol helps one to forget, at least that's what they say. But the way it is meant to work – the appeal behind it – Kara just simply can't wrap her head around it.

After all, she has never fallen victim to the allure of alcohol before. Not when her body's superior metabolism is able to flush it right out of her system before it can do her any harm; or impose any of its supposed side-effects on her.

But it's not like she has anything to lose right now.

With her mind set, Kara pops the bottle of Aldebaran rum open with a quick flick of her thumb, then brings the rim of the bottle up close to her nose, taking a short whiff of it.

It honestly smells no different to any of the alcohol she has come across on earth. Maybe a little muskier, but that's pretty much about it.

 _"Deadly to humans, but strong enough for a Kryptonian to kick a punch."_ Kara murmurs, reciting from memory what M'gann had previously told her with a devious wink. Sighing heavily, she raises the bottle. "Bottoms up, I guess."

And the rest is history.

 

* * *

 

Kara awakens the next day to the unexpected draw of her curtains – as with the accompanying burst of sunlight that nearly blinds her through her closed lids.

In any other circumstances, she would have more than welcome the stray bit of sunshine into her apartment. But today, Kara can only let out a resounding groan of frustration; all as she burrows deeper into her makeshift fort of pillows and sheets in her somewhat vain attempt to escape the constant glare in her face.

It also doesn't help that the footsteps treading around her sound more like the deafening blare of a mini drum-set in her ears than anything else, with each thud resonating with the painful throb of her head.

Kara winces, groaning again as she tries to cocoon herself in her sheets in her last strive for some peace, but even that had taken her much effort.

She only realises it belatedly, but her limbs feel like lead and even though she has spent the whole night resting away in her bed, she still feels awfully winded.

"Can you please stop doing that?" Kara cringes, taken slightly off guard by how strident her voice had sounded even to her own ears.

And her head...

 _Rao_ , her **_head_**.

It's like someone had done her head into a titanium wall a million times over before proceeding to drill a kryptonite-infused nail right through her temples.

"Do what?"

Kara moans, curling in on herself.

She feels like death.

"Talk, walk, breathe. I don't know, everything!"

For a brief second, there is a short, momentary lapse of silence where there is nothing but sheer peace, and Kara welcomes it wholly with open arms.

But her reprieve can only last for so long.

"... Are you hungover?"

Kara whimpers, more to herself than anything else. "Is this what it is?"

At least now she knows why most humans often behave the way they do after a night out of drinking; or why even-tempered Lena would more often than not threaten to tear her spine out if Kara had so much as breathed nosily beside her after spending the night drinking her troubles away.

Kara makes for a weak, half-hearted protest when the sheets and blankets begin to jostle around her, as it soon becomes apparent that she's being pried out of her safety net. She cracks a wary eye open at the ever so familiar face of Alex peering down at her.

"I never thought it would ever be possible, but you look terrible," Alex remarks bluntly, clearly appraising the state that Kara is in. Though, the hint of amusement in her voice doesn't go unnoticed by Kara.

"Thanks," she grumbles sourly back in turn, trying to huddle back into the comfort of her blanket when Alex gives what remaining sheets over her a violent tug.

Kara yelps, alarmed, now defencelessly shielding her face with her hands. "Don't do that!"

"You're only going to feel worse if you laze around in bed like this." Alex ripostes, and as an afterthought, she adds quietly, "I would know."

Kara whines and groans, but doesn't put up much of a fight as she simply allows her older adoptive sister to haul her up into an upright sitting position, albeit with some difficulty.

"Drink up," she says, after gently urging a warm tall glass of water into Kara's hands. "You'll feel better."

Eying the glass, then Alex sceptically, Kara takes a small tentative sip from it, and it is only then does she realise how parched she actually is.

"I only dropped by, since according to Winn, you haven't been answering your texts or calls, nor have you signed in at the DEO for two days straight," Alex says, giving Kara a hard look, which softens a little when she finally relents in her whole endeavour to give Kara the cold shoulder.

Ever so affectionately, she pushes Kara's hair out of her face as she watches her nurse at the glass of water with short, tiny sips. "J'onn was this close to listing you as AWOL."

"I'm sorry," Kara murmurs, dropping her gaze shamefully. She tries to ignore the stab of guilt, along with the pounding of her head that has thankfully eased into a dull throb.

"Is all you've been saying lately," Alex sighs, taking the now empty glass from Kara as she makes haste for the kitchen, albeit stopping briefly by the foot of Kara's bed, glancing down at something that has inadvertently caught her eye.

Kara traces after the line of her gaze, makes note of the curiosity behind it. "Aldebaran rum," she supplies, frowning slightly at the empty bottles rolling off of her floorboards, cringing as the memories from the night before floods her in waves. "It's alcohol for aliens, also very lethal to humans."

Even now, she can still feel the burn of alcohol slithering down her throat, the way it eases its way into her stomach, warming her up from inside out. It's a nice, almost balmy feeling, albeit quite fleeting as it is. Like sitting by the crackling hearth in the middle of a frigid winter, feeling all warm and toasty despite the crazy weather outside.

A momentary respite where everything almost feels alright again.

She can sort of understand the appeal behind it now.

"Is this all because of..." Alex trails off awkwardly, gesturing to the appalling state of Kara's apartment in its entirety.

"We broke it off," answers Kara quietly, the tones of sadness weighing heavily on her voice – as with her heart.

"Oh," Alex says, simply.

She takes a step back, almost reflexively, as she surveys Kara's apartment contemplatively for a moment. When she finally returns her gaze back onto Kara, her eyes are bridled with a certain understanding – and the tiniest glint of guilt.

"You really do love her, don't you?"

Kara bows her head and tightens her fingers into fists, pursing her lips at the ever so familiar prick of tears searing at the corners of her eyes.

But before her lips can even part to form words, the loud buzzing of her phone had cut her off, vibrating noisily by her bedside.

"It's Clark," she provides, frowning slightly at the caller ID flashing up on her phone.

Knowing Kal, it can usually go either way with his calls.

She throws a quick look at Alex, who merely nods at her to answer her cell.

"Hello?"

_'Kara, we have a problem.'_

Immediately, Kara stiffens, whatever grogginess that is left from sleep and her hangover dissipates almost instantly. "What's wrong?"

 _'It's hard to explain. It'd be easier if you see it for yourself.'_ Comes Kal's harried response through the earpiece, which only causes Kara to worry even more.

"Where to?" She asks, clutching at her phone with one hand while reaching for her suit with the other.

_'The Fortress of Solitude.'_

 

* * *

 

Kara stands, flabbergasted at the sight that greets her the very instant she reaches the familiar grounds of the arctic wasteland her cousin has so fondly claimed as their 'secret sanctuary. Where she had expected to see the tall pristine towers of the Fortress of Solitude, she had seen rubble and debris instead. As she nears the wreckage, Kal is immediately there to greet her with a grim look.

"Kara," he nods, eyes dark and sombre.

She barely even registers his greeting, too caught up in taking stock of the damage before her, unable to tear her eyes away from the crumbling façade of the Fortress of Solitude before her.

"What in the world?" Kara breathes.

"You haven't seen the worse of it yet," mutters Kal with a dismal look in his eye, which is no surprise there. Considering how the Fortress of Solitude is almost something like a baby to him, having built it from the ground up and all. To see it ruined, torn down to rubble like this, must have stung like a certain heartbreak for him.

Without another word, he leads Kara through the once-entrance of the grand fortress that looks as if it had been blown up – quite brutally, if Kara is to say.

The inside, as Kal has mentioned, is far worse for wear with its flooring caving in and charred blank, pillars splintered and barely standing to hold the entire fortress up. Not to mention the little trinkets and trophies that Kal has collected through the years – destroyed and smashed into smithereens.

Stowed away in a place far from civilisation, with its path too dangerous and too treacherous for any man to follow, its weather too frigid and far too unforgiving for any man to weather on – this is definitely no work of an ordinary man.

"Something had broken in," surmises Kara, fingering the scorched remains of the Kelex that once resided in the fortress.

Kal breathes a pained sigh, resting a hand up against the broken statue of his mother's likeness. "I haven't been here in months."

"Neither have I." Kara frowns, idly sifting through the wreckage, hoping that a clue would somehow pop up amongst the debris to shed light on their current situation. "It could have been any time during that period."

"But how? Only Kryptonians can enter the fortress." Kal grits, balling his hands into angry fists as he stands over the shattered ruins of his Kryptonian family.

And that's when Kara finds it.

A tinge of red, dyed across the snowy white flooring of the fortress, trailing along the periphery of the barely functioning computer database.

"Cadmus," she whispers, eyes narrowing with the sudden harrowing realisation.

Kal turns over to her sharply, eyes narrowing. "What?"

She soughs in a deep breath, steeling herself – and her heart.

"Awhile back ago, I was captured by Cadmus." She swallows, blocking out the painful memories that still haunt her even to date. "They have my DNA."

She watches as the various emotions flit across her cousin's striking visage, eyes swirling in different hues of blue, corresponding to each emotion. Horror, shock and finally – regret.

"You didn't tell me that," Kal says, softly, shoulders slumping under the gravity of Kara's admission. His brows are tight with worry, blue eyes a well of sadness – of hurt – that reflects back at Kara in a way that overwhelms her, so much so that she can't help but look away.

"You had a lot going on then. I think you were busy chasing a story. I just didn't want to pile it on you." Kara says, shrugging dismissively, but the expression on Kal's face looks all the more disheartened.

"Kara..."

It's the same pitying look she has seen one too many times over the course of the past couple of days, and honestly? She's sick of it.

Of people looking at her as if she's spun glass, fragile and hurt – like she's damaged goods.

Seeing it on Snapper is one thing, but to see it on her cousin.

On Kal?

She doesn't think she can handle it.

"We'll talk later, okay?" She says, busying herself with the brushing off the debris on the surprisingly still-functional control panel of the fortress' database. "For now, let's just focus on getting to the bottom of this."

Grudgingly, Kal makes a small noise of assent, sidling up beside Kara by the control panel, watching as her fingers attempt to work its magic to start the machine back up once more.

And it does, thankfully, with a loud whir and a beep.

As it flickers on, strings of sentences and paragraph begin to dart across the large, albeit cracked screen before them, all of which encapsulated by its title written at the top of it all in tall, foreboding letters.

" _Project Medusa_..." Kara reads aloud with knitted brows, and as her eyes begin to skim through the content that follows after, her stomach only sinks.

Dropping further and further into the abyss.

 

* * *

 

"The Medusa virus." Kal-El begins grimly, eyes dark and bleak as he addresses the masses at the DEO, shoulders squared and jaw set firmly. "A biological weapon used to exterminate all alien species – with the exception of Kryptonians."

Flashing beside him, is the projection of the exact piece of information they had feasted their eyes upon back at the fortress. Having read it all – fine prints and everything – Kara can only hang her head in silence, her eyes downcast and laden with a certain shame behind it all.

Inwardly, she wonders if anyone else has understood the underlying implications of what the Medusa virus truly is – a selfish monstrosity created by her family.

But even if anyone did, it certainly didn't show.

 _That's the DEO's renowned professionalism for you_ , thinks Kara mirthlessly, watching the blank, stoic faces of men and women alike, listening to her cousin's presentation with rapt attention.

"We have strong evidence that suggests that the Luthors may have gotten their hands on the blueprints of the Medusa virus and are more than likely on track to recreate it."

Kal frowns, pursing his lips as he clenches at his jaw – the only indication of his distress.

"Or worse yet, improve upon it. Which would certainly explain all of the alien-trafficking and experimentation thus far."

That manages to elicit a couple frowns amongst the stony-faced agents; and a deep twinge in Kara's chest. Like a sharp lance to her heart.

The topic of alien trafficking is still a rather sore subject for her. A slow healing wound it is, albeit one that Kara doesn't think will ever close up completely Certain horrors just simply can't be forgotten. Just like how the image of a masked Lena working over a hapless alien, scalpel in hand, will forever be burnt into her memory. A ghost that will linger on forever, pushed and forced into the closet with the rest of the other skeletons to be buried.

Kara pretty much tunes out after that, her heart no longer in the ongoing briefing, albeit still keeping half an ear out on the sound of Kal's voice droning away in the background as she broods on over her own personal matters.

That is, until she catches the tail-end of her cousin's rundown on the Medusa virus.

"... But all of that would be for nothing, if they do not possess the dispersant agent for the virus."

Immediately, her ears perk up, her back straightening at attention as she sits on the edge of her seat.

"Without the dispersant agent, they would not be able to disseminate the virus across the city. Without the dispersant agent, Medusa is as good as nothing. Therefore, right now, our main priority should be to secure that dispersant agent before any of the Luthors do."

_Isotope 454._

The missing piece to the puzzle.

It all suddenly clicks into place.

It's extremely volatile nature. Of how its function and uses are still relatively unknown.

The way its molecular structure seems all so very familiar; so close to home like Kara has seen it before.

Which she has – many, many moons ago on a densely populated Krypton.

The reason why the Luthors are so dead-set on creating it.

She can still vividly recall the patronising voice of Lillian Luthor drifting through Lena's apartment one stray morning.

 

* * *

 

_'Now that the pleasantries are out of the way.' Lillian Luthor shifts in her seat, straightening at her spine and smoothening at her top in a way that Kara knows mean business._

_'How is the progress of isotope 454 going?'_

 

* * *

 

The way she and Lena had gone back and forth over the deadline for the isotope, as if pressed for time for its construct.

It is all suddenly coming together.

Isotope 454 ** _is_** the dispersant agent.

And the only reason why the Luthors haven't really gotten around to unleash evil onto Metropolis and National City yet, is probably all because of...

 

* * *

 

_'Yes, and here's the catch. It is produced exclusively by LCorp, and LCorp only.'_

_Kara stiffens sharply, lips thinning into a frown, her thoughts turning to that of a single person._

 

* * *

 

Lena.

Her heart catches in her throat at that realisation.

The reason why she's been so stressed out lately, constantly going off about how she's 'running out of time'.

How long has she been stalling, Kara wonders, her heartbreaking ever so slightly.

* * *

 

_'Lena?'_

_Her pacing continues, albeit at a more frantic pace, matching the erratic rhythm of her heart._

_'Is this about isotope 454?'_

_'It's not just about that damned isotope. It's about everything!' Lena snaps, eyes wild and deeply troubled._

 

* * *

How long has she been shouldering this burden alone?

A part of Kara did suspect she was hiding something during the time they were together – as she did with all of her family's misdeeds and secrets – but nothing of that magnitude. Through their comings and goings, she had learnt that when it came to any Luthor dealings, it was just best not to pry.

After all, what you don't know, can't hurt you.

But maybe in retrospect, maybe she should have.

To think that all this time, Kara didn't know.

She had seen Lena drink, emptying bottle after bottle of whiskey and wine. Had seen her down and depressed, slumped against the lounge, weeping quietly to herself when she had thought no one was looking.

Kara had known of it. But didn't think any better to ask for the whys and the hows – the reasons why Lena do what she does – merely basing it all on assumptions and speculations.

She's been around her for so long, yet she didn't know of the stress, the burden, and the immense pressure; all that has been riding upon Lena's narrow shoulders all this time, slowly crushing her.

She didn't know a thing.

Not first with her parents.

And certainly not with Lena.

She didn't know anything.

No longer able to fight down the tears from springing to her eyes, Kara silently excuses herself from the DEO's meeting room, stealing away without anyone's notice.

Or so she thinks, when she completely misses the silent looks exchanged between her cousin and her adoptive sister, and the imperceptible nod in her direction that follows.

 

* * *

 

"Hey,"

With a jerk, Kara raises her head from her hands, furiously scrubbing at her tear-blotched cheeks as she strives to rearrange her countenance to make herself look at least presentable, all in the span of a split second.

Though, apparently not all that fast enough for her cousin, who has no doubt caught the entire spectacle – if the rueful smile on his face is anything to go by.

And there, he stands before her, silhouetted by the glow of the sun; tall and strong with his cape billowing behind him and the symbol of their house gleaming proudly on his chest.

A symbol of hope, they all say.

But honestly?

Kara doesn't know anymore.

She drops her gaze with a sigh and sniffle, surreptitiously wiping at her nose. "Hey," she intones back unenthusiastically.

"Where's the fire?" Kal starts, tone light and conversational as he gingerly sits himself beside Kara on the stone bench, joining her out on the garden terrace of the DEO. "You left in quite a hurry."

"Just needed some air," answers Kara tersely, staring at the spot between her toes.

"What's wrong?

Kara clenches her eyes shut, and sighs heavily.

_There it is._

For a second, she thinks to brush him and his worries off as she normally would. But the thought of plastering on another false smile and to lie right through her teeth suddenly makes her feel sick – and so very weary. Suffering quietly by herself for the past couple of days, she thinks her heart has finally reached its breaking point.

"Everything," she breathes, a quiet a shuddering breath, and slouches forward. "I don't even know what to believe in anymore." She whispers, pressing the heel of palms against her eyes.

She might be an all-powerful Kryptonian. Invincible, as some would even say. But not all part of her is made out of cold impenetrable steel.

Because her heart sure isn't.

"Now, where is this all coming from?" Kal questions softly.

Ever so gently, he sets a comforting hand down onto her shoulders, squeezing her so.

Kara shakes her head.

"The Medusa virus. I had no idea that my Dad would actually..." She cuts herself off with a shiver and a sniffle, swallowing down the bitter bile building at the back of her throat. "Had it all gone to plan, it would have meant for a certain genocide – preventive measures against invaders to Krypton or not."

She grits at her teeth and balls at her hands, hot tears spilling out from the corners of her eyes as she tears her face away from her hands to stare at her cousin tearfully – fiercely.

"At the end of it all, how is he any different from the Luthors? Him and Mum." She spits vehemently, blue eyes teeming in the dark-grey hues of shame and remorse. "How are **_we_** any different? What is the truth? Which is the lie? What is good and what is evil? I don't know anymore!"

Her exclamation almost seems to echo on endlessly through the garden terrace, filling the accompanying silence with all sorts of dark thoughts and bitterness.

Maybe her father hadn't been all that righteous and ethical as she had thought him to be, but there's still no denying that the birth of the Medusa virus was sprouted from the need of an infallible weapon; from a fear that the Kryptonians would be one day bested and subsequently oppressed by some superior life-form in an unknown future.

That fear. The same callousness towards bloodshed.

It all just strikes a little too close to home for Kara.

Because it's right there, all playing out before her very eyes on Earth.

At the end of the day, her family's intentions were the same as the Luthors.

To selfishly protect their kind from others – without mercy, without tact.

Then where does this all put Kara at?

Where does this put Lena at?

How are they any different from each other?

What the hell does she know?

She doesn't know anything anymore.

"Then believe in yourself."

Kara blinks, lips parting with a stilted breath that catches painfully in her throat.

Kal smiles down at her kindly, blue eyes crinkling at its corners, softening his gaze. "Your parents might have had made some unsound decisions in the past, but that's all there is to it – the past." He says, reaching down to thumb away at a fallen tear that has made its way down Kara's cheek. "I suppose it is a little scary, knowing that we could have easily ended up the way the Luthors did. But this is where we are different."

He lays a hand atop his chest.

"Our family crest?"

He shakes his head, blue eyes dancing under the rays of the sun. "Our heart," he says, smiling softly at Kara. "Don't you see? We chose different. And that is exactly what sets us apart from the Luthors."

"But what if I chose wrong?" Kara sniffs, wide-eyed and teary face.

Kal laughs, flicking at her forehead good-naturedly, and Kara finds herself enamoured by the light in his eyes. "If you shoot true, then you will never miss." He says, tucking an errant strand of hair behind Kara's ear fondly. "Sometimes, even the sun can lose its way in the shadow it casts. It only keeps on burning, because it stayed true to itself."

When he smiles down at Kara then, ever so gentle and patient, for the first time in the entire week she had spent wallowing and moping about in her dark apartment, the fog over her eyes have finally lifted; and the light at the end of the tunnel has never been more clear.

"If there's ever a moment in time where you find yourself losing sight on what truly matters, then just believe in yourself. You will never go wrong."

Kara smiles, albeit bashfully wiping away at her tear-stained cheeks, taking in a steadying breath. "When was it that you have become the older cousin between the two of us?"

Kal pauses, almost seeming to mull it over contemplatively, before breaking into a blinding grin, reaching over to roughly tousle at her hair.

"Since you needed some pampering like that."

Kara snorts, swatting her cousin off with a playful thump on his shoulder, for once not holding back any punches as she earns herself a wince. She laughs, hopping to her feet, grinning broadly.

"Thanks, I needed that." She glances down at her hand briefly, clenching at it with a determined glint in her eyes. "I know what I need to do now."

Ignoring the quizzical look Kal sends her, she immediately makes haste for the nearest exit, entering one of the many similar-looking hallways of the DEO as she strides on quickly, footsteps resonating behind her with purpose.

Slipping furtively into an unused research room, Kara quickly closes the door behind her, then props her back up against said-door, taking a few calming breaths before fishing out her phone.

_She is going to call her._

She swallows, willing her hands to not tremble when she ends up hovering over Lena's number in her contacts list.

She is going to call her.

She is going to get her to spill whatever plans she has for isotope 454 – have her surrender it peacefully to the DEO. And this time, she is going to open up to Kara whether she likes it or not.

No more running away. No more secrets.

They're going to work through this together.

No matter what.

"Shoot true, and you will never miss," Kara recites quietly, more to herself than anything else.

With a final exhale, she presses the call button on her phone with shaky fingers and her heart in her throat as she awaits for Lena to pick up.

Though, it's not after the third to fourth ring that Kara finds herself getting panicky, the butterflies worming its way into her stomach making her feel all nauseous and queasy.

 _She usually picks up after the second ring_ , she worries.

What if she doesn't want to speak to her?

Then what?

But before Kara can ponder on that any longer, the line finally engages, and she immediately stumbles over her tongue for a greeting.

"H-Hey–"

However, instead of Lena's velvety voice coming through the end of the other line, Kara hears another, albeit one that is just as familiar.

_'Miss Danvers,'_

Kara stiffens with a sharp stilted breath, the deep characteristic timbre of Lex Luthor's voice wafting through her ears like the beginning of a funeral dirge.

_'Or would you have preferred – Miss Kara Zor-El?'_

At that, Kara blanches, all the colour draining away from her face as her stomach drops and it takes literally everything in her being to not drop her phone right there and then.

If she hadn't known what fear was, she did now.

 _'I hope you've been well.'_ Lex continues on smoothly – airily – without missing a beat, sounding none too concerned despite his initial address; as if he had known all this time.

"Where's Lena?" Kara questions, hoarsely. Her throat feeling unusually dry and parched as she swallows down at the icy block of terror welling up in her throat.

She reaches to steady the hand clutching at her phone, taking in a slow, imperceptible breath to calm herself.

_'Oh, I'm afraid my baby sister is a little... say, **tied up** at the moment.' _

Eyes flashing, Kara immediately starts up, like Lex had struck a match, lighting the fuse inside of Kara.

"I swear to _Rao_ , if you even so much as hurt her, I will–"

_'You will maim me with your super strength? Burn me to a crisp with your heat vision?'_

Lex interjects her with a laugh – loud and mocking. She can almost hear the cruel twist of his lips, curving into that ever so characteristic sneer of his.

_'Oh, Supergirl, are you forgetting that you're in no position to be threatening me right now?'_

The grip she has on her phone tightens as she catches the unmistakable crack of her phone case in her hand. "Lex!" She growls.

He chuckles in turn, clearly finding humour and amusement in Kara's distress, sounding almost thoroughly thrilled.

 _'If you really do care about my sister like you allegedly claim to do, then you will show up at the following coordinates that will be sent to you shortly after this call.'_ He drawls languidly. ' _And you will come alone. At sundown.'_

Kara grits at her teeth, worrying her free hand into a tight fist. The sting of her nails biting into her palm serves to ground her, at least enough to clear her head from the fear that threatens to muddle her mind as it races a hundred miles an hour for ideas – ways to get out of this mess unscathed.

But all that thinking immediately goes flying out of the window as soon as Lex' silky baritone of a voice decides to add as an afterthought:

 _'Oh, and if you happen to choose not to follow these set of instructions given, or even so much as deviate from it...'_ He pauses pointedly, almost seems to mull it over amusedly before letting out a sinister laugh that chills Kara right down to the bone.

_'Well, I hope the last memory you have of my sister is a happy one. I look forward to seeing you soon, **Miss Zor-El**.'_

 

* * *

 

Down by the research labs at LCorp, Lena Luthor rushes as quickly as she possibly can in heels, knowing full well that if she were back in college, her professors would be frowning at the speed she's going – and in unenclosed footwear at that too – in the lab. Though, her excuse for her heels is that her visit to the labs is one that is completely unplanned, and therefore beyond her.

But trivialities aside, a quick cursory glance down at her watch shows that she is indeed running pretty late.

Shrugging off her lab coat, Lena swiftly tugs her hair out of the messy bun she has twisted it in whilst in the lab, giving it a quick run through as she attempts to fix her appearance by the nearby glass panel.

She stares hard at her reflection for a moment, tentatively reaching for the bags under her eyes that even her makeup can't hide, and sighs deeply, trying to dull out the heaviness in her chest that hasn't ebbed the second she had left Kara's apartment a week or so ago.

The woman in the glass panel only frowns back at her.

_Keep it together, Lena._

And she wills – practically forces – the corners of her lips to curl.

_Nothing a smile can't hide._

And with a steadying breath, she bustles through the doors into the holding area of her R&D lab, her eyes landing onto the tall, lean form of her older brother sitting in corner of the room.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, there was a little issue with the development of one of our new tech." She rushes out breathily, offering a small sheepish smile in apology.

"Psh, it's no problem." Lex waves her off dismissively, his face splitting into a large affable grin as he stands to take Lena in into his infamous bear hug of a greeting.

One that she quickly wiggles free from with a playful punch and a laugh.

"So are you finally going to show me around the city or what?"

"Yep, but before that," Lena glances pointedly at her watch. "Lunch?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Lex grins, and as Lena shoulders on her purse and is right about to take off ahead of him, he calls out to her, "Wait, Lena, aren't you forgetting something?"

She stops short then, patting along her sides and the pockets of her blazer, before sifting through her purse when she glances up to see her brother wiggling a familiar device in front of her face.

"My phone," she says, nearly slapping herself on the forehead. She must have left it on the table, along with the rest of her stuff in the holding room. "All this running about is starting to make me forgetful. Thanks, Lex."

Lex only smiles, shrugging airily.

"Anytime."

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: wow-wee was that a long one lol. and it being long only means that it's riddled with mistakes, so i apologise for that. i was honestly debating with myself if i should have split this chapter into two. but like ehhh, we're way too close to the end at this point, and i would hate to draw it out any longer. speaking of the end... we're finally down to the last chapter, my friends! :') ah, the anticipation. the final showdown. i hope you guys are just as excited as i am. oh, and uh i know i haven't really been replying to the comments for the past couple of chapters, (reason being that i honestly cant trust myself to withhold any spoilers when replying to them at this stage, especiially now that we're so close to the finish line). but do know that i read every single one of them, and they all mean so much to me, i'm just so grateful for all of them. 
> 
> but without ado, i shan't drag this on any longer. i'll see you guys soon. till then!


	15. fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: for the best experience, put on your most epic boss battle theme for the following super-luthor confrontation.

When it comes to Lena's safety – or anything to do with Lena, really – Kara finds herself taking no risks at all. Even if it means going against what her very instincts tell her, despite the blaring of sirens and alarms, the raising of red flags flying in the wind, practically screaming at her that it's a trap. Yes, despite it all, she still decides to follow the clear set of instructions Lex Luthor has left for her, right down to the tee.

Even when she had passed Alex by down in the DEO hallways in her panic and haste, she had said nothing; apart from a quick nod in greeting and mustering on a smile she can only hope hadn't seemed too forced. And even when Kal had caught her, just seconds before he had taken off for Metropolis, a soft smile on his face and a general enquiry on his lips if everything will be alright on her end of things, Kara had still said nothing.

So like the fool that she is, she had turned up to Lex' intended location at sundown, unarmed and very alone.

Some agents, Winn and Alex in particular, would later ask her why she did it. And she would only smile, delicately folding her hand atop her beating heart.

"For love," she would whisper.

And for love, she will gladly deliver herself down to Death's doorstep on a silver platter with a gift bow to match.

"Lex, show yourself!" She calls out into the seemingly abandoned dilapidated cargo port, her footsteps bouncing off the cold hard concrete, sounding every bit like a death march to her ears.

Her narrowed eyes try to scan past the many containers of cargo littered across the port for signs of human life, only to come up with nothing. Whether or not they have been intentionally lined with lead, Kara does not know.

But she does know Lex, and she definitely wouldn't put it past him to do such a thing. After all, this cargo port is essentially his personal playground – his chess set. And everything here is his pawn – and Kara is deliberately playing into it.

"I'm here!" Her voice rings out into a foreboding echo that quickly lapses into a dead silence.

Kara fights down on the urge to shudder.

The air is surprisingly still for a late October evening, with no passing breeze in sight, and no clouds drifting through the vast darkness of the skies above. Just this unnerving stillness that vaguely feel as if the world has stopped spinning on its axis for a brief moment, and everything is suspended in this strange time-space continuum – unmoving and frozen.

She tiptoes around a bend, ears perked, shoulders tensed and muscles pulled taut at the ready to launch herself at any physical threat.

But once again, she comes up empty.

She lets out a quiet huff of frustration, gritting at her teeth.

Just as Kara is about to take to the skies for a more productive search for the elusive Luthor up in the air, something – or someone – comes barrelling straight into her, slamming her into one of the nearby containers and efficiently knocking the wind right out of her lungs.

"Well, well... Miss Danvers,"

The characteristic purr of Lex Luthor's deep baritone of a voice wafts through her ears, barely even registering as she has hardly got time to catch her breath before the next bout of punches come raining down onto her.

"I really didn't expect you to show up. And alone too."

Behind her, the metal of the container that her back is pressed up against, begins to warp, caving in under the pressure and force of Cyborg Superman's relentless assault.

When it finally gives way with a deafening creak.

Losing her footing, Kara doesn't even get a chance for a block when the steel hammered fist of Cyborg Superman comes reaching in, grabbing her roughly by the scruff as he flings her down onto the concrete by Lex' feet, pinning her still with his heel crushing against the side of her cranium.

"My sister really does mean something to you after all. Colour me surprise."

Spitting out the debris of the cracked concrete beneath her, she musters a glance up at the Luthor mastermind, catching the cruel twist of a sneer on his lips.

"Where is she?" Kara questions, her voice surprisingly even and calm despite her current predicament. Cyborg Superman presses down harder on her, almost in direct response to her defiance, denting the concrete further, and she fights back on a wince, tasting the gravel on her tongue.

"I'm afraid she's not here."

Gritting at her teeth, she raises her head against the mounting pressure digging into her skull, summoning a strength that even surprises herself, as slowly, but surely, she rises from the cold and cracked concrete. With a punishing grip around Cyborg Superman's ankle, she hurls him aside with a force so great, it sends him flying, crashing loudly into a pile of containers.

"I said," she all but growls, dusting the rubble and debris off of herself, standing unscathed from Cyborg Superman's onslaught. "Where is she?"

She levels Lex a glare; one that is so intense and so filled with rage that if looks could kill, Lex would have been dead ten times over now.

But the Luthor merely meets her stare head-on, looking none too concerned. Somehow, he looks even more amused, as if tickled by Kara's display of ire – in a way like he's watching a puppy throwing a temper tantrum – and it only serves to enrage her further.

"Where do you think?" He lilts, goadingly.

Kara snarls, hands balling into fists as she forges on heatedly towards the Luthor, blue eyes blazing, scorching white with the burn of her heat vision, just barely searing the back of her retinas threateningly. "Tell me!" She roars.

Lex smirks, leering. "Make me," he snarks.

Seeing red, Kara makes to charge in towards him, but before she can even put a step forward, she is once again swept off her feet by a bruising tackle that takes her completely off guard. Her back strikes the rusted metal of the cargo container hard, and despite her sturdy Kryptonian physiology; she still lets out a choked gasp in grimace.

Without a moment to waste, Cyborg Superman is there with his fist raised, ready to plummet it down into her face, which she thankfully catches in the nick of time. His other fist comes up, and this time Kara is more than ready, holding her stance firm as she catches his second blow with a firm but equally punishing grip.

Channelling her anger and frustration out into the open, her eyes flare brightly with the focussed ray of her heat vision; which is, unfortunately, pitted evenly against Cyborg Superman's bolt of blue energy summoned from his single mechanical eye.

For a brief moment, they remain stuck in a complete stalemate, with no one willing to yield, fists locked against palms, unbudging and static, their respective heat vision burning into one another, unrelenting and steadfast. It soon becomes clear that this is no longer a contest of strength – but a test of their endurance.

Two minutes into their stand-off with no apparent end in sight, it is right about then does Kara hear the imperceptible mechanical whizz of something overhead, followed by an accompanying tell-tale hiss that strikes a certain fear into her heart.

She had felt it first more than she could see it – the green mist of Kryptonite slowly engulfing her, poisoning her slowly. Like fire lighting through her veins, it pulses through her, throbbing with every forceful beat of her heart as her knees start to give way, folding in on itself, followed closely by the rest of her limbs.

She almost didn't feel the right hook that connects against her jaw, too overcome by the pain that wrecks her entire being. But unlike any of the other blows from before, this time, Kara bleeds.

A strike to her chest, and she heaves, hearing a distinct crack from something within her.

Hot tears spring unbidden to her eyes and it's taking literally every single ounce of her willpower to not curl up into a tight ball right there and then while she struggles to hold her ground. It's as though her blood has turned to acid, intent on destroying her from the inside out, and there's nothing she can do but succumb to the pain.

She can't even find it in herself to put up a fight when Cyborg Superman thrusts out towards her, grabbing a fistful of her hair as he roughly hauls her over to Lex Luthor, who looks more than pleased, a menacing smile curving at his lips.

He draws in with deliberate slowness, tucking a blood-matted lock of gold hair behind her ear. "Kneel, I want you to beg for mercy," he says.

She manages a glower at him, despite the sorry state of her bruised left eye, which she knows must be swelling up given her difficulty in keeping it open.

"Never," she spits, a mouthful of blood hurtling at the Luthor's maddening sneering face out of sheer spite and defiance.

A flicker of fury rages through his green eyes as he pointedly wipes Kara's spittle off his face before kneeing her into submission, all while as Cyborg Superman holds her steady, his unrelenting grip shifting from her hair to her arms, pinning them to her back.

Kara falls over to her knees with a hack and a cough.

"So hasty," Lex drawls, clicking his tongue chidingly. He runs a goading finger down the length of her jaw, thumbing at the line of blood trickling off her split bottom lip, almost seeming to positively glow at the sight of it. "So impulsive." His forest green eyes gleam as they pin Kara down with a crazed manic look. "Just like your dear old cousin."

"Where is..." Kara chokes, forging through with the excruciating pain that is shooting through her ribs, the back of her head, her spine – everywhere. She forcefully jerks away from Lex' touch with what little strength she has left in her, demanding, albeit weakly. "Where is Lena?"

"She's safe," he laughs – laughter booming and mocking.

Ever so languidly, he lowers himself to Kara's level, the twisted sneer ever present on his face. He leans in again, lips barely brushing against the shell of Kara's ear and it takes quite about literally everything in Kara to not flinch away from him.

"Safe away from you." He whispers.

And with a snap of his fingers, Cyborg Superman is there to rough her up some more, holding no punches back as he pummels into her. Once, twice, maybe thrice – until Lex signals him off with yet another snap.

Kara wheezes, tasting nothing but the metallic taste of her blood on her tongue. Her vision is swimming in and out of focus, black spots dancing along her the corner of her eyes, so fast it feels like the world is spinning around her. She barely even manages to get up to her knees when Cyborg Superman scruffs her by the collar, dumping her unceremoniously to kneel before Lex' feet once more.

"I knew, you know." Lex begins, footsteps circling around Kara contemplatively, matching the rhythmic throb of her head. "Right from the very beginning. Back when we were introduced at the Gala."

He stops just barely a step in front of her.

"Glasses, hair slicked back into a bun and a slouch? It was a good disguise, don't get me wrong. I would have been fooled along with everyone else too."

Lex reaches down for her, cupping at her chin, forcing her to meet his piercing green gaze. He regards her quietly for a moment, and with a gentleness so unlike him – **_the_** Lex Luthor – he grazes a thumb across the high arch of Kara's cheek, delicately tracing the cut just below her eye lid.

"Shame it was actually your eyes that gave you away. You have the exact same pair as him," he hums, sounding almost forlorn just then.

But the regret in his eyes winks out soon enough, replaced by this deep, unending hate that burns and seethes like a raging tempest, out to demolish and scorch the earth to the very ash it was born from. It warps his handsome face into a twisted snarl, lips pulling back over his teeth. Kara, in all of her time she had spent facing off against him, has never seen Lex quite as enraged as so before.

And the magnitude of his ire – his hate – is enough to light a spark of fear in her heart despite herself.

"Clark. Kent."

With a brutal blow to Kara's temple, she finally blacks out, knocked out cold for good.

 

* * *

 

Kara awakens shortly with a gasp and a start, her thoughts immediately jumpinh to the one thing that truly matters.

"Lena!" She manages a half-hearted exclamation through a ribs-rattling wheeze, only to curl away into a ball at the startling pain that wrecks through her entire being.

To her side, the sleek voice of Lex Luthor drawls. "Good, you're awake."

Suddenly remembering herself, Kara struggles to launch towards him, only to find that she can't quite do so with her hands and legs bound down by cuffs.

Kryptonite-laden cuffs; given the sting along her ankles and wrists that only seems to radiate throughout her body in teems and waves, zapping off all of her strength as it serves to weaken her further.

"Wh-what's going on?" She croaks, unable to help the tinge of fear from trickling into her voice as she takes stock of her seemingly new environment.

From the looks of the containers around her, and the smell of the sea in the air, there is no doubt that she is still at the abandoned port from earlier. Though, probably at a different section of it now. She cranes her neck, inching herself into a slightly more comfortable position where her face is not pressed solidly against the cold concrete, when her heart jumps, catching in her throat.

Because right there, overlooking the sea and the city's skyline, is a giant missile launcher, aimed and positioned at the ready. She can't believe she had missed it completely, considering its bulky proportions. And working beside it is, of course, none other than the infamous Lex Luthor; who is going at the computer before him with a single-minded focus that reminds Kara an awful lot like a robot.

 _Almost just like Lena_ , she catches herself thinking before she can even cease that train of thought.

Despite their differences, Lex is still indubitably Lena's brother.

She can definitely see the resemblance between them. In the way he works, his posture, that unwavering concentration, the way his fingers fly across the keyboard in a relentless beat without the slightest pause for thought or hesitation.

But he stops abruptly then, fingers stilling in their fluid movements to peer over his shoulder at Kara with a raised brow. "Wouldn't you want to know?" He hums, a slow, almost teasing smile drawing across his face.

At being met with a stony silence from Kara, he only sighs affectedly, pushing out of his swivel chair. "Fine, I'll bite."

Ever so languidly, he saunters over to the missile launcher, folding his hands behind his back as he stares out across the expanse of the ocean, marvelling at the city lights sparkling from a distance. A small, albeit serene smile curves at his lips.

"What will go on in the next hour or so, is that I'll be deploying the Medusa Virus all across National City and you'll be there to watch every single second of it."

At that, Kara starts, desperately fighting against her restraints. "No, I won't let you!"

Watching her squirm for a good minute or two, Lex throws his head back in laughter, green eyes sparkling and alight with amusement. "I honestly like to see you try."

Humming a cheery tune to himself, he ambles his way over to Kara, that mirthful smile of his never once leaving his face as Kara watches his approach with wary eyes.

As he stands, looming over her, his tall frame silhouetted by the blinding spotlight overhead, casting a long foreboding shadow across her, it is then does Kara realise, albeit belatedly, that Cyborg Superman is nowhere in sight.

(And a small part of her rejoices at that fact.)

"Shall I let you in on a secret, Miss Danvers?" He lilts, grinning broadly.

Kara's responding answer is merely a frown, and a defiant glower. But from the way Lex' smile seem to widen at that, it's all the response he needs to carry on blithely.

"You know, I've been mulling over this for a very long time now. What is the best way to hurt a Kryptonian? What is the one thing you can't ever do without?"

He pauses, cocking his head over to Kara expectantly.

"I'll give you a hint. It starts with the letter 'F'. And no, it's not 'friends'."

She glares up at him fiercely, bristling quietly under the intensity of his gaze as he draws in towards her. The closer he gets, the more twisted his smile becomes, the shadows on his face warping his features, further accentuating the wild glint in his eyes.

"El-Mayarah," he breathes. "Stronger together. You Kryptonians value family more than anything else. And by losing you, his only true kin, and seeing your head served on a silver platter."

He grazes the skin along the angle of Kara's jaw with his thumb, gently tilting her chin, forcing her to meet the unbridled mania dancing in his forest green orbs.

"Now, that will probably hit Kal-El where it hurts the most, don't you think?"

"You're a monster!" Kara hisses, appalled, as she wrenches herself from Lex' off-putting touch.

He draws away with a sardonic laugh, eyes filled with contempt.

"Better a monster, than an arrogant god," he sneers derisively.

"Lex,"

At the sound of that all too familiar voice – the very voice Kara has been yearning to hear all week –, her breath hitches painfully in her throat, her heart twinging in her chest, filling her ears with the constant pound of its all-consuming beat.

Suddenly the whole world comes to an absolute standstill.

"Ah, Lena, how nice of you to join us. I see you've gotten my message about speeding things up a little."

Ever so slowly, carefully, Kara turns to look over her side.

And there she is.

Lena.

She looks exactly like how Kara has remembered her to be, with her loose dark tresses falling over her shoulders, framing her features – her strong jaw and her high cheekbones. However, the look in her eyes tells a completely different story, painting a shade of frigid green – inscrutable and dark.

And as she stands there, with her pristine business blazer hanging off her shoulders, arms crossed, and her face set in a cold, impassive expression; Kara can only fear the worst.

She looks every bit like a Luthor beside her older brother right then.

"Where's mother?" She questions tersely – unsmilingly. A tepid response to her brother's warm greeting.

She doesn't even spare a glance in Kara's direction.

"In Metropolis. I'm afraid there's been a change in plans."

"What changed?"

Lex turns to properly fix his attention on his younger sister then, angling away from Kara. He regards Lena for a pensive moment, the cordial grin on his face slowly fading away as his stare steels over, turning a shade more severe.

"The isotope, please, Lena."

Lena only frowns. For a second there, she almost looked taken aback by Lex' sudden request, as if it wasn't all part of the plan. But she quickly schools her features together, slipping back into that mask of calm and control.

"I told Mum. I told you. It's not ready for at least another two days."

She meets his gaze levelly, unrelenting, as her brother continues to stare her down, sizing her up, scrutinising her. All as the dark look in his eyes only seem to intensify, sharpening into something a lot more austere – angry.

Suddenly, the silence in the air feels weighted, thick with a tension that is so very palpable; it makes Kara almost want to squirm.

"I know you have it on you, Lena," Lex says, quietly, after a prolonged beat, a sigh on his breath.

His gaze flickers over to Kara, just as she finds herself tensing, a full body chill running down her spine from simply meeting his eyes. They have never looked more feral then. Dangerous, especially paired with the cruel smirk playing on his lips.

"Look, I've even gone out of the way to get you a present, considering how glum you've been lately." He grabs Kara roughly by the hair, shoving her towards Lena, albeit holding her down with his heel against her skull. "I figured you needed a little motivation. An incentive if you will. So be a dear and hand me the isotope. I'll even release you your pet Kryptonian."

"No, Lena, don't do it..." Kara groans feebly, peering up at Lena imploringly through her matted tendrils of hair that has crusted over with dried blood.

"I don't think you're in any position to argue here, Miss Danvers." Lex snarks back, forcing Kara down harder beneath his heel.

Kara chokes back on a pained cry.

"Please don't hurt her!" Lena rushes out before she can even stop herself.

For the very first time that evening, her cold and flinty façade crumbles.

Blinking past her red-tinged vision, hindered by the fresh blood trickling into her eyes from the cut above her brow, Kara catches the horror-stricken look on Lena's face; the way her bottom lip trembles as she clutches her hand to her chest, as if not quite trusting herself to stay put.

Lex laughs airily, shaking his head. "My god, Lena. You're taking this whole pet thing way too seriously." He eases up on the pressure against Kara's skull, stepping aside for a moment. "It's almost like you genuinely care for her."

Only to draw back for a vicious kick, the blow landing squarely on her chest.

Kara wheezes, eyes watering, her ribs rattling with every laboured breath she takes.

"Lex!" Lena exclaims.

And this time, she does step forward, swiftly slotting herself between Kara and her brother in a protective gesture, all while she holds him back by the shoulders, only just barely stopping him in time for another kick.

"I can't believe this." Lex murmurs, setting his foot down with a frown, his tone incredulous and angry. "You actually do care for her." He glowers down hatefully at the broken form of Kara lying by their feet, throwing a scathing finger in her direction. "A filthy Kryptonian."

Lena holds a placating hand out towards him, warding him off as she moves him a step back ever so gingerly. "I'll give you the isotope," she pleads, reaching for her blazer pocket, "so please just let her go."

"-Lena, no..."

But Kara's warning only falls on deaf ears when Lena finally hands Lex the isotope – a device no bigger than her thumb. He stares hard at it for a moment, holding it up against the light, his gaze contemplative and pensive.

"Well, I suppose this sums it all up perfectly then," he murmurs absently, sounding almost wistful for whatever reasons.

Without any preamble, he throws the device down onto the ground, and crushes it beneath his foot with a loud deafening crack that resonates through the entire port – much to everyone's consternation.

"Did you honestly think I'd believe for one second, that you would ever willingly hand me the actual isotope this easily?"

He turns to Lena pointedly, who looks as if the sky has fallen right before her very eyes.

"Especially after you've painstakingly gone out of the way to make it inert?"

"I-I..." Lena stammers, blanching completely as she staggers a step back in wide-eyed horror.

Lex only sighs, deflating, and away comes his bravado, peeling off him like a second skin – the very armour he prides himself on. And underneath all that madness, lies a broken man. Tired, overworked and haggard.

_Hurt._

"I knew, Lena," he says quietly, lips thinning into a grim frown, eyes dark and sad. "I knew there was a mole within us, skulking around and leaking information out to the various government services like the DEO – the FBI. For the longest of time, I had my suspicions. And even when Mum was insistent that the traitor was you, I kept brushing it off."

He pauses, balling at his fists, swallowing hard as he steels himself to turn his green gaze back onto Lena, looking to her searchingly – desperately.

"Because how can I bring myself to believe that my darling sister would ever betray us like that?"

But the moment ends when Lex presses his fingers against his temple, screwing his eyes shut as he soughs in deeply. The next time he glances up, his mask is back on. Jaw set, chin raised and shoulders squared, all traces of his previous hurt and disappointment gone, replaced by this unyielding frigidness that chills even Kara to the bone.

"Turns out I was wrong."

He reaches into his breast pocket, retrieving what appears to be an exact copy of the isotope from before. He strides on purposefully over to the missile launcher. "While you were busy stalling for time, I was busy creating the actual isotope myself, you see." With a quick fiddle around the contraption, Lex installs the isotope, loading it up onto the missile.

Looking over his shoulder at Lena, he throws her a twisted-looking triumph grin.

"Checkmate, Lena."

And without a moment of hesitation, he twists at the lock and slams down onto the launch pad control.

"NO!" Kara cries out in terror, but her voice is drowned out by the roar of the missile, rearing for take-off.

She wriggles, writhes and squirms in her last-ditch attempt to escape her restraints, fighting against the throbbing ache that is radiating through every single cell of her body; fighting against the crushing sense of helplessness as she can only watch the missile bearing the Medusa virus speed off into the night, winking away in the distance.

The resulting silence that rolls in shortly after has never been more deafening.

"Now that that's done and dealt with, back to pressing matters at hand."

Lex saunters over to Lena, footsteps clicking forebodingly behind him. He stops just right in front of her, staring her down, his gaze sharp and uninviting.

"You know fair well that your betrayal is not something I can let slide so simply," he says, pausing meaningfully. He considers Lena for a moment, watching her wilt beneath the force of his gaze – under her failure to thwart her brother's plans – with a dismal look in her eyes.

He sighs then, the steel in his gaze letting up, softening ever so as he reaches in to tuck a lock of hair behind his sister's ear, fingers grazing across her cheek affectionately.

"But it's okay, you're my darling sister, and I love you," he says, smiling down at Lena ruefully when she chances a tentative peek up at him, meeting his eyes. "So, Lena, I'll give you one last chance."

He draws a handgun from an inconspicuous pocket holster from within his Armani coat, pressing the cold hard steel into Lena's palm.

"End the Kryptonian, and redeem yourself. Make your family proud."

Lena doesn't react immediately at first, merely staring down blankly at her hand with the handgun sitting snugly in her palm, eyes dark and expression unreadable.

Peering up at her through half-lidded eyes, Kara can only wonder what is running through her head right this very moment.

But then her breath catches.

All as Lena slowly but carefully raises the gun, pointing its barrel directly Kara.

And it's almost like time have seemed to pass in slow motion, with the only sound Kara can hear being the forceful pounding of her own heart against her ribs.

She glances up at Lena's face, and sees the turmoil of emotions swirling through the murky depths of her eyes, glistening with unshed tears. Her throat bobs with a swallow, rising and falling in choppy motions as the gun in her hand trembles.

Lena sniffs, adjusting her grip, making to steady the gun with her other hand, but when her gaze finally meets Kara, she nearly loses it right there and then – the apology in her eyes has never been more clear.

 _Well, if I have to die,_ Kara muses _, at least it's by Lena's hand._

With a quiet breath, she closes her eyes defeatedly, resigning herself completely to her fate.

So much so that she doesn't catch the lone tear slithering down Lena's cheek.

_"I'm sorry."_

And comes the ensuing bang. Like a crack in the air, it resounds on endlessly throughout the port.

Kara flinches, fully anticipating the gut-wrenching pain to blossom throughout her entire system.

Only to belatedly realise that it never came.

Tentatively, she flutters her eyes open, and is more than astonished to be faced with the scene of Lena standing over the fallen form of her older brother, curled up on the ground as he cradles at his bleeding abdomen.

"Checkmate, Lex."

"W-wha–?" Lex sputters on incredulously, glancing down at his quivering hand that has been stained, dyed red by the blood slowly oozing from his bullet wound. Kara watches in sick fascination at the way it soaks into the fabric of his suit, radiating outwards in a pool of crimson.

Lowering the gun and its smoking barrel, Lena immediately flings it aside, far beyond anyone's reach, before she rushes into towards her brother, scooping him gently into her arms.

"But I..."

He looks on dazedly between Lena and his injury, eyes glazed over and glassy when suddenly he snaps up at attention, looking over at the city's skyline with a certain urgency, cringing when the movement jostles his fresh wound.

For the first time since the deployment of the Medusa virus, Kara notices it too.

Across the lapping waves – across the murky sea that has been tinted purple by the night skies overhead– the city lights twinkle, dancing brightly along the expanse of darkness, unhindered and untethered. There isn't any of that signature wailing of the fire brigade's siren, nor plumes of grey and black smoke rising in the distance.

No piercing shrieks of the ambulance.

No signs of widespread panic and disorder.

Nothing.

"I-I don't–... why isn't–"

"The isotope you used to load up onto the missile was inert," Lena explains without missing a beat, her tone calm and even. She presses down firmly onto Lex' wound, ignoring her brother's ensuing groan as she tries to aid in the arrest of his bleeding. "I swopped the isotopes when you weren't looking. Remember lunch?"

Lex laughs wryly, his breaths quickly turning laboured and shallow, face growing pale. "You knew... All along," he murmurs, chuckling quietly to himself as if he had finally just figured it all out. "Still, that was a pretty risky move coming from you... What if I had believed you?"

Lena smiles a sad, rueful little smile then. She touches a delicate finger to his face.

"I know you, Lex." Is all she says.

"And I knew you too," he whispers back, reaching up with a shaky hand, smearing a short line of blood across her cheek as he gently grazes the skin there in a tender moment. "Once."

And with a wistful smile and a sigh, he lets his hand fall back down to grasp at his injured side, cringing. "To think that I'll die by your hands of all people."

"You're not going to die, Lex," Lena tells him, and Kara can almost hear the eye-roll in her voice. "I've made sure of that."

As if on cue, the characteristic wail of the ambulance siren blares in the distance.

"And I called the police too."

"What about Mum?"

"She's being dealt with by the authorities as we speak."

He manages a weak chuckle, shaking his head. "You played us well, Lena. I should have expected no less from you."

He looks to Lena, a full-force grin curving at his lips, green eyes shining, bursting with pride – and it's probably the most sincere and genuine Kara has ever seen him.

_"You are but a Luthor after all."_

 

* * *

 

Right after the second Lex is carted away in cuffs by the paramedics, all while being escorted closely behind by the police, Lena is immediately by Kara's side, fussing over her restraints.

The moment Kara is set free, she lets out a loud sigh of relief – one that is long overdue – and slumps, flopping over the concrete with her limbs splayed out like a starfish. Finally, without the constant stress of kryptonite flooding her system, she has never felt more alive – despite the injuries littered across her body in varying sizes of cuts and bruises.

"You're hurt," Lena whispers, a pained look twisting at her features as she traces a delicate thumb across the cut above Kara's brow, her touch light and ever so faint.

"I'll heal," Kara smiles feebly, gently holding Lena's hand to her cheek, leaning further into her touch. She sighs blissfully, lacing their fingers together.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here any quicker. If only I did, you–"

"Lena, it's fine," Kara says, cutting her off with a reassuring smile. She makes to sit herself up with a cringe and a stifled groan, all so she can face Lena properly – to look her squarely in the eye. "You saved me – no, you saved everyone. I'm just glad you're okay."

Sniffling, Lena casts her a watery smile, and without another word, she throws her arms over Kara, pulling her into a tight hug – as tight as it can be without actually hurting Kara. Smiling away tearfully, Kara reciprocates the gesture by carding her fingers through Lena's dark mane, holding her close and burrowing her face into the slant of her neck, simply soaking in her warmth.

For the first time that entire evening, Kara feels safe.

But eventually, all good things must come to an end.

When the shrill cry of Alex pierces through the air, her lean form nudging her way through the barricade of DEO and police officers, only then did they part from each other, albeit with ever so much of reluctance.

"Supergirl!"

She flashes her adoptive sister a small smile in greeting when she skids to a halt before them, looking all breathless and dishevelled, overwrought with worry.

It is at that moment when Lena chooses to clear her throat, quietly excusing herself, knowing that her presence is unwanted – at least for now.

"I'll, um, go give the police my statement then."

With a final look and a smile at Kara, she slinks away towards the direction of the few police officers standing around, all while as Kara watches her go longingly, but she eventually pivots her attention back onto Alex.

"Hey–"

"Thank God, you're safe." Alex glomps her in a crushing hug before she can even get anything else past her lips, though thankfully it only lasts for a second. The next thing Kara knows, she's all up in her face, fussing over her frantically, eyes teeming with reproach and relief – though, mostly relief. "Don't you ever go rushing alone into something like that again, you hear me?"

"I'm sorry, Alex," mumbles Kara abashedly, her head bowing over from the weight of her guilt. "I kept you in the dark again."

Alex only sighs, shooting Kara a half-hearted glare as she lightly flicks her on the forehead in admonishment

"You're lucky your girlfriend had the good mind not to."

"My g-girlfriend?"

Kara blushes, blinking owlishly. She has only ever referred to Lena as anything but girlfriend, even in her head. But to hear it out loud like this, it has definitely got a nice ring to it, she thinks.

"She came down to us shortly after you left. Literally barged into a clandestine organisation all frantic with worry, insisting that you were in some kind of danger when we had all just seen you minutes ago."

"Lena did?" Kara blinks, gaping slightly in disbelief as she tries to picture the scene in her head, albeit finding it a little hard.

Through the months she has known Lena, she has never been one to ask for help. No matter how tight of a pinch she is in; no matter how much the pressure crushes on her, she would always – **_always_** – grit her teeth and roll with it. The most she has ever asked of Kara was to simply hold her. Nothing more.

"She made us listen, forced us to check your tracker and beacon even though we wouldn't believe her. But of course, they were all unresponsive like she said they were so we had to believe her then."

"That definitely does sound like Lena." Kara chuckles quietly, her heart bridling with pride, her eyes soft with affection.

"Long story short, she ended up signing a plea deal with us, and told us everything."

"Everything?"

Alex nods gravely.

"The location of her family's secret labs, Lex' warehouse, Medusa and isotope 454. **_Everything_**. Honestly, we all thought she'd at least put up a fight with surrendering her information, but she didn't. I mean who would have thought Lena Luthor would sell out her whole entire family just like that." Alex says, snapping her fingers for further emphasis.

She laughs wryly, shaking her head. "Even offered us this crazy proposition to help take down her family down for good. We just couldn't believe it, but you know J'onn, what with him being psychic and everything, he trusted her. And boy, I'm glad he did."

Alex cocks her head, prying her gaze away from Kara's face to stare at something slightly off to her side. Tracing after her line of sight, Kara finds herself watching Lena, who's hugging at her sides defensively as she speaks to a police officer.

"It takes a lot of guts walking into an enemy base, unarmed, like this." Alex hums musingly, her expression thoughtful as she regards Lena from a distance. "To think she'd actually risk it all just for you."

"The DEO you mean?"

"And this too," Alex says, with a quick jerk of her chin, gesturing to the entirety of the situation. Her gaze falls back onto Kara, softening with the barest hint of apology hidden behind her brown depths. "She must really love you a whole lot," she concedes quietly.

Kara nods, folding a hand over her heart, a fond smile on her lips. "She does."

She thinks back to that night. Red-rimmed eyes, splotchy cheeks and tears running down her face as she kisses Kara goodbye. How hard she has fought to protect Kara from her family all this time, working behind the scenes.

Back at the Gala.

_And even now._

"But enough of chitchat, we need to get you under the sun lamps ASAP." Immediately moving into action, Alex bustles into position, slinging Kara's arm over her shoulder as she gently steadies her by the waist, hefting her up to her feet with a grunt – and a wince from Kara.

"I'm fine," Kara protests, wriggling free from her sister's grasp.

She stands unsupported for a brief minute, wavering, breathing deeply through the throb that is radiating through her body with every beat of her heart. Needless to say, it has dulled over considerably, now that she's free of her kryptonite confines. But when she hobbles her first step forwards, she stumbles, her knees buckling, giving way almost instantly.

Fortunately, Alex is there to catch her.

"Says the girl who can barely even stand," Alex snorts, holding Kara firm as she props her up against her person, standing in as a human crutch. When she notices the forlorn look that Kara throws in Lena's direction, she only sighs, gently knocking a knuckle against the side of the Kryptonian's uninjured temple in slight rebuke.

"Come on, Lena's not going anywhere. You'll get the chance to talk to her soon enough."

"B-but!"

"No buts."

Not having any more of Kara's protests, she hauls her off towards the DEO disguised vans, strapping her in securely for a speedy take-off.

 

* * *

 

Kara awakens from her dreamless slumber to the intense glare of the sun lamps overhead, blinding her eyes.

For a second, in her sleep-addled daze, all she sees is bright white fluorescent lamps, and she starts to panic.

Beside her, the beeping of the heart monitor machine thunders in her ears, slowly gaining momentum as her breathing quickens, shallowing. Suddenly, it feels like she's being held down by phantom gloved hands, and her eyes begin to roam desperately, squinting through the fluorescence when they happen to land onto a familiar mop of dark hair.

_Oh._

Immediately, she sinks back into the bed, shoulders sagging in relief as she gradually regains clarity of her situation. It is then does she dimly register the comfortable weight pressing against the lower half of her torso and the shape of slender fingers clasped over her own.

 _Warm_ , Kara thinks with a breath, the beeping beside her slowing back to a calm and even rhythm. She gazes down fondly at the sleeping form of Lena strewn across her, smiling softly. _It's warm._

Ever so gently, she cards her fingers through Lena's dark mane, pushing errant locks of hair out of her face while she lets her fingers linger on, ghosting across Lena's forehead, her temple and down the curve of her cheek. Her heart swells infinitely within the confines of her chest, her fingers tingling at the feel of Lena's skin beneath her fingertips – warm and soft.

She feels real.

_This is real._

Stirring under Kara's ministrations, Lena flutters her eyes open with a small stretch and a yawn. All as Kara watches on, waiting with bated breath for the very moment for their gazes to meet. And when they do, she finds herself catching her breath, her heart tripping over a beat.

It's almost as if time had stopped around them, and all she sees is Lena; sitting there in her chair, with the light catching in her hair, arching over her head like a halo as she raises her head up Kara sleepily.

 _Breath-taking_.

It almost brings Kara back to their very first meeting – of how it feels as if she's seeing Lena for the very first time all over again.

She watches as the cloud of bleariness in Lena's eyes gradually disperses away, slowly lighting up to a brilliant shade of viridian green at the realisation that Kara is finally awake, and staring back at her with a smile.

"They let you in."

"They did," Lena murmurs back, nodding, not quite able to contain her smile. Gingerly, she laces their fingers together and gently squeezes at their joined hands, brushing her lips across Kara's knuckles in a brief kiss. "How're you feeling?"

"Better, now that you're here," Kara answers, grinning, and the smile on Lena's lips only widen further, bursting through the ends of her cheeks.

Edging herself towards the headboard, Kara attempts to sit herself upright, albeit with much difficulty. Without missing a beat, Lena is immediately there by her side to steady her, propping her back up against a fort of pillows.

"Easy, you've got a couple broken ribs mending there."

Kara cringes, stifling back on a groan as she braces a hand against her aching side, plastering on a blithe grin. "Nothing that will kill me."

Lena rolls her eyes, albeit the smile on her face doesn't quite leave her; even when she huffs out what is probably intended to be a vexed sigh.

She twists over to her side where the water jug is, and swiftly pours Kara a glass. Holding the glass out towards Kara, she gently presses the cool glass into her palms, their fingers brushing, laying over each other for a moment. However, Lena doesn't quite let go.

"Careful, there. Can you hold it up by yourself?"

"I'm not made out of spun glass, you know." Kara jests, chuckling.

But she soon finds herself eating her words when her fingers nearly lose its grip on the smooth glass the very instant Lena loosens her hold.

"Thought so," murmurs Lena, sighing. She gingerly guides the rim of the glass to Kara's lips. "There're still minute traces of kryptonite in your system," she explains, expression growing dark with regret, looking almost pained as she sets the glass down right after Kara has taken her sip. "He must have injected you with it at some point to keep you weakened..."

Kara frowns deeply at that, knowing full well Lena's tendencies for self-blame. Has seen it first hand how the guilt eats away at her from inside out, destroying her slowly.

Instinctively, she reaches out towards Lena, and ever so tenderly, she cups the side of her face. "You don't have to keep beating yourself over it, Lena," she says, thumbing along the apple of her cheek in soothing circles. "I'm alive, and we're safe. And that's all that matters."

Lena nods, closing her eyes. "You're right." She leans further into Kara's touch, holding her close against her face as she nuzzles into her palm, shivering. "It's all that matters."

For a long while, they remain fixed in this position; unmoving, apart from the occasional caress of Kara's fingers, gently trailing down the seasoned path along Lena's cheek, fingers trailing down the slant of her jaw, once again getting reacquainted with the familiar slope of Lena's face – the feel of her skin under her fingers. How she had missed it all so dearly.

"I love you," Kara blurts out before she can even stop herself. But now that it's all out in the open, with Lena peering up at her, rapt with attention, there's no turning back – only forwards. "I've never gotten the chance to say it before, but now..."

Kara falters, wavering, as she gazes down at Lena, and sees nothing but her own reflection shining back at her in those pale green pools. A trickle of her dreaded insecurities hits her then, gripping at her heart. Her fragile heart which had been shattered into a million pieces, and then subsequently put back together.

The same battered heart she is so willingly offering up to Lena right this very moment

"You're not going to leave me again, are you?" She asks, in a tiny warble of a voice.

"Not unless you want me to," Lena answers back, in complete earnest, a small rueful smile on her lips. Her fingers are warm over Kara's, her grip firm and unyielding, and behind the forest green of her eyes, Kara catches the hint of a promise.

 _I will never let go._ They almost seem to say. _Not ever again._

And it's more than enough for Kara to burst with joy, her chest swelling and throbbing with so much love and happiness that unknowingly, her eyes begin to brim with tears – happy tears, she tells herself – as her face splits into a broad, toothy grin.

She holds her arms out towards Lena, her intention behind the gesture as clear as day. And without missing a beat, Lena falls right into Kara's embrace, pressing her face up against the slant of her neck while her arms come to twine around her waist instinctively.

It is right then that Kara decides to seize the opportunity, and in one fell swoop, she drags Lena down with her onto the bed, earning herself a surprised yelp in the process.

"Got you," she whispers into Lena's mop of dark hair, tangling their legs together in her attempt to keep her trapped, not that she actually needs to, given the lack of struggle on Lena's part. Though, she still tightens her grip around Lena as an extra precaution, feeling the rumble of her laughter buzzing through her pleasantly.

"No," Lena whispers back, her eyes twinkling, alight with mischief when Kara chances a peek down at her. " ** _I_** got **you**."

And with that, she surges up to capture Kara's lips in a fiery kiss that steals the very air right from her lungs. Kara sighs, immediately melting into the kiss as their lips glide along one another in a passionate dance, their noses brushing, their teeth occasionally clicking, their breaths mingling. She doesn't think she can ever get enough of Lena.

And it would also appear that Lena shares the same sentiments, her hand drifting over to Kara's nape to bring her in closer, her lips parting ever so slightly to further deepen their kiss.

But eventually all of that fire burns out, and their hungry kisses soon turn to delicate nips and pecks, slowing into something more gentle and light when they finally pry apart for a brief moment to catch their breaths.

"It's all finally over," Kara murmurs quietly. Her brow lingers on, pressed against Lena's even when their lips break contact. She slides her eyes open, finding herself staring into the deep recesses of Lena's sea-green orbs, enamoured by the dazzling stars she sees shining in them.

"It really is," hums Lena, circling a lock of hair behind Kara's ear, her fingers tracing down the length of her jaw faintly. "My brother and mother are both locked away in a maximum security prison. Cyborg Superman and Metallo are contained at the DEO. Nothing can stop us now."

"From what?" Kara laughs. _World domination?_ The greater part of her had wanted to joke.

But one look into Lena's eyes, teeming bright with the sparkle of hope – the one thing that has been constantly evading Lena all this time – Kara finds her quip dying on her tongue almost instantly.

"Being together," she breathes, grinning at Kara lopsidedly in a way that makes her heartbeat quicken, her chest bursting with ever so much of adoration for the woman before her.

Gently, she presses a kiss down onto Lena's lips, putting her heart and her soul behind it.

"I love you too, you know," Lena whispers fervently against her lips, hands cradling the sides of Kara's face, holding her delicately in her palms. "With all of my heart."

"To think it all started with us running into each other at Trader Joe's." Kara laughs wetly, positively sure that her eyes are leaking with tears of joy right this very moment.

Because their next kiss tastes almost vaguely salty.

Lena chuckles, thumbing and kissing away at the line of tears streaking down Kara's face, her lips ghosting over her skin like a whisper. "Well, it was happenstance that we met," she says, fingers twirling at Kara's gold-spun locks affectionately. When she gazes back at Kara, her eyes are soft and so full of love.

"But honestly, I believe it was fate that brought us together."

With a hand gently guiding Kara in, she meets her halfway, and this time, their kiss is infinitely far more sweeter than any of their kisses have ever been.

 

 

_Fin._

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: HOLY SHIT WE'VE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE END!! I just want to thank every single one of you out there for reading this story (that has been no doubt, built on my sweat and tears for over the past year or so). And to those who have stuck with me from the very beginning, you are the real MVPS here. I really hope the whole confrontation with Lex has lived up to everyone's expectations. I've been waiting forever to say this, tho I suppose it should be pretty damned obvious with the whole star-crossed lovers theme going on, but has anyone actually caught on to the small Romeo and Juliet references/parallels sprinkled across this story? :x But yeah, wow, I still can't quite believe that this is the end LOL. Time to move on to my next big project, I guess.
> 
> But anyhow, do stick around a little longer for the epilogue that will be posted up soon. 
> 
> And once again, thank you all for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> love it, hate it? let me know what you think in the comments or come yell at me on tumblr @[frostybwitch](http://frostybwitch.tumblr.com/)


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